"Yes, apart from that."

A deep, long-suffering sharpening noise. "Well, some people did make virtue gems for that - the Vaal, the Eternal Empire. Your little theocracy merely never had the chance to reach the requisite heights of decadence before you accidentally brought about the apocalypse."

...apocalypse. Nice. He'll ask later. "Okay so explanations. Tell me what's most mysterious about here? —and actually while you're at it can you kick those clothes over here, each of these lasts about ten minutes but I might as well multitask."

And despite not having soap or anything like that Zei rubs his bare hands against his skin and through his hair, and that does a better job of getting rid of the sweat and salt and sand than regular water would have any right to.

Edmund tosses the clothes over. "I'm pretty clear on how I got here, it was by tampering with forces with which man was not meant to interfere. And you've been very welcoming so far, so I'm not too worried about cultural taboos that will get me summarily executed. I'd love to know a bit more about the fucking giant monster, though."

Zei covers his eyes with a hand and rubs them with a finger and a thumb before letting out a sigh. "Right. Shiin." Another loanword. The mysterious understanding arrives in Edmund's head unbidden, a word that seems to both refer to the giant creature itself and to the concept of—fundamental wrong, as committed by people. He opens his eyes again, grabs his clothes, and starts scrubbing them under the water. "A thousand years ago, people got into a huge war that almost killed everyone. Then Shiin showed up and ended it pretty decisively by razing one of the sides of the war to the ground and very credibly looking like it was about to do the same to the other side. The side that got destroyed was a country named Zanarkand, and the other side is Bevelle. Lady Yunalesca, princess of Zanarkand, somehow managed to survive, and she came to Bevelle and taught people how to fight Shiin. We can now kill it, but only temporarily, at least until all peoples of the world have completely atoned for the sin of hubris and cleansed ourselves of it, after which point killing Shiin will be permanent. Or so she told us.

"I'm named after her husband, Zaon. As proof of concept both of them went and fought Shiin and killed it for the first time, and it was gone for ten years before it reappeared. The second time only happened four hundred years ago, the third two hundred and thirty years ago, the fourth a hundred years ago, and the fifth was my father's ten years ago."

"That's a very distressing pattern but I'm a little bit stuck on the concept of cleansing the peoples of the world of their sins because the last time someone in my world tried that it was a shitshow. Can I just - um."

Edmund gnaws on the knuckles of his right hand for a moment, then drags his palm down his face.

"You've been very polite about not asking me anything about myself but it is at this point that I am going to tell you my life story because it's seeming more and more likely to be relevant."

"By all means."

He has mostly gotten rid of all the grime—the sweat and salt and sand was making him want to claw his skin off, not that he would ever admit that in public, he has an image—and is now using the last few minutes of his magic sphere on his clothes.

"I was born in the city of Theopolis, capital of the Oriathan Empire. Second son of a minor noble. Our every need was tended by slaves, because to be an Oriathan noble without slaves would be like being - a city without buildings - it wouldn't make sense. The church taught that some people, the Karui, were made by God to be slaves and it was a kindness to them to guide them, and show them the way. I... disagreed. From the age of twelve to nineteen, I built up a network of like-minded individuals who smuggled slaves out of the Empire's reach and generally made slavers' lives harder. But my reach exceeded my grasp. I was caught inciting a revolt, and exiled to Wraeclast."

"Wraeclast is... a bad place. Most of its inhabitants are exiles, usually sent away for crimes worse than mine. And it's a place of wild magic. The dead rise to consume the living, the animals are vicious and diseased, the earth itself is barren and impossible to farm. Exile is a death sentence, and I knew it. But I was too stubborn to die. And I found Oni-Goroshi, who, well, inspired me to find a way out. I... more or less cut my way across the continent, cut down anyone in my way, seeking redemption. And along the way I killed... the Beast. It was - well - what I knew was that it was a thing of terrible power and that some utter bastards were going to harness that power and try to conquer the world. So I killed it, instead. And I found a way home, eventually - a portal, raised by a woman of great power from a bygone age."

"When I got there, it was chaos. My revolt had continued in my absence, and gone from escape if you can, kill the slavers to raze Theopolis, kill anyone who tries to stop you. I tried to end the rampage diplomatically, and the Karui leader said they'd leave in peace if I helped them kill the head of the church, who'd committed so many atrocities against them. I... wasn't opposed to this myself, so I did. But with my blade through his chest, he started to glow, and his body was possessed by - Innocence. The god he worshipped, the one I'd thought was just one more lie to keep the masses placated. He said he wanted to wipe the sin from everyone in the world, and he'd start with me."

"I slew Innocence too. I didn't have much choice, he was trying to kill me. Then his brother arrived. Sin. - I'm not unconscious of the homophone or the coincidence in the name's meaning, believe me. He told me that by destroying the Beast, I'd removed the seals holding the old gods back from returning and wreaking havoc on the world. And that, in fact, at this very moment, the Karui god of destruction, Kitava, had incarnated in Theopolis by the rage of the Karui slaves and was rampaging through the city."

