Annisa set her alarm for 5:45 but actually woke up at 4:30, heart pounding. She's going to need to train herself out of that habit promptly. But if she's up, she's up, so she'll check her room over (not that it's likely there's anything, and there isn't, but you don't want to get lulled into a false sense of security by the first few weeks of school), do some core exercises, memorize the number on the slip of paper under her door that tells her her homeroom -
- she's procrastinating actually thinking, isn't she, and she can't afford to do that.
Yesterday mostly went as expected. There's whatever bizarre thing happened in Chicago, and there are some kids who do not seem up to the task, but that's not surprising, really, when she thinks about it. Her brothers hadn't been up to the task; her parents hadn't realized how serious, how relentless, they would have to be to have a living child. Probably Syech didn't commit suicide or throw a public tantrum on the first day of school, and they know Ien made it to senior year, but still. General principle. Some kids don't have what it takes, and those kids will be winnowed out soon enough and then everything will be exactly what she was trained for. Daria is a very convenient next door neighbor and looks to be a solid training partner and Annisa is going to squash down the stupid temptation to make friends with people, though she does appreciate having been warned about it, in advance she hadn't even expected the temptation would exist. And Malak is competent, and clever, and -
- and what they're doing this morning, if they're doing this, if Malak comes - is dangerous. It would be smarter not to do it, to have an alibi and go to homeroom and let Toronto find Toronto girl's stuff, if she's dead, which she probably isn't. But -
- but playing it safe would make perfect sense if 75% of students made it out, if all you had to do was not be one of the idiots. But 25% of students make it out. Less than 10% of full independents, like her, like Malak. It's not enough to play it safe. You need an advantage -
- which she might have. She has arguably the best affinity you can get. She has excellent neighbors. If she doesn't get spellblocked and she doesn't get unlucky she can impress an enclaver enough for an alliance, senior year, and if she does get spellblocked extra supplies won't help -
- except they might. She can trade for things. Better wards, better potions, she could have paid Daria in supplies instead of in mana and then she'd have this next month and a half building mana for herself rather than for Daria. They might, and her odds are not good, and if she pulls this off they'll be better, and - it seems like the Annisa who makes it out of here has this competence, even on the first day of school.
Plus if they pull it off that is practically an alliance, with Malak, who can make a tray of food safe every day, who has older siblings -
- probably the girl will have changed her mind and all this agonizing will be pointless -
- Annisa rehearses her plans in her head, anxiously, until they all sound doomed, and then keeps rehearsing them until it feels like they happened already. While she does that she does situps, and planks, and leg-lifts, because she is in Daria's debt and wants her knife back.
When there's a knock on the door she races right to it. She's a bit sweaty.