"--People in Shanghai enclave don't have straight relationships."

"Huh. My father tells us that if you give presents in the Scholomance it means you are dating."

"I understand that people have sometimes gotten confused about this!"

"So it's still like that for the Asian kids?"

"I mean, you're not going to give things away for free. --Unless you're Yanli who's too nice for her own good."

"Why does the enclave allow her?"

"Unfortunately, she's been too nice for her own good her entire life, and we all grew up with her, so we love her."

"Awwwwww."

"So, you're an indie?"

"What gave me away?"

"Not being an enclaver? Unless there's a third option."

"Space alien!" she proposes.

"Well, you have a human forehead."

"Maybe I am hiding a tail. Maybe I am under illusions."

"That's going to cost you a lot of mana!"

"Maybe my space alien parents beamed me in with an artifice that makes me look human at all the time."

"I think your space alien parents should have beamed you in to a different planet with fewer mals!"

"Our planet was worse!" she suggests. "Planet made entirely of mals. Like science fiction ice planets and desert planets but just mals."

He half-covers his face with his fan. "You must feel so safe here!"

"I could just fall asleep right here," she chirps, putting her beans and weiners in her bag. "Also probably can grow back a foot or something if a mal eats it. Advantages of space aliens."

"You could get a couple extra feet. Could maybe help you run faster."

"Haven't enough shoes," she sighs tragically. "What is your name? I'm called Nia."

"Nie Huaisang but I don't mind if English speakers butcher it."

"Nyeh Why-song?"

"Eh. Close enough."