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Over the next week, Isabella gets the alethiometer to tell her that the planets they looked at don't contain microorganisms that know what to do with a human body (although the one with the giant bugs has some multicellular parasites that might be able to make do with the foreign macro-scale features of a human body if they got the chance). "The present", it includes in one of its answer phrasings, which is kind of worrying. But Adarin makes enough progress with his scry in little enough time that it's worth the double-check.
Isabella also hires ticket-takers, gives them little pots of ink to verify the authenticity of the passes she handed out, and opens the Los Angeles - New York route for the employees of her three companies of choice and anyone who shells out a cool fifteen thousand dollars per round trip (ten K for a one-way). This is steep, but it's within an order of magnitude of what people sometimes pay for short-notice first-class cross-country flights - with less novelty and more hassle. Albeit she doesn't supply inflight meals. She expects to have to raise the price when more people hear about it in response to volume and then be able to drop it again.
By the time the thing has been open for a few days she's fired and replaced one ticket-taker and the others have settled into a routine that she's willing to try out leaving unsupervised for awhile.
If Adarin's up for some up close and personal planet shopping and his results suggest it'll go well, anyway.
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"How far," Isabella asks the robot, "am I from you right now?"
"TWELVE MRR"
"How many mrr is it from here to the nearest shore of - the island with Tublurrsam on it?"
"ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-NINE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN - AT HIGHEST TIDE"
"TWELVE MRR"
"How many mrr is it from here to the nearest shore of - the island with Tublurrsam on it?"
"ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-NINE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN - AT HIGHEST TIDE"
prodigal_miser
In English: "Well, that works. Do you want to ask it more questions, or should we try going there?"
dark_light
"I have a few more questions..." Horrible tongue-twisting language. "How many robots belonging to the Nnsarxeph are there?"
"NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-EIGHT CONTINUE TO REPORT THAT THEY ARE OPERATIONAL"
"The others are - broken down?"
"OTHER UNITS HAVE BEEN DECOMMISSIONED - CANNIBALIZED TO ENABLE PROLONGATION OF THE SERVICE OF CONTINUING UNITS - DAMAGED BEYOND FIELD REPAIR - DESTROYED - OR LOST"
"How many robots have had one of those things happen to them in the last - four hundred years?"
"TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN"
"All nine hundred and eighty-eight of the operational robots are working at full capacity?"
"YES"
"How many are in this city right now?"
"ONE HUNDRED AND THREE"
"NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-EIGHT CONTINUE TO REPORT THAT THEY ARE OPERATIONAL"
"The others are - broken down?"
"OTHER UNITS HAVE BEEN DECOMMISSIONED - CANNIBALIZED TO ENABLE PROLONGATION OF THE SERVICE OF CONTINUING UNITS - DAMAGED BEYOND FIELD REPAIR - DESTROYED - OR LOST"
"How many robots have had one of those things happen to them in the last - four hundred years?"
"TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN"
"All nine hundred and eighty-eight of the operational robots are working at full capacity?"
"YES"
"How many are in this city right now?"
"ONE HUNDRED AND THREE"
prodigal_miser
"How many of them are in the capital?"
There are quite a lot of robots. It was probably a smart idea to not break the robot, if that many would have attacked him and Isabella.
(That doesn't mean he regrets wanting to.)
There are quite a lot of robots. It was probably a smart idea to not break the robot, if that many would have attacked him and Isabella.
(That doesn't mean he regrets wanting to.)
dark_light
"TWO HUNDRED AND NINE"
"And all these robots acknowledge that we are not enemies, and they will not harm us, and they will talk to us if we talk to them?"
"YES - ALL UNITS HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED"
"Do all the robots know the same things?"
"YES - INTERUNIT COMMUNICATIONS ARE FULLY OPERATIONAL"
"What authorization is required to alter robot orders from the capital command center?"
"THE AUTHORIZATION OF THE HIGHEST OFFICIAL OF THE NOBLE NNSARXPH MILITARY"
"...Who is that right now?"
"OUR DATABASE HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE THE DEATH OF SENIOR EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE SPECIALIST VVIRT"
Isabella hesitates, then says: "What would happen if I told you I field-promoted myself to senior equipment maintenance specialist?"