"I faced Kitava alone. He..." Edmund swallows. Remembers facing the Destroyer. "He crushed me. Like a bug. And Sin rescued me at the last moment. Told me I needed to go back to Wraeclast, and reclaim the essence of the Beast, whatever I'd left of it."

How am I supposed to do that? Edmund had asked. I'm not - special. I've just got a bloody sword and no idea when to quit.

Sin had smiled grimly. It's not what you have. It's what you don't have anymore. And he'd tapped one shadowy finger to Edmund's chest. Kitava ate your heart. There's a hole in you, boy. And it wants to be filled.

"So I did," Edmund continues. "I went back to Wraeclast, and along the way I... encountered some gods. Old gods, gods that hadn't been worshipped in centuries and were starving for power. I... killed them. Because they were doing terrible things, to the world and the people around them. And... I drank from their essence. I filled the hole in my heart with divine power. And. They stayed dead. Gods aren't supposed to die, not really, but I didn't leave enough of them to come back. I took the essence of the Beast into myself as well. And I went back to Theopolis, and with the help of Sin and Innocence, I destroyed Kitava for good."

"My help also," Oni-Goroshi mutters. "You barely mentioned me once in that entire lengthy, overwrought story. I was there the whole time!"

Pat pat. "Sorry, Goddess. I'll try to work you in next time."

(The shower sphere has run out, by then. But rather than falling down or going dull or anything like that, it dissipated into wisps very similar to the ones from the ritual earlier, if smaller and less bright. The water, too, entirely disappeared when that happened, leaving Zei and his clothes perfectly dry and clean.)

Zei is leaning against a wall, listening to the story with something between incredulity and awe between his eyebrows. When the story is done he's quiet for a couple of seconds, but then he says, "Okay so before I engage with any of that, do you want to take a shower? Just lift, squeeze, and wish," gesturing at the spheres. He grabs his clothes and folds them over an arm, then he walks over to one of the beds, to sit cross-legged there. The room is not so big that this really precludes a conversation.

"Sure, I could wash off."

Edmund strips and starts the process. Hot water raining down on him appears to be an unfamiliar but not unpleasant sensation, and after a little while luxuriating in it he starts scrubbing.

The water almost feels like water, except for how it somehow makes dirt just—come off, like soap but better.

"So, uh... everything you just said sounds like fiction. And, like... one, magic talking swords are fiction, too, no slight intended. And two, assuming everything you said is true, you could be the most important thing that's happened to this planet in the last thousand years. So please bear with me while I try to... wrap my head around everything I've ever known not being quite true."

Edmund shrugs. "I suppose I just don't have enough context about how magic here works to disbelieve your end of things. Language spells aren't something that makes sense, but... people getting into massively destructive wars and apocalypse monsters are pretty familiar."

"Magic is... pyreflies," he says, gesturing at the shower sphere Edmund is using. And more specifically, the top of it, which is emanating tiny marble-sized wisps. "Here, I mean. There's a bunch of theory, I said I've never done science to it but other people have and it's probably not my best suit, really, I'd never be able to actually contribute. I've just read about it as a guilty pleasure." He shrugs with a sheepish grin. "Pyreflies get attached to emotions and people, and we can shape them in turn, into spells or into those spheres. So I think languages have relevant boundaries because people think they do, and that's enough."

"That's... remarkably cute."

"Magic where we're from interacts with belief, but mostly in the sense that belief is a potential source of power. Magic proper is - rigorously defining the effect you want to see, then channeling power into it until it happens. Usually, in the modern day, through the medium of virtue gems." One of the six large gems set into her hilt glows. "I'm set with six linked gems, each of which enhances my wielder's ability to fight with me. His magical energy fuels them. I doubt you could lift me, even if I were inclined to cooperate; I'd drain too much from you just sustaining the gems."

"I guess you could say the pyreflies are also just interacting with beliefs," he says, swaying back and forth on the bed, one hand on each knee, "but pyreflies that aren't being magic just kind of... don't do anything. Look pretty, I guess."

"Hmm. But - when you healed Edmund, what did you do? Just - believe that he should be healed?"

"...yes and no. Spells are discrete, but we make them out of believing in them? Or more like feeling very strongly about them. I made that healing spell out of feeling very strongly about people's health. Years ago, to be clear, not on the spot, it's just a thing I can do now. And the way I use the spell is by invoking that same feeling and then sort of... pushing it out."

"Hm. I suppose if it works, it works."

"It sounds rather nice, actually. No magic unless you really believe in what you're doing... I suppose it still leaves room for atrocities of faith."

Zei grimaces. "Yeah. Also the correspondence is not direct, Lulu can set you on fire and I'm pretty sure it's not because she feels very strongly about setting people on fire. ...pretty sure."

"Well. I suppose if it sounds too good to be true it usually is."

"Not that setting people on fire can't occasionally be reasonable," Oni-Goroshi says primly.