"Masozi, I'm so sorry. I hope you forgive me."

That's very confusing. It doesn't feel like there's a thought to have in response to it, much less anything to say, that would be meaningfully true or false? 

He looks down at his hands. Forces out words, with great effort. "It would - be more strategic - for Shanghai. If I weren't your ally." 

"But I make promise, so I keep promise. Maybe it is better if I don't make promise before, but I do. So I keep it."

Something is wrong about that, but thinking through it, let alone turning the thought into words, is way too hard with the truth potion still affecting him. Masozi just shakes his head, helplessly.

He has no idea what it would even...mean...to forgive Lan Xichen? He's not angry. What would be the point. (Also, he is still mostly not experiencing emotions. He's just shaking, which is sort of like being afraid, but his mind has been so overloaded with fear in the last few minutes that it's almost stopped parsing.) 

"...do you want hug? I don't want to offer, if you--"

Wanting is also a feeling that his brain is no longer really parsing. "I don't know." 

"It wear off soon," he says gently. He sits next to Masozi and wraps an arm gently around his shoulder. "Move away if you want to."

...He doesn't think he wants to move away?

He thinks that probably he wants to lean against Lan Xichen, actually, because he's very tired. His shoulders and neck hurt from holding himself tense. 

"Tell me when it has worn off," he says gently again, and holds Masozi close.

When it wears off, it does so gradually over a minute. It…feels like the horizon opening again. He can see past just what’s true or not-true here and now. To a future that…might, actually, exist for him. 

He wants to see the stars again. He hadn’t felt claustrophobic in the Scholomance before, but he does now.

…….and suddenly he’s crying, again, and he would be screaming if he could get enough air into his lungs. 

Something hurts, in a way that nothing, exactly, has ever hurt before, and he has no words for it but it drives out all thought. 

He murmurs soothing syllables and cradles Masozi in his arms. After a while he starts to sing softly in Mandarin. (He has a very beautiful voice.)

It takes an indeterminate length of time before Masozi is able to keep himself at the surface of the mysterious agonizing misery enough to think, and remember where he is. 

“I - sorry - it wore off.” It does not exactly seem like he’s any more able to think clearly.

"I guess," Lan Xichen says quietly. "My mom sings this song to me when I am little."

“…What does it mean. The words.”

Masozi’s mother didn’t sing very often. He’s forgotten the words to everything she used to sing.

"Something like--

The moon is bright, the wind is quiet,
The tree leaves hang over the window.
My little baby, go to sleep quickly,
Sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.

The moon is bright, the wind is quiet,
The cradle moves softly.
My little one, close your eyes,
Sleep, sleep, dreaming sweet dreams."

Everything hurts so much. 

“I want to see the stars again. I - don’t know - how to be better at plans that work here? …And I don’t want you to try to save me if it’s going to make there be a war. Because then - even more people will be dead - like Sophie, Sophie’s dead…”

"No war. We think a maleficer frames you to provoke war between New York and Shanghai. New York doesn't like us but they dislike this maleficer more and don't want to let them win."

“But there was almost a war. It was - I know it was close.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, wrestling with an emotion that feels darker and muddier than grief. “…I wish you hadn’t promised.”

Masozi didn’t realize until the words were out that this is what he’s been thinking, and it’s the part that hurts the most, even more than a dead girl who made him clothes and was kind to him. 

He could say it wasn't that close or really, the almost-war was all my fault, but that isn't the point. Instead, he says, "yes. It's horrible."

“…I think maybe Shanghai trying to keep me safe isn’t the thing that will keep the most people safe. Because New York is mad and I - I don’t understand why they want me dead by they do, and that’s -“ Shudder. “Makes it not a very good idea for me to be the one trying to keep Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning safe. Maybe just makes New York want them dead too…”

"--But you're Shanghai's now so we keep you safe too."

“I’m not, though. You can’t - make it be true just by saying it. New York doesn’t think I’m really one of you. I could tell.”

"In politics you make things true by insisting on them hard enough that they become true. Kind of like magic, in a way."

“- I think if it’s going to cost you and Shanghai more than what I can give back, then I’m not a good investment and…I wish you wouldn’t. If it makes things worse instead of better and I - if it’s too late for me to fix that…”

"I think this is discussion we have after you have sleep and several days of good meals and no one trying to kill you."

