"I'll leave you two to it, we'll dine in an hour and a half."

He bows and closes the door, which prompts Kaede to go exploring the staggeringly pretty bookshelf. Then she frowns and—" This is all fake."

"In what sense?"

"It's not really this pretty, look." And she pinches the magic everywhere and—doesn't break it, merely stops it, holds it in suspension for a bit so Felix can see what's really there—

—it's not ugly. It's a perfectly ordinary room, with a perfectly ordinary fireplace—which is inlaid with gold, but it's not especially pretty gold—and the bed is nice but not spectacular, and the water fountain is entirely normal—

—and then she lets go and it's once again the prettiest place he's ever seen.

"Ah, I see what you mean." Felix makes a gesture to indicate that he wants to talk telepathically.

I don't think you should say things like that out loud in case they are spying on us.

I'd notice if they were, I checked that as soon as I got in—was how I noticed this magic, actually, it's pretty tight and cleverly hidden.

Ah, good. "Is this kind of set up common? Should we infer anything from it?"

"I expect it's common of places that don't want to actually have hundreds of ridiculously pretty rooms. Bet the part where it looked like he picked a door at random was just an act, too."

"...I am not actually sure what to take from that. Maybe they are afraid that we would steal things? I am bothered more with a subterfuge than to have an illusory sensory experience." Would the stereotype of metamancers play anything meaningful in this situation? Maybe they think you'd break the illusions or something?

"They're probably just stingy."

"Maybe the other rooms are like that too? Why do you think he pretended to pick it at random?"

"To make it seem like any room we chose would be like this, when I bet this one was enchanted in advance."

"I honestly don't know if this is the kind of thing that we should try to unravel, it is very... the only word that comes to mind is 'Slytherin' and I don't think anyone explained Harry Potter to you."

"No one did, no, but I don't know why you'd expect it to be any more complex than them wanting to have a pretty place without paying a lot of money for it. Simpler explanation and all."

"I mean, that is simple, but the really Slytherin part is the bit where he pretended to pick a door at random."

"Because he probably doesn't have literally all rooms enchanted, that would be needlessly expensive."

"No, I'm talking about deliberately doing a small thing that would be easy to miss just to manipulate. Enchanted rooms is manipulative, but not as Slytherin as that."

She shrugs. "I think you're overthinking it. And what is this Slytherin thing?"

"Oh, right, let me explain it to you," brief introduction to Harry Potter,  the impact the series had in modern literature, the Hogwarts houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin! Personality quizzes! Fanons! Self-sorting and the inconsistencies thereof. "And Trevor always says we would all end up in Gryffindor, but I think I am a Hufflepuff. And Fernando doesn't see any Gryffindor in himself and thinks he would be a split between Ravenclaw and Slytherin."

"—yeah no I think Trevor might have a point. I would be a pretty even split between Ravenclaw and Slytherin—possibly favouring Slytherin—and I don't think that was particularly Slytherin of him."

Shrug. "That is definitely not my strength. All my ambition comes from a very Hufflepuff angle."

"I can also see that." Kiss. "You're adorable."

Kiss. "You're delightful."

She walks over to a door—" Okay this isn't this pretty in real life but with the illusion it's the prettiest bathroom I've ever seen—what say you we share a bath?"

"Gosh, after days in the road? And with you in it? I can be convinced."

She giggles and pulls him into the jawdropping bathroom.