"I would've angled for a threesome," Amriac protests.

"What's he doing to Fredrick?" asks Cam.

"- he's just automatically settled into treating him as a trusted confidante who will naturally have lots to say on this two-hundred-page package of humanitarian interventions and Fredrick clearly has such a crush on him and he was definitely serious about the century of moping and should be endeavoring harder to be less crushable."

"...yeah kind of a dick move."

"Yup."

"Is, like, everyone secretly gay, is that why I have dated all the girls in Hogwarts."

"Don't you bring it up with him."

"If everyone were secretly gay presumably this would include the girls of Hogwarts?"

"Girls come in gay? What do they even do -"

"...this level of ignorance had not previously occurred to me," says Cam.

"He's not bad in bed for someone who'd ask that," says Amriac.

"Didn't ask."

"Let's just go back upstairs."

Stairs. Ascension.

"I will probably say something to my alt but I'm not sure what."

"Can't really help you there, I don't think."

"I am not clear on whether a fuller account of 'they were sniping at each other' would help me but I suppose I can also ask my alt for that - it's also plausibly partially a cultural difference but he's a me, he should have noticed the cultural difference -"

"I didn't anticipate a need for detailed notes on the sniping, unfortunately, so I don't have anything more comprehensive than 'god that's annoying'."

"I'm not sure if I'd be less or more vaguely annoyed if I thought my alt was going to go for it."

"More annoyed less vague?" suggests Cam.

"Sounds about right. It's not that consulting Fredrick on humanitarian projects is wrong it's just that I can't shake the feeling he ought to be able to do it more optimally, whereas if I didn't think he meant it on the moping I could have real complaints."

Nod.

"Anyway."

They were working on quite a few projects. They get to work on them.

One of those projects is getting every Dementor left in the world. "Can you conjure for them?"

"...might be able to get the cloaks or something even if the Dementors are too magic..." He tries. He gets a bunch of little dioramas of Hogwarts before he stops short of making more surroundings-of-Dementors. They're missing chunks, some of them, presumably too magic.

" - so we can get some fairies and go fetch them all, then."

"I bet Miranda would be happy to kill them too but yes, the fairy method works."

"Trust me, I'd love to have Miranda murder them all but that is probably wrong when we have a nonlethal solution."