“- I think people might keep trying to kill me. Whoever that other enclave was, they seemed mad.”

"You stay in room and study Mandarin, which you need more immediately than shop class anyway. Meng Yao tell Wei Wuxian 'oh, if only you could do both Masozi's and your own homework, I don't think you're able to do it, we have to trade someone for it, is your English even good enough to do classes in English' and he says 'how DARE you' and now I don't think you can keep him from doing your homework if you try. It is good for Shanghai. Keeps him out of trouble."

That sounds costly and this is, again, very upsetting. Masozi doesn’t even really understand why he’s so upset about this! It should feel good and reassuring that Lan Xichen is still committed to helping him even after everything. 

It doesn’t. For some reason, it feels cold and lonely instead, even though that doesn’t make sense. 

He doesn’t have words for what he’s feeling, but some of it does show up on his face.

"--I haven't ever really seen the stars," Lan Xichen says quietly.

"....How? I didn't know there were any places where you couldn't see stars." 

"If there's too much light at night in city it drowns out the stars. It's just black. And I spend most of childhood in enclave which has no sky at all."

Masozi closes his eyes. 

"...I wish you could see the sky by Lake Malawi. It's so dark - if you go swim out in the water it feels like there's not even a world. Just stars." 

"You show me someday maybe."

"....Maybe. I - I have to get better at things. If I want to not die. I have to - not be a sort of person who New York wouldn't trust to - to know that I won't ever think killing people is okay? I - I had the wrong thoughts and said the wrong things and I don't know what was wrong about it but I have to be different." 

"It is useful to be able to make promises people know you will keep."

"The girl from New York. ...She wanted me to promise I wouldn't use malia again no matter what, right? Even if it were - if I could trade one rat to get Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang out at graduation. I - don't know if that's a promise that would be a good idea to make. And - part of making promises you keep is thinking about it, and checking if it's a good idea or if it'll just..." 

He trails off.

"I think if you are indie and use one rat to get Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang out because they are your friends and allies, that is right thing to do. But Shanghai is powerful. If we have maleficer, no one believes we stop at one rat and only when it is important."

"But a war would be bad for you too! It's not - you don't have reasons to - not stop at one rat one time in the only in the graduation hall? It wouldn't help, it would just kill a lot of people." 

"But if we have maleficer, then New York might lose war. Maleficers are powerful. And if Shanghai wins war it is good for Shanghai maybe. Less competition. And certainly war is less costly if you are more powerful and take fewer casualties. And so New York has to get its own maleficer so they don't lose to us, and then Beijing and Kyoto and Mumbai and London want maleficer too. It is stable if no one has maleficer and stable if everyone has maleficer, not in between. And if we say 'we have maleficer but only for special situation' then New York asks itself 'is this true, or is Shanghai just trying to trick us so we don't get maleficer and it can win war,' and you see today that New York does not give Shanghai benefit of doubt. So even if no one wants maleficer everyone can wind up with maleficer because they can't communicate in credible way."

That way of laying it out...does make something click, that didn't before. 

"Oh! So - there's two different ways it can be stable, with Shanghai and New York both being - about the same amount of powerful? And - it's hard for people to believe promises that someone will use malia from mice very carefully but not murder anyone? Because of the thing where it causes brain damage and makes you think murder is fine? And so you have to just...not. Even if making that promise would be a bad plan if New York and Shanghai could just trust each other to both not want a war, but - they don't - so that makes it the only plan that makes things be stable this way?"

He feels like he's doing a bad job of explaining his thoughts, but there's a kernel there that makes SENSE, it holds together, and he really wishes Annaka could have just SAID that before. Except he might not have been able to see it under truth potion. It's too big. 

"Yes, exactly!" He's so proud. "And-- thing that matters is predictability. Pisa is all maleficers and is okay because everyone knows what Pisa does and that they don't start wars and don't kill people. But no one knows what Shanghai does with maleficer, so it changes balance." 

Masozi frowns, thinking hard. 

"- That makes sense? I - it didn't before, because - I think you need everyone to know that the important people keep their promises? ...I don't think anyone really thinks that important people in Malawi keep their promises. Or that it's going to be - predictable, what they hurt you for. I..." A breath, almost of awe. "...It's beautiful? That there can be anywhere in the world where people do think that?" 

