Kilchas tips his head back. Stares up at a bottomless sky of stars. "Wonder if he gets lonely. Stuck up there, not having a body..." 

"I really doubt that's his biggest problem. He's got the Proto to talk to, right. And - Van said he was getting - killed and a different Leareth would replace him - constantly, sometimes every few seconds..." Shudder. "I– could you do it? Keep trying to help the Proto do what it wants, keep trying to persuade it not to eat us, when you knew - all the time - that your life was measured in seconds? I don't think I could. Don't reckon I'd have the courage." 

Kilchas doesn't speak for a long time. 

"...S'not really like dying, right? If - if there's also thousands of you waking up every second - it's like being born a thousand more times..." He shakes his head. "And? You would. You'd do it for her." Kilchas jerks his chin at Jisa, sleeping, dark curls resting against her cheek. "Never met a mother who wouldn't do anything they could for their babe." 

Shavri's seen a lot of things that she would rather not have seen, in the House of Healing. "...I have." 

"Well, you would." 

Kilchas walks for a while, humming under his breath. 

"- I wonder if it's a little like being a parent. For Leareth, I mean. He - sounds like practically an alien himself, from what I've heard. Like - maybe the Proto was...more the kind of thing he is, than any of us..." 

Shavri snorts despite herself, then quickly bounces and tries to soothe a startled Jisa back to sleep. "Gods. No, not really. The Proto...didn't know what people were. Didn't understand what death is. Leareth - whatever you can say about what he did, he understands that." 

"Hmm." Kilchas kicked at a leaf. "He killed kids, it's - hard to imagine, but..." He drags a hand over his face. "I've done plenty of things I wish I hadn't, as a Herald. And it's - not the same, I know that - but, I don't know, who am I to say that it's different, either?" 

Eventually, when Shavri doesn't say anything, he chuckles wryly. "- Sorry. I'm just a sentimental old man, rambling and not making any sense." 

"You're really not that old." 

She walks. Eventually, sighs. "...I think Leareth - wanted this. A door to another world. Or, well - it's scary, right, whatever's on the other side might be - worse than we can imagine..." 

"Or it could be the best thing that ever happened to us. ...More likely something in between." 

Jisa is asleep again, and her feet hurt. Shavri stops walking. Sits down on a bench. Looks up at the sky. 

"I guess we'll know soon enough."