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"Today is a glorious day in the history of the Scholomance."
celebrating nie huaisang's first moonshine
Aaaaaughhh.
"- I tried to think of it but I couldn't!"
Masozi is pretty sure that he COULD figure it out if he weren't DRUNK, however.
"...If I fight you and win will you tell me the answer."
counting-is-impossible
"NO fight Wei Ying!" he says in English, enunciating clearly so he can be understood.
.......Apparently he is missing even more context than he realized?
Oh no, Lan Wangji doesn't speak English and so he...needs to say things in Mandarin...?
He doesn't actually know the word for 'fight' in Mandarin?
He does know the words for 'learn' and 'work' and 'you'. And so he can....probably say most of an entire sentence, if he includes some miming by lifting his fists? About how he would be delighted to fight anyone including Lan Wangji?
counting-is-impossible
Lan Wangji has NO idea what is going on! Is Masozi threatening Wei Ying? Lan Wangji will FIGHT him.
Masozi can't threaten anyone if he has been PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH.
........Ooooh a FIGHT!
Masozi is totally capable of wiggling just far enough out of the way that the obviously-telegraphed punch toward his stomach doesn't hit too hard!
And then he can follow that momentum and twist around and - fling his hand to gouge out Lan Wanjgi's eye no he shouldn't actually kill or disable anyone here they're his FRIENDS He can redirect his hand to the back of Lan Wangji's neck and dig VERY HARD into the pressure point his mother taught him about -
- and then see what happens, he's never actually had an opportunity to try this for real before...
counting-is-impossible
Lan Wangji will do what Wei Ying tells him-- owwww that really hurts but Lan Wangji has practiced for years to keep his form no matter how much it hurts-- he's going to grab Masozi and flip him onto the ground--
Masozi weighs much less and will totally be flipped!
- he can try to use that momentum to twist around and dig his toe into Lan Wangji's butt? Which is a move he remembers practicing with his– mother? sister? damn it he can't remember nevermind he can think about that LATER -
- ok he's definitely flat on his back on the ground which is a vulnerable position and he's GOING TO DIE no he's still with his friends and this is for fun–
He remembers what his mother taught him, and wriggles under Lan Wangji's weight - no he definitely isn't strong enough to knee him in the groin - but he can probably manage to sneak his arm under and grab/squeeze/tickle him there??
counting-is-impossible
Ack! What is happening to him! That is not a place that is supposed to be touched!
On instinct he punches Masozi in the chest, once twice three times--
Ouch! This is someone who slightly knows how to fight maybe?
Also he's really strong?
...that's really attractive, honestly?
Also Lan Wangji's face is RIGHT THERE.
Masozi.....is apparently going to be trying to kiss him now...?
(Why is he doing this? He's not sure.)
- oh no is kissing banned? Unfair!
(Masozi barely notices the punch.)
...He can bite Lan Wangji's shoulder REALLY HARD instead.
counting-is-impossible
No!!! He is moving away from Masozi because more KISSING might happen!!!!
He is going to hide behind Wei Ying and let Wei Ying protect him from the kissing.
Aaaaaaah?
Masozi disentangles himself and sits up. "I - I'm sorry - was that breaking the fighting rules?"
....Oh, is the rule that he can only kiss Wei Wuxian? Because he can totally do that!!!!
(While also digging his nails really hard into Lan Wangji's armpit, since apparently his butt is impervious to pain??)
counting-is-impossible
Lan Wangji shoves him hard away from Wei Ying, hard enough that his head clunks into Wen Ning's bed.
"NO you kiss Wei Ying! I kiss Wei Ying!"