Dec 03, 2021 2:23 AM
kyeo in anomaland
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He has to either swipe his handcomp or type his ID number to confirm his identity, and then wait in a room painted with educational murals about physiology for five minutes and then the examiner can see him.

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"Hello. I'm Doctor Met, I'm going to be examining you today." She leads him into a little private room and shuts the door. "Since you're, ah, new to this planet, I don't know how familiar our procedures will be. Have you had your blood pressure taken with one of these before?" She gestures at a machine with a (currently blank) readout panel and a flexible plastic sleeve.

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"Similar ones." He sticks out his arm.

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"Oh good, it can be a bit startling the first time. Just stick out your arm, then . . ." It squashes his arm in the manner of sphygmomanometers everywhere and beeps in self-satisfaction.

"Now just take your shoes off and step over here and I'll get your height and weight."

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Shoes off. On scale.

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Careful adjustment of the height measurement stick! . . . Expression of mild concern.

"Have you had time to check your biology knowledge against local sources and see if you have all the same organs, intracellular structures, DNA, etc?"

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"I haven't found anything obviously off."

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"Do you want to go over things in more detail before I start giving you medical advice on the assumption that you're basically a human?"

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"Go over what things?"

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"Well, the best way to be absolutely sure will be to take a blood sample and sequence your genes, and I will definitely do that and won't do anything I expect* to have nontrivial effects until that's done, but that will take two days and I'd like to see if we can't be faster. So I was thinking I'd show you a bunch of diagrams and you can tell me if they match how people where you're from work."

*Literally expect!>=50%. Don't worry, there aren't!>=99% about to metaphorical!be an avalanche of these.

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"I wasn't a doctor, but I can look."

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The room has a computer with a big monitor; Met pulls up a bunch of diagrams. DNA, with its four color-coded bases and ability to unzip! The process of transcribing DNA into RNA and translating it into proteins! The digestive system! The skeleton! The retina, with its stupid layout of rods and cones and blood vessels!

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Not all of this is familiar to Kyeo but in no case is he confident that he works in some other fashion.

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"Alright. Well, conditional on you being basically a human, you're rather underweight and you should eat more. And I'll want to check your vitamin levels, but conveniently that's also a blood sample so it's no extra work for you."

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"Thank you, doctor."

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"Have you ever had your blood drawn before?"

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"Yes." He offers an elbow.

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He is promptly minus some blood.

"Next thing is your medical history. Do you have any ongoing health concerns?"

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"I don't think so."

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"Have you ever needed inpatient medical treatment--that's anything where you had to stay in a hospital overnight?"

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"Yes."

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"And what was that for?"

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"I had contracted a philosophical malady. I was released with a clean bill of health."

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"I'm afraid that didn't translate properly, do you mean a mental disability? Can you describe the symptoms you had and what the treatment was?"

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"Ah." This is a doctor, he should - "I had a problem where I wanted to kiss other boys. It was a, a combination therapy."

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