"I admit, I hadn't particularly thought before about the question, wait, why is Jacint Subirachs a priestess of Asmodeus, which was not what I'd thought Asmodeus was particularly about.  I can see how she might be the opposite side of Pilar, but not what either of those things have to do with Asmodeus in the first place.  Asmodeus's concerns are pride, contracts, Law in whatever sense you meant that word before you knew me, and being the chief executive of Hell, right?"

"Did it translate as 'being the chief executive of Hell'? I guess Baseline doesn't have the concept. One of Asmodeus's domains of concern is ...trying for words you'll have...power. Not just in the sense that He rules Hell but also in the sense that power relations between individuals are of interest to Him and understood to be a way of relating to Him. This thing -" she leans into him - "is pleasing to Asmodeus, insofar as He can notice what mortals are doing at all."

"I thought Asmodeus was - weirder, more alien, less human - than, well, power relations between individuals like Pilar and Subirachs."

"Asmodeus is very alien and His will is hard to understand, and also He tends to predictably cleric people like Pilar and Subirachs."

"Did, he, like, make people like Pilar, who don't want to have free will anymore..."

Keltham thinks, but does not say, people like you; thinks, but does not say, that making there be masochists is ethically questionable behavior for a god and possibly the sort of behavior that causes Golarion Civilization to arrest one.

He doesn't actually believe that it's wrong for masochists to exist, but he hasn't really thought about it either; and it can be wrong to make a person who is then not wrong in themselves to exist, as Keltham's parents thought of themselves and Keltham.

"He made people who didn't have free will, who belonged to Law, and made the correct choice with no real sense they could instead make the incorrect choice as it wasn't in their natures, and other gods broke that, and that produced the current situation where people have free will but some of them don't want it. As I understand it; probably ask Subirachs if that has implications as weird and surprising as the Abyss being infinite, because I've always been of the 'if mortals are known to predictably get confused about this then I'll just wait until I'm a devil' school of thought, when it comes to theology."

Keltham is relieved but only slightly; he has a sense from prior grimdark experience of a Golarion Doomfact possibly hovering somewhere just out of his vision, but he doesn't know the exact direction to look, and maybe rather wouldn't right now.

"Infinite Abyss level weird implications, no.  What does Asmodeus think about Pilar's obligate fetish?  Or what does his Church say about ethics and procedures there?"

"The Church would say that it makes her - a very valuable possession, for the kind of person who wants and needs that, the kind of person who can complete her, and she ought to have it, and that it's not just an ordinary crime - though obviously depending on details it might be an ordinary crime - but also a sort of sacrilege, to have a possession like that and not treasure her and protect her and ensure that she finds fulfillment."

It's not really landing.  Civilization - probably wouldn't end up saying that?  Or if the argument landed, it would be an argument meshing more smoothly into Civilization-frameworks that Carissa doesn't know about, that Keltham isn't sure he really knows about to the level he maybe should.

Would the Kelthamverse end up saying it?

"Pilar isn't anyone's possession right now, is she?  What determines who gets to have her, if she can't say yes to it?"

"Well now we've got Cayden Cailean involved, I don't really know how that changes things. I think a lot of people like Pilar - just have Asmodeus in that place, their whole life, and their romantic life isn't spectacularly fulfilling? Or some - give themselves to Asmodeus's priests, since those He's vetted, where by 'give themselves' I mean something like 'make themselves known and see if there are takers'. Or some discover that nature in themselves after they're in a relationship like ours, though Pilar seems to not have that route available since she figured it out about herself already. 

I think probably if you don't end up growing in a direction where you want her and Subirachs thinks you'd be good for her, then she'll get picked up by a very important Asmodean priest, given the circles she's moving in these days. But right now even if any of them noticed her they'd, uh, wait and see if you do grow in that direction, given the givens."

"My brain keeps thinking I ought to figure out a sufficiently surprising test and direct it here, and I'm asking my brain why the Conspiracy would be faking this particular thing of all things, and my brain is not answering."

"Uh, don't figure out a clever way to prove it to me, I think this is a case where I take Civilization's standard Security advice and think of the test myself.  It also includes proverbs about listening to your brain, even though your brain is really actually not always correct."

Snuggle. "Makes sense. I won't suggest any tests.

....and I just thought of like three. Sorry. It's just an interesting challenge.

Pilar doesn't need you, anyway. If you don't ever want her and no priest ever picks her up then maybe she'll go to Hell early, at absolute worst."

"How many Pilars are there?  Per 1000, say."

"Good question. Not a hundred. Maybe ten?

You're wondering how weird it is, that you have twelve girls and she is one of them? It's weird. Not absurd, but - weird."

"Fraction of Asmodean priests who are like Subirachs in the relevant way?"

"One in twenty, maybe? That's not surprising, though, I think she got assigned in significant part to look out for me."

"Fraction of population that are priests of Asmodeus."

"One in a hundred." He's trying some kind of bizarre test but she's giving true answers so she should pass it.

"Twenty Pilars per Subirach.  Sounds like a crowded relationship, and a crowded market, and Subirachs currently doesn't have any visible Pilars.  That made more sense when I thought you were saying that Pilars went to Asmodean priests to get matchmade with somebody."

Ah, Keltham. She tries not to be distressed; she'd be confused by this, not distressed, in alter Cheliax. "I'd give decent odds Subirachs has several at home, actually, but yeah, the reason Pilar can probably land a priest of Asmodeus is because she's important and interesting now, not every girl like her is going to get a Subirachs. I think lots of people like Pilar are unfulfilled."

"If it's that unthinkable for a priest of Asmodeus to distribute a Pilar to someone who isn't himself a priest of Asmodeus, how would it be okay for Subirachs to tell me that I can have Pilar?"

Why does it feel like this to talk to Keltham even when you're not lying to him. Admittedly she's mostly not lying to him in the sense of having only the foggiest sense what civilians get up to . "...it's not unthinkable? I don't know how common it is but I wouldn't be surprised to hear about it. I bet Pilar could aim higher, is all."

"If Cheliax isn't just throwing Pilar to me because I'm important, the amount they know about me should not stack up to the amount they know about many non-aliens who would want a Pilar..."

His arms tighten around her.  "I'm sorry.  I don't want to talk about this, maybe shouldn't talk about it for a bit.  I should go with Yaisa before I go anywhere near Pilar, and I know that in the Conspiracy it wouldn't be that you were making this all up yourself and I caught you out in an inconsistency that easily, but -"

"I thought I'd be less scared than this, after the Suggestion spell, but now I'm in love with you and lose you if masochists are a Conspiracy invention and now I'm actually scared about that."

It's not even an inconsistency!!!!!!! Those numbers are her actual best guess!

"I - I know there's nothing I can say to you about that, because I could say it in the Conspiracy too. I hope you figure it out soon, though."