(- discontinuity -) 

Leareth is talking to Vanyel and there are so many things that he could say, wants to say, and can't. 

:A̷̜̐r̴̳̀e̴̤͌ ̶̯̃y̵͈͊o̵͍̚u̴͈͛ ̴͎̎ ̸͓͌ ̵͉̒.̷̮͘.̶̗̔.̷̤̎ ̷̮̊ ̴̼̈́ ̵̻͝a̴̗͑l̷͚͒l̴͇̓ ̷͎̄r̷̻͝ĩ̶̩g̴̖̍h̵͎͊t̸̛͜:

....this is probably setting some sort of record for 'stupidest question ever put into words.'

Oh gods.

:- I think I'm doing better than you?: 

(- discontinuity -) 

He wants to

There are so many things he cou

If it had happened a different year–

:Ĩ̸̳ ̶̻̋ẅ̸̗́i̷̜͒ș̷̆h̴̢̉ ̷͎͝a̸͍̓ ̶̺̔d̸͓͑i̶̫̎f̷̟̓f̷͎̋e̷̫͛ȓ̵ͅe̶͚̅n̷̞͛ț̵̊ ̶̘̓t̴͇̑h̸̭͐ì̷̩n̵̲̈́g̷̙̀ ̸͎̀ẖ̷̛ả̸̫d̴̠͗ ̷̳̈́h̴͈̐a̸̲͌p̸̧̓p̶̤̅ê̸̬n̴̛̰e̶̡̚d̶̫̽ ̶͖̉i̸̫͒n̸̞̐s̸͚̄t̸̞͌e̸̮͌a̴̭͗d̴̦̂ ̵͓̃o̷̥̚f̷̘́ ̶̜̃t̷̬̊h̶̥̑i̸͉̍s̴̫͝.̴͈͑:

He's so tired and he wants - what - why does it MATTER it's never mattered what he wants–

:I know. It's...all right. It'll be all right: 

(- discontinuity -)

:Ĩ̸͓ ̵͘ͅá̷̠m̴͖̀ ̴̜̑ṉ̴̽ô̵̬t̵͕̿ ̸̜̑s̴͓̐u̸͕̔r̷̝͘ḛ̴̕ ̸̣̕i̷̛̬f̷̫̾ ̵͖̿ý̴̧o̵̤̓ṵ̴̐ ̸̣̊r̵͚̈́e̷͇͘ḁ̴̒l̴̘̔i̶̤̎z̶̥̓e̷̦͠:

- what, oh -

:̷̘͊–I̸̖͒ ̶̮͌c̵͚͆ã̴̝n̷̅͜ ̷̢̔r̴̞͌e̸͊͜a̵͍̚d̷̻̈́ ̷̦̍a̶̳͝ḽ̵͝l̵̫͒ ̸̗͘ǒ̵̩f̶̨̚ ̷̫̂y̷̱͊ỏ̸̩ǘ̸̟r̷̯̓ ̸͈͠t̵̖͑h̶͉͂o̶̥͊u̵͖̕g̷͇̀ĥ̷̡t̸̯͒s̴̱̏ ̵̰̄:

- where is he, what, how...oh... 

:a̷͚͑n̶̩̋d̶͇͛ ̴̥̐s̷̙̑o̷̮̔ ̷̺̈́t̷̨͑ḧ̶́ͅa̵͗ͅṭ̷̆ ̸̱͑i̷͎͛s̵̥̽ ̷̲͑ṇ̵̄o̸̝̊t̸̺̀ ̵̯͝ṽ̵̱ě̸̯r̷̥̈́y̴̦̎ ̷̞̏c̵͕̅ò̶͙n̸͇͝v̵̹̒i̷͊ͅn̴͔̑c̶͎̓i̷͎̓n̷͓͠g̵̳̉:

...Huh? 

(Vanyel would really prefer Leareth wasn't reading all of his thoughts but also, somehow, being embarrassed about that isn't even close to the top of his stack of current concerns.)

:Leareth, is something -: what a STUPID QUESTION, :are you -: okay somehow even stupider, :- what's happening, I don't understand, are you - you keep -: 

Focus.

Leareth - one of the Leareths, at least, damn it he doesn't even know how many times he's been around this loop by now - pushes all of his emotions down and under and far away. 

