He's shielding her out. Is he angry? Is he ever going to forgive her? She's so scared - 

Leareth, without hesitating, goes straight to Vanyel's bedside. Takes his hand. 

:Do you want to see her?: he asks, quietly. :She - resolved the problem - she wants to return to you: 

Aaaaaaah why is this terrifying and awful. 

:I don't know: 

:Do you want her to leave?: 

Vanyel's hand tightens around Leareth's. :No! I - just - I need a moment...: 

:Of course. Do you wish me to stay, or would you prefer privacy?: 

:- Please stay?: 

:Of course. I am not going anywhere: 

And he casts a helpless look in Carissa's direction, not that he expects her to necessarily be any better than he is at navigating this, and also she wouldn't have caught any of that conversation, it was in private Mindspeech. 

Carissa's going theory of Vanyel is that he's a weird alien who wants the exact opposite of what normal people want in every situation. She shrugs helplessly at Leareth.

:We need to talk at some point: Leareth tells Vanyel. :About - what you want us to do, if you are suicidal again. Though I am guessing it is not an imminent concert, since Carissa - informs me that she asked if you wanted help killing yourself, and you declined?: 

Aaaaaaauuuughhhhh why did she have to TELL him this is the most mortifying thing in the entire WORLD. 

:I am not angry: Leareth clarifies quickly. :With you or with her. I - should have communicated sooner that I would have been willing to let you die, if you persistently wanted it and endorsed wanting it: 

:- Figures. Iomedae would've let me: 

Leareth goes still. :You spoke to Her?: 

:Well, the Shadow-Lover first, that always happens and he tries to convince me to go back. Only this time I guess he decided She'd do a better job. ...I get why you like Her: 

:Oh?: 

:Er, can we actually - not talk about this right now? I, sorry, just–: 

:Of course. And I am the one who should apologize for being thoughtless: Leareth squeezes Vanyel's hand again. 

He's quiet for a while. 

:...Why am I scared: he sends, finally. :Doesn't make sense, I should - want her back, right - I should be happy...?: 

:It makes perfect sense to me. When one has been betrayed, trying to trust again is very frightening. - Iomedae had to brute-force that problem for me by making me a paladin. She did not think I would be able to trust Her and Her people in time, otherwise: 

:Oh: His mindvoice is very quiet and small. 

After an endless-feeling silence, 

:- I think I need to just - do it. I'm not going to stop being scared: 

And he sits up, and stretches a hand out toward Yfandes - 

- and tries to part his shields for her. It feels a little like trying to remove clothes he's been wearing for months, in a war zone, and now they're stiff and caked with filth and stuck to various half-healed injuries and he's forgotten the usual way how one takes off clothes in the first place, and it hurts... 

Yfandes doesn't move from near the doorway, but her muzzle and ears reach out toward him. 

:I love you. I am so, so sorry: 

:I love you too. It wasn't ever your fault. I'm - sorry - that the world hurt you so badly -: 

Why is her Chosen always so much better than she can ever deserve. 

:Are you–: She steels herself. :I - Van, love, I didn't give you a choice, at the beginning. This time, I will. Do you want me in your life?: 

This is not fair. 

He's trembling, for some stupid goddamned reason. But Leareth is still there, radiating calmness. It must just be a generic paladin thing, and he wouldn't have expected it to suit the man like it does, but...it does. 

:Yes: he manages. How could she have ever thought it was otherwise.