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"I still haven't gotten to see you prancing, not even in adorable baby pictures," wheedles Bella.

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"Nooooo, how would you ever take me seriously if you saw that?"

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"Because I take you so seriously now. We have a very somber relationship." Pause. "I want to see and if you don't let me see I may go to your alts for advice on how to get you to show me the adorable baby deer pictures that I know to exist."

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"There's no stopping you on your adorable baby deer pictures rampage, is there. You have to see them, don't you."

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"Yes!"

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"Very well," says Darren, gravely. "You may see the adorable prancing fawn pictures." Pause. "On the condition that you show no one else."

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"You don't have to let me take physical possession of them, I just want to see them!"

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"Good, good. Then when we're in Forks we will bug my dad for them, and you may see them. Briefly."

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"Yaaaay at laaaaast."

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"It only took years of begging," he snorts. "And alternates of both of us showing up with fancy magic."

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"Intermittent begging. And negotiating and attempts at bamboozlement."

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"Yes, all of those things. Is it worth it, Bella? Is it worth the cost and toil for these baby deer pictures?"

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"I guess I'll finally know when I've seen them!"

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"I'm gathering letting me look over her shoulder is out of the question."

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"What if I invest years of intermittent begging and negotiating and attempts at bamboozlement?"

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"Probably still no. I'm not dating you, and I'm terribly sorry to say that I am happily taken, so - I doubt it's going to happen. Sorry."

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"Terribly sorry?" says Phix archly.

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"I figured I should let her down gently."

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"I wasn't hitting on you. I'm more than four times your age and Phix would be irritated with me."

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"It's still really rude to be like - 'Yeah I'm not ever going to date you, and I'm not sorry. I'm dating this awesome equivalent of a magic fairy princess, and she geeks out about magic with me; it's the best.'"

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"Considering what relation I stand in to the fairy princess in question, I could still be flattered," Spring points out.

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"I am, it would seem," Phix mentions, "the only living sphinx, although I guess if resurrection works on critters that could change. And sphinxes get very cool powerful magic."

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"Not why I'm dating you," says Darren in a sing-song voice. "Just a nice perk."

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"I know, dear."

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