:Ţ̵̉h̵̟́e̴̟̿ ̷̯͐P̷̯̂r̶̤̆o̷̤̔t̷̞̓o̶̻͆ ̵̘̇i̵͇̍s̸͔͊ ̵̫̀r̵̲̓u̶͝ͅn̶͚̏n̸̟̚i̵̥͘ń̸͓g̶̢̋ ̶̤̇á̷̘ ̷̬͝s̸̨͝i̴̤̓m̷̹̒u̵̺̒ľ̸͎å̶͓t̴̗͗i̶̝͌o̶̡͘n̴̢͊ ̸͔̍a̷͖̎n̵̨͋d̶͓̽ ̴̖̐w̸̡͑ḫ̸̛e̶̬̊n̵̛̰ ̸̭̏I̴̯̍ ̵̦̐è̶̞x̵̮̏č̵͜ę̸̈́ë̸͇́d̸̙̈́ ̸͇̐t̸̳͆ĥ̷̦ĕ̶͍ ̷͙̐š̷̬a̸̝͝f̵̗̀e̴̲̊g̴̭̐u̵̞̍a̸͚͆r̴͇͒d̷̥̈s̶̝̍ ̷̡̇ḭ̴́t̷̰̑ ̷͈͗ṣ̸̉h̸̛̠ù̸̯t̴͉́s̴̼̉ ̶̱̿i̵̖͝t̶̨̔ ̶͈̋d̵͇͑o̵̻͘w̷͓͛n̶̛͜ ̶̬̈à̸̱n̸̠̋d̷̮̑ ̴͕̒r̴̡̂ȅ̷̞s̸̩̒t̵̢̋a̵̟̾r̶̝̿t̶͉̊s̶͍̈ ̷̞̉ã̶͔ ̷̢̄ḓ̸̄i̸̗͝f̸̧̂f̶̲͌e̷̤̅r̷͕͛ȩ̸̈́n̷̘̐ẗ̷̜́ ̴͇͒o̸̖͑n̶̳͌ḙ̴̕:

That is maybe, literally, the worst thought Vanyel has ever needed to fit in his head, which given his life so far is really saying something. 

There's so much between them, words unsaid, words that can't be said now. Years, and the centuries and millennia before Vanyel was even born, and Vanyel doesn't know how tightly his life is strung between those cords of history laid in motion long before, how could he, Leareth would have explained it someday but there wasn't enough time - 

Leareth is thinking this and not having any emotions because emotions are banned right now. 

:I̵̗͝ ̸̨̈́n̸̫̄e̴͍͌e̵͔͒d̴̰͛ ̶̮̒ţ̶̾ỏ̵̮ ̵̡͐k̶͗ͅn̸̬̆o̶͙̓w̸͈͛ ̸̤̅i̸̺̎f̴͊ͅ ̵̤̅y̵̿͜ȯ̷̼ú̸̢ ̴̦͌h̶͑ͅa̶͉͑v̴͇͛ȩ̷͆ ̸͉̇ã̴͉n̷̡͂y̷̟̔ ̸̬̚c̷̡̕o̸̯̔n̷͕̔t̸̥͑e̶̺̍x̴͈̀t̵̞̀ ̸̲̎o̴̪̓n̴̨̄ ̵̩̀t̶̫̃h̵̩̔ė̵̠ ̷̹͒ǎ̴͖c̶̢͆t̷̪̿i̷͎͑v̸̳̒i̵̡̇ţ̴̈i̵͈͌e̶̘͗s̶͉̑ ̸̜͆ơ̴̭ḟ̴̩ ̸̩̋t̸̫̃h̵̖̅e̷̫̐ ̵̰̚S̷̜̓t̵͉̄a̷̟̐r̸̫̓-̵̤͌Ẽ̷͉y̴̩̕e̶̢̓d̴͐ͅ ̶̪̈Ģ̴̓o̴͕͆d̸̨͝d̵͔̅ȇ̸̳s̵̙͘s̴̮͆:

Everything about this is wrongbadawful and it doesn't matter, does it, why would how he feels about it matter. 

:...Uh, the Dhorisha Plains are a giant crater?: 

:T̷̮̒h̸̼̕ĕ̶̩y̷͎͠ ̸̨͆ẃ̸̬ȩ̴͛r̷̻͌e̷̡͌ ̸̹̃a̴̛͕ľ̵͔r̷̭̍ë̷͕́a̴͕̋d̷̹͛y̵̤͛ ̴̛̩a̵̗͝ ̸̺̏c̶̟͒r̶̞͋ḁ̸̄t̵̪́e̵͍͑ŗ̸̽:

:- What?: 

Nevermind. 

:Er, we haven't heard anything from k'Treva Vale. ...I assume you knew about k'Treva since you tried to kidnap me from there: 

...Leareth should probably...remember...doing that, and he's not sure if he doesn't due to being a low-quality upload of himself or just because whatever happened was delegated through several layers of his organization and there was a lot going on at the time. 

There isn't any point apologizing for it now, and he doesn't feel sorry because emotions are banned. 

He tries to think through the various considerations here. The main one is that it's been five months. 

