"...if I had the chance to go back to Narnia... ugh. It'd be lovely, but - Earth has so many more problems that I can help fix. I just miss - you know, having a place where things were mostly good, somewhere I was just polishing up the details. But I wouldn't trade it. Besides, Tom's here."

"Into fixing problems, are you? Decent hobby, I guess. Keeps things interesting. Where's Narnia?"

"Oh, um - a few months ago by the clock my sister walked through a portal into a fantastical world ruled over by a wicked witch, and after some false starts the rest of us went in too, and I had rather a bad time of it at first but, um, my siblings defeated the witch and Aslan, the King of All Worlds, set me to rights, and then we ruled there as Kings and Queens for fifteen years. Then we got dropped back through the portal and we were all kids again. It's been... an adjustment."

"Also they've been keeping the whole affair secret from everybody in our world," Tom adds. "I suppose you should feel very honored."

"Oh, what, is she going to tell the Minister? There's not a point to keeping it secret here."

"The King of All Worlds? Which ones?"

"Well, all of them, in theory - he's the god the Muggles worship, or so he said, the one that created the world and sent his only begotten son to die for humanity's sins and all that. But with the sheer number of worlds we're learning exist, I'm not so sure of it. How could he have only one begotten son if he had to sacrifice him for that many bloody worlds? It all seems a bit ad hoc, is all I'm saying."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. I was gonna say, I feel like it'd be news to a lot of worlds that they have a king."

"Rather."

Edmund turns to the girl waiting outside. "Are you going to come in? None of us bite except Tom, and I'd stop him."

She sidles nervously into the room.

"...is it true you've met God?" she asks hesitantly. "Did he have anything to say on the subject of vampires?"

"...not in particular? They're not so much different from wizards, if you ask me, just... deader."

"...I think we may be talking about different kinds of vampire."

"We're probably not from the same world, so yes, probably we are talking about different kinds of vampire. But I've no reason to think Aslan would give me advice on your world's varietal."

Small sigh. "That makes sense."

"...what's your name? I guess we could go 'round and introduce ourselves, that sounds like fun - I'm Edmund Pevensie, I'm twenty-five or eleven depending on how you count it, and I hope to become Minister for Magic one day."

"I'm Tom Riddle, I'm thirteen, and... hmm... I'm considering studying to become an Animagus."

"You've never told me that!"

Tom shrugs. "We've been together less than a week."

"Chantal Myers. I'm the Vampire Slayer."

"Ysandre Navarr. My life's ambition is to be totally useless."

"Hmm. I feel strongly inclined to convince you otherwise, but we've just met. But - isn't there anything that itches at you, some social problem that feels like a loose tooth that only you can pull?"

"I mean, I hate lots of things about my society, but my plan for what to do about this is to leave and go do architecture somewhere else by myself."

"...huh."

"Personally my plan for dealing with the things I hate is to conquer the world and make them stop."

"That sounds like so much work! Why would you do that to yourself?"