"Confucius says-- first you put your own mind right, then you put your family right, then you put your enclave right, then you put country right." It's a loose translation. "It grows." He traces an expanding circle on the back of Masozi's hand. "You make small place where people are predictable in right way and keep promises, where inferiors obey superiors and superiors are generous to inferiors, and it has many effects you cannot see. Like stone dropped into pond. And if enough people set their own place right, whole world becomes right."

That’s beautiful as well.

“Is that what you’re trying to do here? With Shanghai, and…being good…?” That’s not quite the right word but he can’t find a better one.

"Yes."

It’s the first time that the thing someone else is trying to accomplish has made sense to Masozi - not just in an acting-strategically way, but - someone actually trying to make there be fewer stupid horrible problems in the world. And it…fits, now. That it would have to be in this odd indirect way that means keeping your promises and being predictable to others and sometimes NOT using every resource at your disposal to solve the problems near you right now.

Even putting your family and your enclave first, it’s - it’s not that the other people don’t matter, it’s that the world is huge and strange (and beautiful and broken and so many contradictory things at once) and if you try to fix everything in sight, then it frightens people, and - then you're not in the stable place anymore - and because everything is so big, you can just do the math, and see that obviously it matters more for New York and Shanghai not to start escalating to the worse equilibrium where everyone has a maleficer, than the single question of whether Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning survive and whether trading their lives for one rat is worth it in isolation.

And...it matters that he be able to make that promise now, even knowing so little about the details to judge whether or not maleficing would be worth it in isolation. Because....he's not in isolation. Not anymore.  

“I want to help you.”

...And - he wants Lan Xichen to touch him again? His skin still tingles where Lan Xichen drew the expanding circle. 

(This is a weird and puzzling thing to want?) 

He reaches out, though, and takes Lan Xichen's hand, because that feels appropriate for declaring alliance. 

"We stay alive now. Later, we fix things. Shanghai already sponsors new enclaves in Sinosphere so more people can grow up safe. Maybe we build new Scholomance, so there are more spots, so more indies can get a place-- Sinos and Indians and Middle Easterners and Africans--"

"That makes sense." Masozi leans his head on Lan Xichen's shoulder. He's not sure what he's feeling, right now, except that it's the most hopeful he's ever felt in his life. "...And I go back for my sister first? If I - survive graduation. Because - you take care of yourself first and then your family, before you take care of the world, that's - the way to make a stable good thing close to you, and you have to do that before you can make a stable good thing everywhere?" 

"Yes. Family is important. Older sibling takes care of younger sibling, it is one of five fundamental relationships of society."

"Do you think it would help, if I - explained to Annaka that I didn't know that before, and now I do, and so I understand why I have to promise I won't malefice ever again, even if doing it one time so more people survived graduation would be a good trade by itself. Because it's not just that one trade by itself. It's - everything - it's all the ripples - I, I didn't know, I didn't have words for that before...?" 

"It seems unlikely to hurt but she maybe thinks I coach you?"

"....I guess it's true that you did? You showed me how to see it. I - I think I might've figured it out on my own, I was - trying to - but I didn't know what I was trying to and it...would've taken a long time." And he hadn't had a long time to spare. 

"I think you believe it now but she thinks maybe I tell you to say it to make her feel better."

"Because she doesn't trust me to mean what I say, and so I - I can't even say the thing about why I mean what I say?" That seems like a very unfair quandary. 

"Yes! It is very frustrating. She doesn't believe things I say either. It makes sense for her to think this but it is still inconvenient. We are trustworthy over long period of time and she trusts us in future."

It helps, that Lan Xichen agrees that this is frustrating, and still thinks this is the best way. Masozi doesn't feel safe, exactly, but he at least feels...not alone. 

"I have to talk to Annaka, but I think Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are here soon."

"Oh? For - what? Am I still being guarded here?" 

"I send Meng Yao to get them so you don't have to be alone tonight. --You can if you want to but if it is better to have distraction you don't have to organize it yourself."

"...Is it? Better for what?" 

"So you aren't sad"-- this is Masozi-- "in a way that doesn't advance goals."

"Oh." Masozi frowns. "I - think I'm okay now, mostly? And I - it seems important to - not be distracted, so I can think about what I did wrong before when I didn't under the thing about what's stable. But if you think it's more helpful to be distracted then I guess?" 

