This is not a conversation he should really be having someone with half his age. "Unless someone is bleeding, I do not swear."

“So, what, you’re all PG-family-friendly? Yeahhhhh, that’s what I thought. I bet you swear lots when someone’s bleeding though. —Hey, if I got hurt, would you swear?”

"You don't need to prove that."

“What, really? C’monnnnnnn. It’d be funny.”

"Maybe I am still too used to the place I was from, but I don't find people I like being injured amusing."

“How am I supposed to get you to swear then.”

"You'll just have to face a battle, or suchlike."

"I've faced lots of battles. I am a fucking veteran, I am."

"--One where I'm also there."

"Awwwwww but that'll be aaaaaaages from now probably."

"You're just going to have to wait to hear me swear then." This is not where he expected this conversation to go.

"I will. I am so patient. Turtles are so afraid of me because I am the most patient."

"I'm sure they are."

"Fuck yeah. Ask anyone and they will tell you women want me, turtles fear me. I am like Dream to turtles. Or maybe he is a turtle. They are both green and I think that is weird."

"They are both technically green...?"

"They are green with envy, they are so envious of me because I have all the patience and IQ points."

Ah, yes, Tommy and patience: a natural combination. "IQ points? Are they currency, or--?"

“Huh? No. IQ is like, how smart you are. It’s like, Dream does 5000 IQ plays ‘cause he’s all, oooh I’m Dweam and I’m good at fighting, but then I have more IQ points than him ‘cuz I’m cooler than him and one time I killed him with a minecart.”

"...how does one kill someone with a minecart. Hypothetically."

“…By hitting him with it? Like, I was in it, and he was on the tracks. —I did try to warn him but he wasn’t listening. So I took his stuff. It was pretty pog.”

"So not something with a lot of combat implications." Pity.

“Maybe you just gotta lure him onto railroad tracks again. Fuckin… ambush him. If it’s like a duel though you gotta actually outplay him, mm?”

"We have been practicing for that. I do not know how it will go when we face him-- but we're trying."

“That’s what I like to see! Jingyan, my man! Big J! You gotta have me back for that, not to brag but I’ve actually killed Dream more times than Tubbo has, we could fuck him up, get back my fuckin discs, mate.”

"I'll have to discuss with Tubbo what's possible. More skilled hands would be good, but they're may be issues of coordination."