Vanyel can tell that none of what he's saying is landing, that it's not going to work - that it can't ever work, maybe - the Companions are god-created beings and they aren't human and maybe it's not surprising, that there's something in their very blood and bones and being that - prevents them from looking at it straight-on... 

He can't do this on his own. He can't. 

:Yfandes. Please. I - just - Leareth's plan was monstrous but - he repented, right? As soon as he saw a way to be Good and still win, still - actually fix things. And I think that means something. I think he - was right, that the state of the world was unacceptable. I think that's what Iomedae would say: 

:Yfandes can you please, please, just listen to what I'm saying and SAY SOMETHING: 

:I - Chosen - I can't - don't - please - I can't - I don't understand you anymore -: 

Exhaustion. Quiet resignation. Vanyel wishes he could find it in him to be surprised, or disappointed, or...anything, really. He can't. 

:You don't have to apologize: he sends, slowly, heavily, each word falling like lead weights between them. :You can't help what you are. Please don't say that you're sorry, it won't - do anything - it won't help - it's not going to fix things...: 

It feels like her mind is trying to tear itself apart and trying to reach for Vanyel and push him away from her at the same time, and the worst, the stupidest part of it all is that she can't really understand why. 

:I can't do this: 

He can't either. Not without her. 

Not without you, ashke - why aren't you here - 

A pointless wisp of thought that he doesn't bother to fight. 

But he has to hold the fragmented pieces of himself together anyway, around the void. For just a little bit longer. He has to tell someone who can act on what he's learned, what he knows. 

:Just go, then: he sends, very tiredly. :Don't - keep trying to pretend. It's hurting you, and I never wanted...: 

He makes himself slide down from the saddle.

:Please. Just go. Don't - make this any harder for both of us: 

Her blue eyes bore into him for a moment longer, but - not quite focusing, somehow. Not quite seeing him. 

And then she goes. 

And Vanyel sits down on the side of the road and hugs his knees to his chest and puts his head down. 

It's so tempting to curl up in the dead leaves and fall asleep and maybe never wake up. But he's not done. Not yet. 

He's still in easy Mindspeech range of the Guard-post, and he's strong enough to reach the un-Gifted. He Mindtouches Ignasi. 

:I need help - please - need to, leave Valdemar, can't be here - need to talk to Leareth...: 

Ignasi is quite surprised! 

He doesn't show it. 

"While you're going through that I'm going to go catch up with Vanyel on his walk, he just Mindspoke me" he says, "Hopefully I'll be back shortly, and if not I'll give you an update."

And he stands up and walks in what feels like the right direction.

Tran is also a little surprised, but not very. Van did seem like he was in the sort of mood where he might want to pull someone aside and complain about how unreasonable everyone else is when it comes to forgiving Leareth. 

Vanyel is about a half-mile down the road. He’s not hard to spot; he’s sitting in the middle of it, curled up in a tight ball of obvious misery. 

Ignasi - radiates a sort of assurance, a conviction that everyone around can think clearly and can achieve their goals and is not alone.

When he touches Vanyel's shoulder he makes Vanyel less tired, too, somehow. 

"What's going on?"

Speaking out loud is still too hard. 

:There's - a problem. You shouldn't push Valdemar. On helping Iomedae. It - won't work - it'll just hurt people. I need to, to tell Leareth. So he knows: 

- okay. Paladins don't have teleportation, I can signal him for a pickup so that you can speak to him?

:All right: It's going to set off a Web-alarm that wasn't cleared in advance, but fortunately Vanyel is right here and he MADE the Web and even half-lost in misery, he can be ready to disable the alarm before anyone notices. 

He goes back to curling up tightly and hugging himself. 

Leareth gave the paladins magic items for this. He keeps his hand on Vanyel's shoulder, though it doesn't seem like Vanyel needs healing exactly, and activates the not-emergency one. (He's not entirely sure that it's not an emergency, but no one seems to be in immediate danger and Leareth's people bursting in ready for a fight seems like it'd frighten Valdemar.)

When you say that we shouldn't push on getting Valdemar to work with Iomedae, do you mean - that we shouldn't ask for help in Iftel? That we shouldn't proselytize? Is it all right if I explain to Tantras and Keiran that you think this?

It's very hard to talk about, but it's not fair to the paladins either, not knowing what they've just walked into. 

:...More the second. Think Iftel's fine, it's not - she's working with Vkandis: He takes a shaky breath. :It - just - the Companions can't. Can't...think...about opposing the gods here. They - were made by gods. I think it's - some sort of limitation. Built into them. And ever since....: 

He trails off; the ever since what is too complicated. 

:- I tried. With Yfandes. Didn't work. She left: 

I'm so sorry, he says fervently. Do you want to go explain to Leareth, or do you want to go home - I can explain to Leareth -

Vanyel's entire body tenses. :- Please don't send me back I can't go back - I just need to talk to Leareth -: 

He is very carefully not-thinking about anything further in the future than that. 

- okay. I'm sorry. They'll be here to get us shortly and you can go talk to Leareth. And we'll make sure this problem doesn't happen with anyone else. Is Yfandes all right? Does she need help right now?