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He is quiet for a moment. “I don’t really know anything about - parenting. I think it speaks poorly of you that you did this in the first place - not because it wouldn't have been worth it if it worked, but because it doesn't sound like the kind of plan that could possibly work and it does sound like the kind of plan that makes you a dedicated powerful enemy. 

But - it happened, supposedly, you’re trying to fix it, and I hope that works.

And I hope if it works in a way that gets you murdered then you have some kind of plan to not go to Hell.”

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"It would have to be a quite thorough murder, though I believe she's capable of thoroughness and better positioned to do it than almost anyone and I don't expect I'd get any more warning than I already have - 

- most murders would not leave me in Hell but that is not proof against arbitrary schemes aimed at that."

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"I'm not saying you should kill her first. That'd be - doubling down on an evil you don't endorse having committed and that's very infrequently the right thing to do.

But this is absolutely going to end horribly and we'll be lucky if she decides her grievance is only with you personally."

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"I'm sorry. I think it unlikely this was my intention."

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"Well as long as it was an accident."

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"Probably an accident."

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"Well, as long as it was probably an accident -

 

 

If you don't want to - turn into her - do you have a plan to avoid it?"

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"Not a new one this year, yet, or at least not one that's set and dried. Being more careful about not taking actions that set precedents for myself. Being more aware of this particular thing and less likely to drift into it gradually. I don't know if it'll be adequate because I don't know what went wrong then - maybe I'll summon you from Heaven twice a century to tell me if I'm fucking up. Not really fair to you, I know. Sorry.”

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“I’d be honored.”

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"The biggest problem I foresee is that I suspect Lilia may, at least until she decides to try to murder me instead, be trying to make me more like her mother."

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“I suppose that follows, if she thinks that her mother is just a more sophisticated and more correct version of you. I don’t really expect it to work. If you get eviller I’d kind of expect it to be - once we’re all dead -”

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"Or worse. But I don't see that being much of an impediment, I don't think she's going to be particularly interested in dying just because the rest of you have -"

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Marit considers this. “So your plan to turn out better than you did last time is to this time around have an immortal evil advisor who may or may not eventually betray and murder you.”

 

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"Yes."

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“This is why it was always going to be you and not Mathriel that made ninth circle.”

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"It may be a really stupid idea but it is no more than I owe her. Or - I am still very confused about how to conceptualize and relate to my duties towards her."

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“I don’t really know how I’d think about that either. In general one has an obligation to look after one’s children but - not forever. But also a related obligation to leave them competent to not need you forever.”

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"Oh, that part's not confusing at all, or at least not philosophically confusing. I'm not sure how to do that but it's clear enough that I - well it's clear enough that I feel I owe her that. But I don't know why or - 

I am treating her as my daughter, though I never bore her and never raised her and, hell, as far as I can tell she's older than me. I am treating her as someone I've horribly wronged, and she's certainly been horribly wronged, but I haven't done it - yet, or hopefully ever. And also she would ardently deny having been wronged, just as much as I'd deny that my parents wronged me in teaching me my letters.

Those are the things that confuse me."

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"I don't really think I have useful speculation on any of those questions. But -

- I think inasmuch as you wronged her, it's with - whatever decisions you have already made, to turn into an immortal evil wizard, because they always do things like this and you were obviously thereby wronging some distant future people even before it was contrived that we met one."

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"There was a time when I would have said that no, that did not seem logically necessary, immortality does not inevitably lead to atrocity - but you are right and I would have been wrong. Too clever and not wise enough."

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"Well, I wouldn't go that far, some things are possible even if you didn't succeed at them on the first try. ...and even if you predictably weren't going to succeed at them on the first try and most people only get one try.

 

I do think it probably can't be done alone."

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