:I̸̞̚ṱ̵̉ ̵̙͒c̶̹̏ó̵̠ŭ̶͜l̶̡͝d̷̫͑ ̶̙̋b̴̪͌e̴͎̕ ̴̤͛w̴͙̔o̴̹̎ȓ̸̘t̶͇͒h̵͈̚ ̵̜̓c̴̡͐o̸̱̚n̴̥̚t̷̪͗ả̵̺c̸̢̐t̷̩͘ĭ̵̖n̷͖̔g̶͇̋ ̸͔̕t̶̻̚ẖ̷̚e̸̠̽m̵̬͑ ̸̯̈f̸̭̅ȍ̷͕r̷̫̊ ̷̔͜m̴̛̙ȯ̶̱r̷͔͒e̶̼̋ ̶̧̈́ì̴̦n̶̰͠f̷̣͆ơ̶̖r̴͖̅m̸̟̉a̷̤͋t̵͈͝i̶͙͌o̵͎̒n̸͑ͅ:

:I'm pretty sure someone from your organization told the Heralds not to do that?: 

This is the point at which it would be very helpful if he were one original-high-fidelity Leareth instead of a vague buzzing cloud of lossy simulations continually being shut down and rebooted. Also it would be helpful if he had a physical body and could sit all the relevant people down in a room and talk to them face to face. 

Leareth cannot do that. 

: I̴̹͠ ̵̪̈́a̸̤͊m̸̓͜ ̷̭͋s̸̗̏ṕ̴̮e̷̟̕a̴̲̎k̵̤͘i̴̥͌ṇ̴̅g̸̞̀ ̸̅͜w̴̜͗i̷̱̚t̷̰̓h̶͇̄ ̶̔͜t̴̻͊ḫ̴̉ĕ̵̯m̶̻̽ ̴̨̓a̷̲̔l̷̪̊s̵̼͠o̶͍͂ :

̵̬̾
:̸̢̔ Y̵̺͆o̷̼͝ȗ̵͖ ̸̞̀c̷̦͌a̵̺͠ṅ̴̨ ̸̧̀h̸̠̔ã̵͙v̸̠́e̴̥͛ ̵̯̇t̵͙͠h̸̛̼ȩ̶̓ ̶̝̇H̸̡̏ḛ̶̂r̸̝̓ä̷͔́l̷͎̅d̷̹̾š̵̹ ̸̦͂c̵̜̓ĥ̶̘e̸̘̅c̸̯͐k̵͕̔ ̷̝̉i̴̙̚n̶̜̒ ̷͉̚.̸͉͋.̸̹̽.̵̣̓ ̶̰͛

what is time even

:...t̵͕͆ö̷͇́m̶̢͝ò̶͕r̶̖̒r̷̥͋ò̵͇ẇ̸̜?̸̪̀

:All right. I'll, er, do that: 

...There are about twenty different things that Vanyel wishes he'd said to Leareth before. He's been thinking about this a lot. A stupid and unhelpful amount really. He has lists. Most of them discarded and crumpled with half of the items crossed out and then shoved under his bed because he thought about burning them and then mysteriously couldn't bring himself to. 

:...Leareth?: 

: Ḯ̵̪ ̴̗̃à̶̡m̵̧̀ ̵̻̌ş̴͆t̶̛̫i̸̳̓l̷͍̑l̶̙͠ ̴̲͗h̴̗͘e̸̞̕r̸͍͋e̵̪̔ :

:Are you even going to remember any of this later? Or - is this you just going to disappear -?: 

(- discontinuity -)

Goddamnit focus he has to

- what where -

Vanyel needs him t

He wants NOT THIS–

Eventually, with great effort,

: İ̴̘f̶̺̕ ̶̣͠i̷͉͗ṫ̷̺ ̷̮͝i̸̹͌s̴̯̓ ̶̛͈v̴͚̋é̸͔r̵͕̂y̷͎͝ ̶̘͆ï̴̭m̴̻̀p̴̨̀ọ̶̊ṟ̵͘t̸̯̒a̷̮̍n̸̓͜t̷͉̽ ̴̱̏:

̷̤͋
:̴̼̈́ t̶͖͘h̴̳͊e̷̦͠n̴̦͠ ̸͈͗I̸̛̳ ̶͓̿ẅ̸̝i̴̛͖ḽ̸̔l̷̙̄ ̵̬̆a̴͙̽s̷̗̃k̵̢̂ ̵͈̈́t̸̩͊h̸̻͑ė̸̡ ̵͖̾P̷̙̆r̸͍͛o̷̜̒t̷̬̔ö̴̠ ̸̯̍t̸̜̆õ̷̱ ̵͎͌ŕ̵̝e̷̟͊c̴̜̽o̷̡͗r̴̩͝d̷̠̋ ̸̗̚ĩ̴̤t̴͕̉ :

̸̪̉
:̴̜̎ a̸̡͘n̷̜͒d̷̡͐ ̶͚̈́ṫ̸͈e̸̟͝l̵̮̓l̸̛̟ ̸͙͒i̶͈̍t̴̘̆ ̷̖̇t̶͎͘ó̷̰ ̵̪̊a̶̯͠ĺ̷̝l̷̜̏ ̵̹͋o̴̞͐f̵͇͐ ̸͕̾ṫ̶̹h̶̤̉e̴̘͂ ̴͍̍L̵̯̋e̵͍͂a̵͉͋r̴̙͛e̵̛̩t̷̚ͅĥ̶̺s̷͈̒ ̸̭̚ì̷̳t̸̝̐ ̴͖͊r̶̖͂ũ̸̹n̷̖̿s̴͓͘ :