Harsh.

And mostly unfair.

If Cayden didn't know that Abadar was an ancient god and therefore incapable of jokes, he'd suspect him of a dry sense of humor.

"I do think he has a better reputation outside Cheliax." Renzio is dubious as well, Chaotic Good seems such a stupid alignment, but, well, he has already decided to assume everything the teachers say might be lies.

And then Tetula-- takes a deep breath, gets control of herself, focuses.

She is grateful to have cleric powers. She is grateful that her dream boyfriend turned out to exist rather than being a very unrealistic figment of her imagination. These are good things, and she can turn her mind to focus on the good things and ignore everything else. Why would she complain about the exact traits of her dream boyfriend that gives her cleric powers? She should just be happy to have cleric powers at all. 

From Renzio's perspective, Tetula has suddenly become perky and cheerful. "I guess that explains the dream sex! Cayden Cailean is not spending his resources the way a god like Asmodeus would."

Somebody is perhaps having dream sex with Asmodeus but Renzio never wants it to be him.

"They are very different gods! Do you want to try channeling with a tankard picture and see for sure?"

"Sure! --I wonder if I'm going to get pregnant. I'd have to keep it, it'd probably be a sorcerer or an oracle or an aasimar."

"I think realizing you're pregnant is a good reason to make a sudden and unexpected attempt to escape cheliax really. I don't know what my parents were thinking. Maybe they failed and that's when I was brought to the abbey actually, that would make sense."

Tankard drawing?

Tankard drawing! 

Did Renzio have any little cuts or scrapes, by coincidence? Because he doesn't have those anymore. 

He cleared the worst of it when he did his own first channel getting other students out, but he did scrape his hands a bit climbing up to that window.

"That worked! Uh, do you congratulations or commiseration? Buying you a beer once we're free and clear seems appropriate. "

"...I don't really drink."

"I don't really make free and uncoerced bargains either but Abadar chose me anyway. Maybe the beer in Cheliax is as unfathomably awful as their contracts."

"I'm really happy to have cleric powers and to serve my new master!" Tetula chirps. 

"I don't know enough about Caydenite theology to swear to it but I do not think it's a master and slave arrangement?" It's been a while since he read those books. "If we've figured this out though, we should get moving. Anything else you need?"

"Not really, let's head to where your rescuees are." As they walk, she says, "but surely any god is going to be their clerics' master."

"Mine doesn't feel like that? They're more like. . . someone offering to cut a good deal with me? They want me to do them a favour, but they're doing me one too and we're both better off. I'm not taking orders, I'm taking bribes. That's much better."

Here are a handful of half-starved wizard students! They're a scraggly lot, hiding in the bushes near the kitchen.

"I'm a cleric of Cayden Cailean," Tetula says, "and I'm going to get all of you out."

Six wizard students turn around at the sound of her voice, each one showing signs of having been locked in a Chelish dungeon recently. It's only a wizard school dungeon, but it is still a dungeon. Cheliax believes in motivating its students. Perhaps Tetula recognizes some of them from her classes?

Marc Valladares isn't necessarily the tallest, but he's certainly the biggest overall. "The drunk? The completely inept and useless drunk who ascended to godhood on impulse?  That Cayden Cailean?"

Malak Verdugo's sleeve is ripped in several places but she seems somehow more alert than Marc, like tonight's taken less out of her so far. She leans forward to get a better look at Tetula. "That does seem like the kind of crazy god who does self-sabotaging things like try and help people escape Cheliax." Tlthough there's no visible injury beneath the ripped sleeve, she's still rotating and stretching that arm as though getting used to there not being an injury there. On a not unrelated note, Malak Verdugo is ripped. 

In the back is a girl with a pronounced overbite who has put a light robe on over her uniform, her hood up and covering her hair. "You're Tetula, right? I remember you. I'm Leire. Thank you for your help." She turns a disapproving look on the other two. "And if he'll help us, then I'll thank Cayden Cailean as well." 

"Yep! The completely inept and useless drunk who ascended to godhood on impulse!" Tetula says cheerfully. "Is everyone on board with escaping to Andoran, or does anyone want to go back in the dungeons?"