"THE SYSTEMS OF PROMOTION CURRENTLY IMPLEMENTED DUE TO PERSONNEL CRISIS ALLOW ANYONE OTHER THAN THE VILE C'THKBRRI INVADERS TO SELF-ENLIST AND TAKE POSITIONS BELOW THE RANK OF GRAND HONORABLE CXCXPHG"
"So you'd acknowledge me as a senior equipment maintenance specialist if I told you to."
"YES"
"And all these robots acknowledge that we are not enemies, and they will not harm us, and they will talk to us if we talk to them?"
"YES - ALL UNITS HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED"
"Do all the robots know the same things?"
"YES - INTERUNIT COMMUNICATIONS ARE FULLY OPERATIONAL"
"What authorization is required to alter robot orders from the capital command center?"
"THE AUTHORIZATION OF THE HIGHEST OFFICIAL OF THE NOBLE NNSARXPH MILITARY"
"...Who is that right now?"
"OUR DATABASE HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE THE DEATH OF SENIOR EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE SPECIALIST VVIRT"
Isabella hesitates, then says: "What would happen if I told you I field-promoted myself to senior equipment maintenance specialist?"
"THE SYSTEMS OF PROMOTION CURRENTLY IMPLEMENTED DUE TO PERSONNEL CRISIS ALLOW ANYONE OTHER THAN THE VILE C'THKBRRI INVADERS TO SELF-ENLIST AND TAKE POSITIONS BELOW THE RANK OF GRAND HONORABLE CXCXPHG"
"So you'd acknowledge me as a senior equipment maintenance specialist if I told you to."
"YES"
prodigal_miser
"... Hm. Okay, that's really, really tempting, and I love you so much for thinking of it," declares Adarin. "We should check that it won't get other robots to try and kill us, though. Especially if we declare ourselves part of the group they're invading."
"Do the vile Cithkbrri invaders have -" he searches for the right word "- have robots, too?"
"Do the vile Cithkbrri invaders have -" he searches for the right word "- have robots, too?"
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"CURRENT STATUS OF C'THKBRRI INVADER SCUM ROBOTIC ARSENAL UNKNOWN"
"Did they, four hundred years ago?" asks Isabella.
"C'THKBRRI HAVE USED ROBOTIC FORCES IN QUANTITIES NOT EXCEEDING TWENTY-FIVE UNIT PROTOTYPE BATCHES OF AT LEAST FIVE DIFFERENT CHASSIS"
"So there's probably never been more than about a hundred fifty, two hundred fifty, Sthikbrri robots," interprets Isabella, "and if the loss rates are similar to these guys, they've lost more than two-thirds - and I bet it's worse because if they're different kinds they won't be able to cannibalize each other for parts."
"Did they, four hundred years ago?" asks Isabella.
"C'THKBRRI HAVE USED ROBOTIC FORCES IN QUANTITIES NOT EXCEEDING TWENTY-FIVE UNIT PROTOTYPE BATCHES OF AT LEAST FIVE DIFFERENT CHASSIS"
"So there's probably never been more than about a hundred fifty, two hundred fifty, Sthikbrri robots," interprets Isabella, "and if the loss rates are similar to these guys, they've lost more than two-thirds - and I bet it's worse because if they're different kinds they won't be able to cannibalize each other for parts."
prodigal_miser
"That helps, a bit. Do you want to be the senior equipment maintenance specialist, or should I declare it? We could maybe pull something where we both have authority, but I'm worried any leftovers of the other type of robot would figure it out and we'd have to blow them up rather than trying to recruit them, too."
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"There's no guarantee that the invader scum left security holes so big you could drive a truck through them," Isabella points out.
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"How good were the - rather, how much of a threat were the invaders' robots the last time you got intel on them?" Isabella asks their robot.
"INVADER SCUM ROBOTICS IS MUCH INFERIOR TO THAT OF NOBLE NNSARXPH. ONE UNIT OF THIS TYPE WILL DEFEAT A SINGLE ONE OF THE VILE C'THKBRRI ROBOTS ONE HUNDRED TIMES OUT OF ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE. OUTNUMBERED INVADER SCUM ROBOTS HAVE INVARIABLY LOST CONFLICTS WITH UNITS OF THIS TYPE."