"I don't know if--"

A voice comes from outside the door. "Hello! Get back to your boring politics stuff, Xichen, we have a party! A 'congrats on the not dying' party! --Wow, if I throw a party every time someone doesn't die I'm going to have a party every week."

Masozi blinks, and doesn't move. He does find that he's looking forward to seeing Wei Wuxian again, at least. 

"There he is." He squeezes Masozi's hand. "I talk to you tomorrow."

Then he stands up and lets Wei Wuxian in.

Wei Wuxian is accompanied by Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Lan Wangji. "I brought you math books because I asked myself, what is the coolest kind of party, and obviously it's a math party, right? And you're a cool person with great taste so you'd definitely agree. So we went and hit the entire library until it would get you some recreational math books. And then we talked to Nie Huaisang and he said you liked candy and Jiang Yanli has a food affinity so we all went down to the lab and guarded her while she made some candy! It's half magic but it'll fill you up."

Math books!!! 

...This still seems weird, though. Masozi stands up from the bed as well. "- Why are we having a party because I did something stupid and almost caused a war?" 

Lan Xichen smiles to himself and leaves.

"Well, you're sad and need cheering up, aren't you? --How do you live like this, Masozi. It smells like shit. We're never having a party in your room again."

"I had a box of shit for my dung beetles. It doesn't bother me. ....I think New York might've taken them, though?" He had not exactly been in a good state to pay close attention, at the time. "You could - are there any spells for making it smell less, now?" 

"I don't know any but I'm going to ask the void when I get home. --I'm sorry we don't have booze, I asked Nie Huaisang and he was like 'fermentation takes time' and I was like 'a-Sang, this is an emergency! we need emergency booze' and he was like 'that is not how chemistry works' and I said 'you're a wizard! what's the point of being a wizard if you can't make emergency booze?' and he said 'do you really think that Shanghai enclave wants me to use our precious mana so you can get drunk' and I was like 'okay so do more yoga I don't see what the problem is here' and he was like 'no. I am going to go draw a bird, fuck off.'"

"- Doesn't getting drunk make you stupider?" Masozi says, puzzled. 

"Yeah! It's great."

"That doesn't sound very good for doing math, though." 

"No, actually, drunk math is the best math. Ask anyone."

Masozi is kind of dubious! But for now it sounds like they don't have alcohol anyway, and the easiest thing to do is to go along with what Wei Wuxian wants to do. 

"So everyone else here is, like, spell-competent in English, so it's gonna be you and me in English and Yanli and Jiang Cheng talking in Mandarin and Lan Zhan refusing to talk at all. Don't worry, they are definitely gossiping about you behind your back about how terrible your haircut is."

"Pleased to meet you," Yanli says slowly, as if she memorized the sounds.

"Pleased to meet you." To Wei Wuxian, "- I need to learn Mandarin. Can you say the things they say in English after they say them, I think that would help me recognize the words better." 

"Yep! Sounds good. And no editorializing, I promise." To Jiang Cheng: "I'm going to be translating between you guys and Masozi." 

"Correctly."

"Jeez, it's like no one trusts me." 

(He translates this exchange to Masozi.)

Lang Wangji is convenient to listen to for these purposes! Since he doesn't say very many words at once! Masozi repeats the word he said under his breath. 

And then waits to see if Wei Wuxian is going to start a conversation, because despite his earlier assurances, it turns out that he is still feeling very shaken, and incredibly exhausted. 

He says, in Mandarin and then English: "Here's shijie's candy! You can have any opinion on it you want but remember that if you don't like it you won't need Annaka to murder you." 

"A-Xian!"

"That means she's going to kill me."

"It do not!" Jiang Cheng says in heavily accented English, and then remembers himself and repeats himself in Mandarin.

"Okay, fine, it means 'Wei Wuxian but I love you.'"

...This is probably supposed to be funny? Masozi is confused. He smiles at Jiang Cheng, though, and carefully repeats the Mandarin under his breath, and then he'll try Yanli's candy! 

Yanli's candy is in fact very good; it's sweet and it sort of melts in your mouth.

....Honestly it's very weird how much less sad and exhausted this makes him feel? 

He starts to say 'it's very good', and then instead digs out his notebook which is already almost filled with notes on Mandarin characters and pronunciations, and hunts through it, and then tries to say 'it's good' although, he is guessing, probably not very grammatically. 

