"I think it can help me with seeming like that.  If that's what you want.  ........In the spirit of being robust to truth spells I don't think it will make me.  Feel.  Better."

"Well you should definitely feel at least a little bit bad. What the fuck were you thinking anyway."

"Um, that, it wasn't very likely that you would immediately want to use the spell... but that a sure thing that I would hurt you and wreck our—connection—was worth the one-in-a-thousand, or one-in-ten-thousand, that... you would.  ..........It's kind of like that Kite's Attending bit I recited."

"...a one-in-ten-thousand chance that I would use a spell you would not need to inform me the purpose of beyond saying that it was awful, including the chance that I'd be able to even find said spell without having the faintest idea that spells were findable...?"

"...No," he says in a small voice.  "You'd have had to write out the copies and destroy them.  You'd still need the prerequisite spell for the stones, but I'm not actually confident I have the bad one memorized to perfect character accuracy.  I'd have needed to check against the book, somehow.  And you might have noticed."

"No, just go, 'hey Jake there's this spell I need to destroy, it's really bad, I can't tell you how bad, I need to possess you for a couple of hours, can I do that?'"

"But what if you said no?  And it cost the world a few continents because it took me that long to find a second person to kill?  And what if I couldn't convince him?"

"If you'd waited like at most a week it'd have been really obvious I wouldn't say no. Hell, I think if you'd waited a day I'd have suggested you possessing me so we could start working on your orgasm thing, it was like at the tip of my tongue I think. I guess I didn't know it was possible for sure but I thought it probably was?"

"Well.  We already knew I was a stupid and evil person, is that what you want me to say?"

"...no. You just did something you thought had a real chance of destroying the first human relationship you had in thirty years for the sake of uncountable strangers because it was that important, how could you be evil?"

"You could have been hurt a lot more by the possession than you, uh.  Seem to have been."

"I mean don't get me wrong I'm really mad at you and I was terrified at first and it felt horrible. But. Still would've been worth it, probably. Still does not make you evil."

"Quiet acquiescence."  He sighs.  "Did you punch me to punch me or so that I would be punched?"

"I punched you because I was mad and it was going to keep bothering me how mad I was until I did something about it and now that I did something about it I can tell my being mad that I already punched you about it."

Nod.  "......Your being mad should know that it's really noticeable how much less I can feel things right now.  And that if it really wants me to, to feel one, then it should try again when I'm more adjusted.  Or just build it up over multiple."

"Well it hurt my knuckles and I don't want to repeat the experience if it's not necessary. ...why can you lie on the bed but not have the cover stay over you. This is really stupid."

"I'm not holding up the bed."

"That's not how being solid works! Why is gravity special, why would 'holding up' be a special thing for magic, it's just, like, forces between objects. Actually it's literally just, like, electrostatic repulsion, isn't it?"

"....My physics education was thirty years ago."

"Well. It is. There's no difference between you holding something up and something holding you up and this bed cover should start behaving in a way that makes sense instead of a way that doesn't." Sigh.

"What is going to make you feel better?"

"If I felt like I could pay you back, somehow.  Like, Lord Ghenera killed his brother, and he says it's his sacrifice too, but—it isn't, really—but for me it could be—"

"...that all? Fine, then, you're gonna be my pet ghost until you decide that you've done enough for me to pay me back, how about that."

"...Yes, sir."

"Okay that does actually sound kinda hot to be on the other end of, too."