"INVADER SCUM ROBOTICS IS MUCH INFERIOR TO THAT OF NOBLE NNSARXPH. ONE UNIT OF THIS TYPE WILL DEFEAT A SINGLE ONE OF THE VILE C'THKBRRI ROBOTS ONE HUNDRED TIMES OUT OF ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE. OUTNUMBERED INVADER SCUM ROBOTS HAVE INVARIABLY LOST CONFLICTS WITH UNITS OF THIS TYPE."
prodigal_miser
"Hm. Okay, that helps. Guess we can drive the metaphorical truck through the huge holes in security without much trouble, then. Do you want an army of robots, or do I get it?"
dark_light
"I totally want an army of robots. I think I'll wait to promote myself till we're on that capital island, though, in case we learn something else or think of a better idea. Hey," she says to the robot, switching again, "how are you at learning new languages?"
"NEW LANGUAGE PROGRAMS MAY BE ADDED AT THE CAPITAL COMMAND CENTER"
"Pity. Okay... oh - besides the invader scum and your own noble people - what factions were there on this planet as of four hundred years ago?"
"OUR VALUED ALLIES THE BBNNSKT - OUR VALUED ALLIES THE AMNRLK - THE ALLIES OF THE INVADER SCUM, THE NYSTBLI - THE ALLIES OF THE INVADER SCUM, THE ENSZZGRTE - OUR WORTHY NEUTRAL ARBITER THE RRRWEN"
"NEW LANGUAGE PROGRAMS MAY BE ADDED AT THE CAPITAL COMMAND CENTER"
"Pity. Okay... oh - besides the invader scum and your own noble people - what factions were there on this planet as of four hundred years ago?"
"OUR VALUED ALLIES THE BBNNSKT - OUR VALUED ALLIES THE AMNRLK - THE ALLIES OF THE INVADER SCUM, THE NYSTBLI - THE ALLIES OF THE INVADER SCUM, THE ENSZZGRTE - OUR WORTHY NEUTRAL ARBITER THE RRRWEN"
prodigal_miser
"And how many robots to each of those factions have, as of four hundred years ago?" asks Adarin. Hey, if they can both get an army of robots, even better. He might need them.
dark_light
"NONE"
"Sorry, dear. If we mop up the invader scum effectively maybe you can be a senior equipment maintenance specialist too without cutting off our options."
"Sorry, dear. If we mop up the invader scum effectively maybe you can be a senior equipment maintenance specialist too without cutting off our options."
prodigal_miser
"My heart, it breaks," Adarin deadpans. "Oh well, I have at least three hundred years to figure out how to reverse engineer these robots to make more. I suppose I'll just have to make my own legion of robots. Bwuahahaha."
prodigal_miser
Kiss! "Thanks. Pass, though, you're adorable when you want an army of robots. You may have them, but if we travel to another planet or plane and find a cool thing that only one of us can be in charge of, I get dibs."
He winks.
He winks.
dark_light
"But what if I like that thing even more than a robot army, will you be able to handle the puppy eyes?"
dark_light
"Okay. Robot - is there a way to address this particular unit or your group consciousness?"
"NO"
"If I start calling you 'Juniper', will you acknowledge the designation?"
"YES"
"Okay, so Juniper, if we - infiltrate invader scum territory, or their allies' territory, then if I've promoted myself to senior equipment maintenance specialist and made changes at the command center, will I be able to command an escort of you to come with me?"
"YES"
"NO"
"If I start calling you 'Juniper', will you acknowledge the designation?"
"YES"
"Okay, so Juniper, if we - infiltrate invader scum territory, or their allies' territory, then if I've promoted myself to senior equipment maintenance specialist and made changes at the command center, will I be able to command an escort of you to come with me?"
"YES"
prodigal_miser
Adarin snickers at 'Juniper.'
"That's rather helpful. Robot bodyguards. I support this!"
"That's rather helpful. Robot bodyguards. I support this!"
dark_light
"Juniper, can you fly?"
"NO"
"Can the invader scum's robots fly?"
"NO - ONE KNOWN MODEL CAN JUMP UP TO FORTY-FIVE MRR"
"How effective are their robots at attacking airborne targets? Or any stationary weapons they might have still operational."
"THERE ARE NO AIRBORNE TARGETS"
Isabella tilts her head. "Huh. They never invented airplanes, or at least don't have a word for them. Weird," she comments in English.
"NO"
"Can the invader scum's robots fly?"
"NO - ONE KNOWN MODEL CAN JUMP UP TO FORTY-FIVE MRR"
"How effective are their robots at attacking airborne targets? Or any stationary weapons they might have still operational."
"THERE ARE NO AIRBORNE TARGETS"
Isabella tilts her head. "Huh. They never invented airplanes, or at least don't have a word for them. Weird," she comments in English.