"Oh, Masozi, that's excellent."

Masozi beams at him. And then flips around to try to figure out what other things he can say in Mandarin. 

- he can say that he's happy, apparently, he knows the words for that. It's not uncomplicatedly true but it is, in fact, mostly true, and he doesn't know the words to say the more complicated version, so he says the simple version instead. 

Yanli beams at him, with an effect something like stepping from a smoky room into the warmth of the sun.

"He's going to need a name."

His sister used to smile almost exactly like that. (Well, accounting for the very different ethnicities and features.) Not the baby one, the sister who was a bit older than him. She died when he was seven or eight, he thinks. 

- he doesn't want to be crying, but apparently his emotions are still very all over the place, today. 

Does Masozi have some kind of name-related trauma. He changes the subject immediately.

"We got you books about math from the library. I think nonmagical ones but you'll still have to be nice to them or they'll wander off." He pats the logic puzzle book. "You're so good at building mana. Masozi's going to love you."

Yanli sits near Masozi and gestures like he can have a hug if he wants it.

...Yeah, he would like a hug. Hugs are, in fact, comforting, and especially so when they're from people who repeatedly put credible efforts into keeping him alive. 

"I see?" he tries to ask in Mandarin, again he has no idea of the appropriate grammar here but 'see' is one of the ten or so words he actually has mostly-memorized. He switches back to English, though. "- sorry how do you say 'book'?" 

"Book," he enunciates.

"I see book." Pause, then in English, "was that a question? How do I make it a question in Mandarin?" 

Lan Wangji provides the translation.

Masozi repeats it very carefully. He grins about it again. And then writes down his approximation of it phonetically in his notebook, because he expects that to be a sentence he might use rather a lot. 

Jiang Cheng hands it over. "Be careful with it! We went through half the library to find it for you."

"It's logic puzzles." And Wei Wuxian explains the concept of a grid logic puzzle.

This is the BEST! 

Masozi gives the book several compliments on being the BEST MATH BOOK, and then stares very intently at one of the puzzles and starts working on solving it. This kind doesn't involve much of the math notation or concepts he's unfamiliar with, and it clicks for him very fast. 

"We got you some food, too, we figured you wouldn't want to go to the cafeteria with"-- he gestures.

Masozi isn't sure what he's gesturing at, and he's confused? 

"I can go to the cafeteria? I'm not hurt." 

"Everyone's going to be staring at you and whispering and if you can't think of yourself think of poor Jiang Cheng."

"They shouldn't! None of this is your fault!"

"Or rather poor Lan Xichen when he stomps up to Beijing and asks them if they'd like to have a conversation with Zidian."

That...doesn't seem like an obvious reason to not go to the cafeteria? It's not like he would even notice, if he's not staring back, which - why would he? 

"- Does it bother you if people stare at me?" he asks Jiang Cheng, confusedly. 

"Yes! Because they're cunts!"

"...I'm not sure I think they did something wrong? I - they were scared of me, because I - didn't know what to be careful of, here, and I - made it look like I was the sort of person who'd hurt people even though I'm not? But I don't think it was bad of them to be scared and to - try to keep their people safe...?" 

"Well, you aren't going to hurt them! The only person who might have died here is you!"

"But they didn't just kill me! They were - being careful - trying to figure out what was true - they asked a dozen people what they'd seen me do! And I - think it makes sense? I didn't know what the rules were or that New York was important, so I was rude to them, and someone being rude to them is scary because it - means they also might break the other rules too -" 

"Well, I won't threaten New York, but most of the Anglos didn't do shit. They're just vultures."

Shrug. "I - please don't threaten anyone because of me? ...I guess maybe we should eat here then and not the cafeteria." 

She pats Masozi's hand. "a-Cheng can avoid it if you ask him nicely but we should really avoid the temptation."

"People shouldn't call you a maleficer like they wouldn't have pulled malia from a rat in your shoes!"

"But...it matters, right? That I - was in that situation, and they weren't. Because it's - it gives you brain damage, and it's supposed to be addictive and, and make it so you can't use normal mana, and it's - I don't know why it didn't do that for me! I'm not even a little bit tempted to do more of it and I think I can get mana and use it fine. But it's - not stupid of them, that they'd be scared I would be addicted and that it'd be hard to stop?" 

"No, actually, it is stupid of them and you should be pissed off when people are trying to kill you for no reason!"

