"This is the Scholomance. Magic is real, wizards send their kids here if they can, because the Scholomance has a survival rate of one in four over the course of all four years, as opposed to one in twenty for wizard kids who try to spend their adolescence not in a pocket dimension designed to keep out nasty creepy-crawlies called mals. It's not perfect at it, but it's a lot better than going on your own. If your parents aren't wizards, and you didn't know about magic, your chances were even lower than that, you'd probably have gotten eaten by one in your sleep while you weren't conscious enough to disbelieve it. You'll probably still die in here if you don't have any idea how not to. Wizard hair's a useful magical material, we'll trade you orienting you and a pair of silk slippers for your hair."