"Then there's all the weird shit.  Ione, our Nethysian Safety Officer, has advised me that I probably should not go into the really weird shit for now.  Some of the very weirdest shit is looking hopefully like it might have been much narrower in scope than I previously thought."

"If, however, any of you are the Demon Lord Nocticula in disguise, we may have to revisit the question of whether it was in fact weird shit of somewhat broader scope.  Yes, we're on to you, Nocticula, no, that wasn't anything you could possibly have prevented, it was just weird shit, sorry."

These people are too disciplined to look wildly at each other trying to figure out whether anyone is the Demon Lord Nocticula! They will rigidly not do that! Keltham's lecture is producing rapid whiplash between excitement and terror; the characterization of him as a cross between a paladin and a hurricane is starting to make more sense. 

Lady Avaricia feels that this place isn't classy enough for Nocticula, though it's entirely possibly she'll show up once they fix that.

"Nethysian advisory.  Keltham, most of these people are now trying to figure out which of them is Nocticula in disguise, and this is not, in fact, a very nice thing to be trying to figure out."

"Ah.  Yes.  Sorry.  That scenario isn't very likely.  I've tried to make several predictions like that before, and none of the ones as far-fetched as the Nocticula scenario have come true - all the predictions that did come true were things that arguably could've happened anyways.  Call it something like 2% probability - meaning the sort of thing that would happen 1 out of 50 times, if transcripts or Asmodia haven't covered that for you."

"Nethysian advisory.  They're still pretty worried about a 2% probability when it comes to something like one of them secretly being the Demon Lord Nocticula."

"Fair, but us running into something with overpowering Splendour has been heavily foreshadowed at this point and I'm not that sure the tropes aren't real... sorry, that's more weird shit I wasn't supposed to go into."

"Anyways.  Welcome to Project Lawful.  If you're worried about whether it's always going to be like this around here, the answer is:  Yes.  Yes, it is.  I'm trying to be upfront about that before you actually go deciding to work for me."

"Any questions?"

"Are we allowed to know which of the Project Lawful rumors are true," says Xanthippe Abelló, who was previously at the front in Nidal and has Heard Some Project Lawful rumors, and gotten Asmodia's approval for the alter-Cheliax existence of fully a third of them.

"First of all, probably yes."

"Second of all, what rumors?"

Xanthippe takes a deep breath and starts rattling them off. 

"If you join Project Lawful you can offer to sell your soul for a Wish and the devil'll tell you that's unfair in their favor.

Asmodeus has declared that the greatest of Project Lawful will be a new archduke of a new layer of Hell.

Project Lawful participated in the fight with Zon Kuthon.

Project Lawful is a Kuthite project that escaped to Cheliax.

Project Lawful killed Aroden.

Project Lawful girls are all mystic theurges like Nefreti Clepati.

Project Lawful is led by a secret ninth-circle wizard who was pretending to be a third-circle unit wizard at the Worldwound.

Project Lawful runs on enchanted cake that makes you a sorcerer."

"Maillol and I are going to have some words about this."

"So our current model is that Nidal's attack on Project Lawful kicked off the god-war that got Zon Kuthon sealed.  Furthermore, our current model is that my god, Asmodeus, Nethys, and Cayden Cailean, were aware that attack was coming, and in fact deliberately triggered that attack, with timing appropriate to get me out of the worst harm's way.  We did not participate significantly in the godwar itself, and are not ready to support the Nidal fight."

"I don't know what a 'mystic theurge' is."

"If hypothetically Carissa were secretly a ninth-circle wizard, and I knew this fact, she would presumably have good reasons to keep it secret, and I wouldn't be able to tell you about it, so I can't confirm or deny that one."

"We are not a Kuthite project that escaped to Cheliax."

"The rest of these are not only false, but cause me to wonder at the unLawfulness of the mental processes that must have first produced them and then considered them plausible enough to propagate.  What with, for example, Aroden having died one hundred years ago if I'm not mistaken, Asmodeus being extremely limited in comms bandwidth, Wishes potentially producing flaming craters the size of Teleport radiuses, and how would they even know about the cake - oh, the experiments in the Palace in Egorian, right."