"a-Cheng, Masozi, let's talk about something nicer. You could show him your other math book."

"Yeah! This one is called Calculus for Everyone, it's supposed to teach you calculus without you having to know any other math first."

Masozi bounces. “Oh! What’s calculus?”

"Well, did you know that you can't actually walk anywhere?"

“…That doesn’t seem like how math works.”

"Think about it! Before you cross the room, you have to cross half the room. And before you cross half the room, you have to cross a quarter of the room. And before you cross a quarter of the room, you have to cross an eighth of the room. And so on and so forth so you can't ever actually get anywhere."

Masozi squints at him. 

“- Maybe there’s a shortest distance? And there can’t be anything shorter than that? So it’s - not half of it again and again forever, only down to the shortest distance?”

"Nope! Well, there is, but that's not how you solve the puzzle. --Do you want me to tell you the solution?"

“Okay?”

"--oh, crap, you don't know what an infinity is. Um. So you know how there's no biggest number?"

Has anyone considered that Wei Ying is very good.

“I need to think about it.”

Masozi scrunches up his face in visible intense concentration for thirty seconds.

And then lights up, bouncing again. “There isn’t! That makes sense, there wouldn’t be.” Awe in his eyes. “It’s…so beautiful…”

"That's called 'infinity.' Things that go on forever. And the one half plus one fourth plus one eighth plus one sixteenth and so on thing is called an 'infinite series' because it goes on forever. And it turns out infinite series can add up to finite numbers! That one adds up to one, which is exactly what you'd expect, because you're crossing one room."

“I - what -“

His breath catches. “Whoa!!!!”

"I know! Isn't it awesome! Anyway, that's calculus. It's all about using math to talk about motion and change over time and also cutting things up into infinite pieces."

“Wow! …So how do you do that?”

"...probably you should read the book and I should not try to give you an entire introduction to calculus class in thirty minutes."

Masozi will read the book, then! 

"I'm sorry."

Wei Wuxian translates this and adds, "...do you have any idea what he's sorry for?"

Masozi is very absorbed in his math book and so it takes him a few moments to notice someone is talking to him. 

“- What? No? Is he saying sorry to me - that makes no sense…”

"Lan Xichen assigned me to watch you to be comforting. I tried to be comforting and then the guards said confusing things."

Wei Wuxian's commentary on this translation is "Lan Wangji? Comforting? Really?"

"- What? I thought Lan Xichen assigned you to stop me from murdering anyone." 

"No. He thought you'd be more comfortable with someone you know in the room."

"I - guess that helped? ...I need to get better at thinking when I'm scared. I thought I was okay at it but it was - a different kind of scared - than being chased by a mal." 

"Everyone was very confusing."

"I thought maybe they were casting a spell to kill me? It - sounded sort of like a spell. But I guess it wasn't." 

"Mn."

"- I'm sorry it was confusing and hard for you." 

"People are confusing."

"They are! Especially here. I - guess people I knew in Malawi weren't as confusing. But I keep breaking the rules by accident and I need to figure out how to stop doing that." 

"The Lan family has three thousand rules."

"And all of them are stupid! Walk with your hand behind your back, don't talk during meals, be a prig who hates fun..."

"I don't offend people."

"That's because you don't talk! I bet I wouldn't offend people if I couldn't talk."

"I'm with Wei Ying, we need to teach him social rules that don't make him totally lame."

"I don't think I could remember three thousand rules anyway!" 

"They copy them out for mana."

"Remember the time Lan Qiren got pissed at me and I had to copy them all out?"

"The time, singular, he says."

"I can still recite them! 'Talking behind other people's backs is prohibited, running is prohibited except in situations of danger, sitting improperly is prohibited, eating more than three bowls is prohibited, don't be picky with food, do not disturb women, don't mix public and private interests, be loyal and filial, train your body and mind, be strict with yourself, be easy on others'-- Lan Qiren apparently hasn't heard of that rule--"

"Mn."

"- I guess if I copied them out in Mandarin that would be good language practice too?" Masozi offers. 

"They padded them out. There's both 'don't be of two minds' and 'be of one mind.' And a bunch of them are like 'Diligence is the root, morality is the priority, harmony is the value, stop bad habits, shoulder the weight of morality, uphold the value of justice,' like, thank you, Lan ancestors, I never would have realized diligence and morality are good things unless you told me that fourteen times."

