"More useful than they sound, huh? Then maybe you want to throw in another spell? I've got a corkscrew and a bottle opener, I can show you if you won't freak out at me going for a weapon." Corkscrew, bottle opener, scissors, knife, saw, nail clipper, and something he hasn't been able to identify that might actually be a metal toothpick. At least on the the one he's willing to admit to having right now.

Possibly he's getting scammed here and magic isn't even real but who knows. He got here somehow, right?

"Ballsy! Sure, I'll throw in.. hmm, adjustable light spell? Same principle as the others, it might keep you alive long enough to learn the real shit."

"Sure, sounds good." If it's that easy he probably didn't haggle hard enough but hey. Now he knows something important about the price of a Swiss army knife here. "What's a light spell good for?"

"Mentioned the monsters, right? They like hanging out in the dark. You don't want to keep a light spell on all the time, but it's good for checking in corners and stuff. And if you pump more mana into it it'll flash enough to blind and stun."

"Cool."

"Notably you don't usually want to use it that way. It's usually more efficient to fry the bastards. But if something's too big to fry, flashing at it might make it decide you're not worth it - or at least give you a chance to run."

Just like with animals.

Fuck. Just like them.

"I think I understand."

"Good. I can give you intel but I can't give up resources, you know? And I want you to go on confusing the shit out of everyone around you and surviving until I'm enough of a power that I can spend my leverage on petty shit like keeping someone alive because they suck less than most people."

"I suck less than most people! Certified forty-ninth percentile suckitude! - More importantly, how do people at magic kidnapping wizard school suck?"

"Ugh. I mostly know the Beijing kids but they're - everybody's raised from birth to survive, you know, so they don't care about anything that isn't that. The only people worth talking to are the ones who've given up on survival or the ones who're fucking crazy. Lao's the former, I'm the latter."

"I aspire to be fucking crazy, myself. Can't say I succeed." That feels like a dumb thing to say but he's starting to really feel how late it is. Or at least how late it was back in Close Enough To Chicago.

"Well, we've all got something to work on."