Annaka leaves.
...Masozi watches her go, dully, still sitting on his bed. He notices, vaguely, that he seems to be shaking again and that his chest still feels tight and locked-up. It doesn't seem very important, though.
What is he supposed to do now? Is he still a prisoner under guard?
Masozi looks pleadingly over at Lan Xichen.
"Do you think it would help, if I - explained to Annaka that I didn't know that before, and now I do, and so I understand why I have to promise I won't malefice ever again, even if doing it one time so more people survived graduation would be a good trade by itself. Because it's not just that one trade by itself. It's - everything - it's all the ripples - I, I didn't know, I didn't have words for that before...?"
"It seems unlikely to hurt but she maybe thinks I coach you?"
"....I guess it's true that you did? You showed me how to see it. I - I think I might've figured it out on my own, I was - trying to - but I didn't know what I was trying to and it...would've taken a long time." And he hadn't had a long time to spare.
"I think you believe it now but she thinks maybe I tell you to say it to make her feel better."
"Because she doesn't trust me to mean what I say, and so I - I can't even say the thing about why I mean what I say?" That seems like a very unfair quandary.
"Yes! It is very frustrating. She doesn't believe things I say either. It makes sense for her to think this but it is still inconvenient. We are trustworthy over long period of time and she trusts us in future."
It helps, that Lan Xichen agrees that this is frustrating, and still thinks this is the best way. Masozi doesn't feel safe, exactly, but he at least feels...not alone.
"I have to talk to Annaka, but I think Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are here soon."
"I send Meng Yao to get them so you don't have to be alone tonight. --You can if you want to but if it is better to have distraction you don't have to organize it yourself."
"So you aren't sad"-- this is Masozi-- "in a way that doesn't advance goals."
"Oh." Masozi frowns. "I - think I'm okay now, mostly? And I - it seems important to - not be distracted, so I can think about what I did wrong before when I didn't under the thing about what's stable. But if you think it's more helpful to be distracted then I guess?"
A voice comes from outside the door. "Hello! Get back to your boring politics stuff, Xichen, we have a party! A 'congrats on the not dying' party! --Wow, if I throw a party every time someone doesn't die I'm going to have a party every week."
Masozi blinks, and doesn't move. He does find that he's looking forward to seeing Wei Wuxian again, at least.
"There he is." He squeezes Masozi's hand. "I talk to you tomorrow."
Then he stands up and lets Wei Wuxian in.
Wei Wuxian is accompanied by Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Lan Wangji. "I brought you math books because I asked myself, what is the coolest kind of party, and obviously it's a math party, right? And you're a cool person with great taste so you'd definitely agree. So we went and hit the entire library until it would get you some recreational math books. And then we talked to Nie Huaisang and he said you liked candy and Jiang Yanli has a food affinity so we all went down to the lab and guarded her while she made some candy! It's half magic but it'll fill you up."
Math books!!!
...This still seems weird, though. Masozi stands up from the bed as well. "- Why are we having a party because I did something stupid and almost caused a war?"
"Well, you're sad and need cheering up, aren't you? --How do you live like this, Masozi. It smells like shit. We're never having a party in your room again."
"I had a box of shit for my dung beetles. It doesn't bother me. ....I think New York might've taken them, though?" He had not exactly been in a good state to pay close attention, at the time. "You could - are there any spells for making it smell less, now?"
"I don't know any but I'm going to ask the void when I get home. --I'm sorry we don't have booze, I asked Nie Huaisang and he was like 'fermentation takes time' and I was like 'a-Sang, this is an emergency! we need emergency booze' and he was like 'that is not how chemistry works' and I said 'you're a wizard! what's the point of being a wizard if you can't make emergency booze?' and he said 'do you really think that Shanghai enclave wants me to use our precious mana so you can get drunk' and I was like 'okay so do more yoga I don't see what the problem is here' and he was like 'no. I am going to go draw a bird, fuck off.'"
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