"You definitely don't know that diligence is a good thing."

"I know it! I just don't put it into practice! Totally different things."

Masozi giggles despite himself. "Maybe you should only tell me the important ones, then. ...I don't think I really understand what 'be filial' means." 

"It means respecting and obeying your parents, elders, and ancestors."

"You're supposed to take care of them, obey them, behave well so that people will speak well of them, be courteous to them, give them grandchildren, and bury them and make sacrifices after they die."

"And survive the Scholomance."

"It's a virtue that's mostly popular among parents."

"...I don't think my parents cared about it but I guess Malawi is just really different." 

"I think our parents like it because they had to obey their parents and now they want revenge."

"Mn."

"That seems like a weird thing for parents to want! ....Anyway can we talk about the rules in a bit, I want to learn calculus now." And eat more candy. Because he can. 

Everyone pulls out their math homework and gets to work, occasionally snacking on Yanli's candy. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are happy to explain things whenever he gets stuck.

This is really nice! Masozi has never had anything that was this nice before. He's learning things and he has candy and he's not alone. 

When they're close to wrapping up, Wei Wuxian says, "if you think about it we just traded in Song Lan for Masozi. A good trade, I think."

"....What?" Masozi is not at all following the claim being made here! "I - you wanting to work with me wasn't related to him, I thought."

"Well, we used to have six people who are bros--"

"Mn."

"Five bros and Lan Wangji," he acknowledges. "And we lost one of our bros and got a second, much cooler bro."

This seems...kind of painfully awkward? They're talking about someone who DIED and they're treating it like it was in any way GOOD and it's - upsetting - except clearly they have way more reason to be upset than he does about a person he never even met??? 

"I - think I can't be cooler than someone who already learned Mandarin and math before they came here," he settles on saying. 

"Song Lan was boring! And he kept being like 'you have to follow the rules, Wei Ying, stop poking Wen Ning with your calligraphy pen because you're bored, Wei Ying, it looks bad for the enclave if you steal a car and go joyriding down the streets of Shanghai, Wei Ying.'"

"That was great."

"It really was."

"...Isn't it stressful for Wen Ning if you poke him just because you're bored?" 

"He's fine with it," Wei Wuxian says dismissively. "Anyway, there is no one in the world more deserving of having his induction spell fail so he has to spend the next four years in the enclave under heavy guard."

"Why...didn't they do that? It seems like it might've been safer for him than here." 

"Song Lan, I mean. Wen Ning can't miss his induction spell, I'd miss him."

"No one would bother trying to keep Wen Ning alive except Wen Qing and Lan Xichen."

"...Are their parents not alive?" 

"Alive but they don't really care about him-- it doesn't make sense to be invested, if you know your kid's going to die anyway--"

"....I guess maybe my parents weren't invested in any of us because they - didn't think they had any way to make more of us survive and not die? ....I don't know. I think they still cared me. Whatever that means, when it's - not about having the power to make sure things are good...?" 

"It's different, I think, if you expect the kid to survive. Like there's a sort of contract you agree to by being born, and Wen Ning failed it."

“….I think it’s stupid and doesn’t help anything to call that ‘failing’? I - it wasn’t his fault and it - doesn’t seem like his biggest problem is about virtue…?”

"I mean, I think they think it is his fault. If he just tried harder he wouldn't be so scared."

“…I don’t think being scared is his problem? I - I’m, I was, scared all the time, and - it seems like I have really different problems?”

"You're scared of mals. a-Ning is scared of people."

Jiang Cheng is looking at Jiang Yanli like she's the wisest person in the world.

He's scared of people and he just doesn't talk to them. This is solvable.

“….I’m scared of people who can hurt me? I - I was so scared, before, when I thought New York would murder me. But I wasn’t before… Did Wen Ning think the enclave would hurt him or kill him?”

"He's mostly scared of being a disappointment, I think."

"And he is a disappointment so the thing he's scared of happens all the time."

“….I don’t think I know what that means?”

"Well, he should be the sort of person who survives the Scholomance and instead he can't even learn to speak English."

“…I think I don’t know what you mean by ‘should’, there?”

"I'm not sure we're going to get anywhere with this conversation. a-Xian, did you have more things you wanted to say about Song Lan?"

