"...Why did you do that." 

Her expression is very rigorously controlled, now; she's scared. "Because he tried to kill himself and the paladins stopped him - you have to, you're paladins, suicide's Evil - but I think that's kind of awful of Good, that it's like that. Because - because if you own people you should admit that, and if you don't then, well, you don't. And I liked that about you, that you didn't try to stop me from going home, and I understand why you're allied with Iomedae, but - but it's a bad thing, that being Good means - owning people and not admitting it - anyway, I knew you'd be mad, I can take it, I honestly bet you're not capable of being mad enough I regret it but if you are, then that's good to learn too."

"I am not angry with you," Leareth says immediately. That seems like the most immediate confusion to clear up.

The rest is harder to say right. 

"...We did stop him. But Rovira said right away, that it was - not right to force him to stay alive. I just wanted to speak with him, first, to - have a better sense of whether it was endorsed, or mostly on impulse? When people are in enough pain, they will - try to make it stop, without necessarily thinking about their long-term preferences and goals? Vanyel was clearly not thinking clearly when this happened. And, in fact, it turns out the situation was more resolvable than I think he had been assuming, when he was in pain and not thinking well. But...if it had gone differently - or even if he had been angry when we saved him - I would not have stopped him again." 

"....oh.

I don't think he knows that."

"Do you think I should tell him? I am not sure if it would help, at this point." 

"Dunno. He's kind of weird. No offense, I know you like him. A Chelish person would want to know, because it's part of knowing - what kind of ally you have." She's still shivering, a little.

"I do not at all disagree that Vanyel is a strange person in many ways! I expect that is part of why we get along– not the part where he wants to die sometimes, that is just baffling." 

He looks thoughtfully at her. "...Would it help if I hugged you." 

"...probably." it would help if he hit her like a normal fucking person but she is not going to tell him that.

Hug.

"You know," Leareth murmurs into her hair, "you pick some truly fascinating principles to stand by." 

"Maybe 'm just not understanding 'cause I'm not the kind of person Vanyel is. But if for some incredibly stupid reason I wanted to die, I'd ....it'd be very very awful, if I couldn't - Cheliax doesn't stop you -"

"- Would it in fact cause him to be sorted Evil, if he died by suicide in Golarion? I...can see why that would make it feel very fraught, to people who - think the Evil afterlives are very bad. Though also I think that would strongly dis-incentivize Vanyel from trying, if he expected to keep existing anyway, and also be tortured - I suppose if he were sorted neutral evil he could just be eaten -" 

"That's what people do, when they want to stop existing, yeah. Suicide's Evil same as any other killing people is Evil. Van's probably Good enough to get Nirvana anyway, but for most people, killing themselves is the biggest thing they've ever done in their lives..." She leans into Leareth. "The Evil afterlives aren't great, but - but - actually I don't know how to explain what I think. I think you should do what you want but it should count as Evil, when you grab another person's entire immortal fate out of their hands for your own reasons, you shouldn't get to do that and say you're Good."

Squeeze. "That sounded like a perfectly clear explanation to me! And...honestly a more reasonable sorting policy than what Pharasma is currently using. I am sorry that is not how the system works - though I think it must be more complicated than 'Good people are not allowed to let someone who wants to die do that', or else Rovira would not have said what she did." 

"Yeah. Maybe it's - maybe you're trading away less than I imagined.

It's very weird you're not mad, by the way."

"- I might have been upset if you had gone ahead and killed him without even speaking to me about it or coordinating in any way! I very rarely find that being angry helps me accomplish my goals, or that my personnel being afraid of me is useful. I think Cheliax has...some specific different incentives, and that is part of what is confusing for you? But I will admit that I am also an unusual person." 

"I thought if I spoke to you you'd stop me! I'm - sorry, for thinking that."

"- I might have, or tried to argue you out of it, if I thought you were assessing the situation in an importantly wrong way? For example, because I have known Vanyel for over a decade and have more data to predict that he would not endorse having done it in his calmer moments. But - hmm. Do you understand why I consider it so important that you are able to talk to me about your plans?" 

"...so I don't murder your friends?"

"No. That is tangential to the problem. I would be frustrated even if no death were involved. I - just - I try so hard to be a safe person to come to with information, any information, even if I will very much not like to hear it. Because that way I will have context on what my personnel and my allies are doing! ...Of course, sometimes compartmentalization is correct for security reasons, but that is different; at least I know that a secret exists, and where the opaque boxes are, so I can account for the missing context. When there are - unknown unknowns - then my plans are more likely to go wrong in ways that I cannot see coming. Which means very likely, because miscommunications and ill luck leading to unexpected catastrophic failures is exactly the kind of situation that the gods of Velgarth are best at manipulating. I am not sure exactly what scenario could have played out with Vanyel - and this is perhaps less of a concern now that I have Iomedae on our side - but nonetheless. I would be very grateful if you were willing to avoid opening cracks in my organization through which the gods can reach and meddle. Does that make sense?" 

Everything makes PERFECT SENSE except why she is capable of moving or talking, given that he reasonably thinks she poses a serious threat to his operational security. That makes NO sense and it's very concerning and part of her general impression, which this situation has not budged, that Good cannot win.

Leareth squeezes her shoulders a little.

"- I will note that currently you are being mindread fairly regularly, at times you are almost certainly not aware of. I...understand that it is confusing and frightening to you, that we are allowing you this degree of autonomy despite the obvious risk. To be clear that is my decision and I think the paladins think it a stupid one, so - I would not blame this one on Good in the Golarion sense, per se. But I do have reasons and I think they are important and I want to - try to explain some background." 

Sure, she will snuggle and listen to his attempted explanation.

Snuggle. 

"So - something Iomedae pointed out to me, is that I am very used to working alone, to - not being able to truly rely on anybody except myself, and - whatever my end goals, this is more of an Evil strategy than a Good one. Before this, in general, I was very suspicious and paranoid. But...not maximally so. Because, even then, I think I was aware of - a range of options that are available to Good, and not to Evil, and that are centred around - the potential to accumulate allies to your cause, not because you are paying them or threatening them but because they also value the cause, and - that is a kind of alliance that will bear more weight, in certain ways, and one with more potential for unexpected positive downstream consequences. I knew this, before. It - is not a strategy that works very well, in Velgarth with Velgarth's native gods. Not for me, at least. But it sometimes works, and when it works well it is of incredible value." 

He pauses.

"- I am sure you have noticed the extent of Nayoki's personal loyalty to me. Do you know why that is the case?" 

"...obviously great personal loyalty to you is a good way to rise in the ranks of your organization, so people capable of it would cultivate it and get promoted?"

"- I mean, it is not false that there is a selection effect there. And it is also true that I have invested unusual effort in working with Nayoki, because her rare combination of Gifts is unusually valuable to me. And that Nayoki is, in some sense, loyal to me because it obtains her what she wants. ...But it matters, that the thing she wants is - adjacent enough to what I want that letting her pursue it is actively helpful to my aims and certainly does not conflict. Nayoki, since she was a child, has desperately hated stagnation in this world, and the gods responsible for it. She wants to study and learn and experiment and invent incredible things and she was so stifled, before. She fled her homeland, looking for a way - any way - to have the freedom to do that. And so when I recruited her, I did not talk about what she as an individual would gain. I told her what I was working on. I explained how she could contribute - how her direct efforts could build a future that held space for more invention, in the world. I had to convince her I was not lying, of course, but once she believed me, she jumped at the opportunity."