"...I have to say, I am incredibly not impressed with Chelish Security here."

"I could add to that list of rumors, if for some baffling reason that's productive," says Lady Avaricia, who thinks that sharing rumors is incredibly not classy and does not want anyone in the room confused about the fact she thinks so. "I assumed it was deliberate disinformation for idiots, because other countries are desperate to find out what Project Lawful is all about."

"You know, there's a version of that policy which would make sense, but that's even worse news because it implies that there was more accurate info in the process of escaping and which they needed to bury.  Including something specifically about the cake that they needed to bury."  Though why you'd target that disinfo at idiots...

"I'll look into it later.  Not your job to worry about."

"Other questions?"

No other questions!! They've been told Keltham likes it when you ask questions but not encouraged all that hard; he wouldn't expect them to be coming pre-prepared.

(Fuck, now they need to know what actual rumor about cake was escaping that alterCheliax thought necessary to bury.  Asmodia should have seen that one coming, and admits fault in it.)

All right, back to breakfast then!

Keltham himself shall sit down with Carissa; they need to plan out what the process looks like of getting the newcomers up to speed.  If he was a real CEO he would have already planned that out, and been free to mingle with the newcomers as would make them feel more welcome.  Well, he's not a real anything except a real Keltham, didn't already plan that out, and now needs to plan it before he can figure out how to schedule the rest of the day.  His brain is a bit tired for doing more ACID.

"It was a really impressive amount of acid. You could have us, led by Asmodia, give all the introductory lectures, while you watch and correct anything we're missing? That seems restful and would also give you a sense of how thoroughly we've grasped things. Alternatively you could throw them in the deep end, continue lecturing on Utility, see where they get confused."

Message to Asmodia (CC: Carissa):  Asmodia, what'd you already teach them yesterday?

Reply:  Law of Probability only, so far.  I'm planning to burn any off-hours I and they can spare, on catching them up to anything I can figure out how to teach, especially while you're working on other things.  In hopes that you will recognize all the tremendous value I am generating, even compared to the other tier-1s, and award me a greater share of the Project.

Message:  You understand that I make no further promises there and that it's not a matter of just a couple of weeks of working, right?  Even at the high-leverage start.  I am paying relatively generously and neither you nor Ione get to have everything you want just because you asked.

Reply:  I know and understand.  Just as I know and understand that if I actually do end up deserving a greater reward, Keltham out of dath ilan will make sure I get it.  If I'm not rewarded, it means I was wrong, not that he was.

...okay.

Message:  I'll do my best to live up to that.

It occurs to Asmodia only after she has spoken that - well, she's not sure it's not progress on corrupting Keltham, what just happened?  Him being encouraged to hold all power in his own hands, to be the only decider of who deserves what, and right in every argument about that?  But it... didn't feel quite like progress, somehow, on corrupting him.

Maybe bad things happen when a fake Asmodia speaks from her heart.

Hopefully not too much damage was done.  Asmodia knows what it is like, now, to have a Plan to protect, and she wouldn't want to hurt Sevar's own Plan.

"Should we go ask Maillol pointed questions now, or are you figuring it's too late for that to help and it might as well wait?"

"Might as well wait, yeah.  Not much I can do about it now."

"Going back to topic - dath ilani kids learn from older kids, and solidify their own understanding by teaching younger kids.  It's thought that the natural processes of heredity-optimization that produced humanity would have, in some sense, designed younger kids mainly to learn from older kids.  Though the things being taught were a lot less complicated then."

"You're not kids, but the part where you can solidify your own understanding by teaching others... seems like it should probably still hold?  So, yeah, I guess, you teach the new candidates, I step in as needed.  Wouldn't be surprised if I was stepping in a lot."

"Alternatively, I could launch straight into 'Science', as the procedures for uncovering the Laws of the world are called out of dath ilan, if Asmodia managed to get enough basic Probability into them that they can handle the math for that."

"That admittedly sounds much more interesting than getting the new people up to speed." And important for the Conspiracy.