"Right. He sucks and I like Masozi better and I am looking forward to meeting him in four years and going 'hey look we got this WAY COOLER replacement who is from Malawi and would totally help me steal a car and not turn me into the Dominus like a dweeb.'"

“…..I don’t know if I think you have the right understanding of me?” Masozi says blankly. “I - it doesn’t really sound like you stole a car for strategic reasons?”

"It was the strategic reason of being fun."

...Masozi kind of hates this entire conversation? He's not at all sure how to steer it onto a track that he hates less, though. 

He ducks his head and says nothing. 

Yanli is going to change the conversation back to math.

Math is so much easier to have a conversation about!

Eventually everyone leaves, but Wei Wuxian lingers.

"...so I heard you need mana storage?"

Masozi is so confused! Again! 

“I - yes - but I had a plan, I was going to get a book about how to build it in shop.” 

"Oh, but mana storage made by freshmen is really bad. Do you wanna borrow my powersharer sometimes? You can stick mana in and draw it when you need it."

“…I would like that but I don’t know if I have anything I can trade for it.”

He shrugs. "You're one of us, if you don't have the mana to finish your homework I'm as likely to be eaten as you. --Just don't tell Lan Xichen, okay? He'd go on about the rules of powersharers. Like you wouldn't get one in six months if we had spares."

"I - what - but it matters that Lan Xichen knows all the things? Because he - he's the person who has to figure out what all of us have to do so we can end up doing the stable thing with all the other enclaves...?"

He shrugs. "If you don't want to you don't want to, but offer's open if you decide Xichen-gege doesn't need to know everything."

....Masozi does not, in fact, have zero ability to pick up on subtext.

"....Would it be - a useful thing for you? If I used your power sharer?"

"Nah. I'm just offering because we're friends."

There is definitely some kind of weird baffling subtext going on here! …But it seems like maybe Wei Wuxian doesn’t want it poked at?

And if Masozi has learned any kind of social skill up to this point, it’s that - poking people when they would prefer not that results in - them wanting to execute you???

 “…Okay. I - would be grateful for that?” 

"Cool. Just hit me up when you want to dump or grab some mana."

“Okay. …Do I have to be near you if I want to do either of those?”

"You have to be wearing the power sharer to use it. Here, try it." He puts it on Masozi's wrist. 

Masozi takes the mystery bracelet.

Puts it on.

……That’s so much power! He can feel it - right there, so nearby - 

- he wrenches the power-sharer off and throws it to the ground, before he can accidentally pull any power from it, because it would be so easy to but he doesn’t want to steal Shanghai’s power or threaten them…

"...okay it's not going to work if you're that freaked out by it."

“What isn’t going to work? I - sorry - I can practice if it’s just that it’s too hard for me - but I don’t know what you want? And I - Lan Xichen would be angry with me if I took all of Shanghai’s mana by accident…”

"I just mean if you throw the power-sharer away you can't put mana in it. --Honestly if you take all of Shanghai's mana by accident I think he would be impressed."

“….I guess I probably couldn’t take all of it? I,just… I could take a lot? And it - seems stupid for all of you to trust me that much? So I - I’m scared that you’ll - change your mind - if I do something wrong…”

He shrugs. "Well, dump mana in until you feel like you've got the hang of it and then try pulling some out."

Masozi nods. Goes and picks up the bracelet. 

- Hesitates, again. 

"I - guess all the times I pulled mana from someplace outside of me, before, it was from rats? And I - I just found out maybe that makes you crazy? And - also makes all the other enclaves want to kill you? ....I think using this is probably safe but I - it's still scary?"

"That makes sense. Maybe not tonight?"

"...I can put mana in now? I have some - and I already have wards on my room so I don't need to save very much...?" 

"Sure! And you can pull it out later when you need it."

"....Okay. Does it just work like giving mana to a person?" 

"Yep!"

Masozi very carefully puts in all of his mana, except for a tiny bit that he saves so he can check for mals before going to sleep. He's accumulated quite a solid chunk of it, for a freshman; he hasn't been casting spells most of today, and practicing listening to Mandarin and replicating the sounds, plus taking every reasonable opportunity to use words he knows or can hunt down in his notes, is apparently quite good for mana-building. (Math, frustratingly, is much less so. Probably he likes it too much.) 

"Thanks! See you later."

"Goodnight!"