Weak smile. Better. I think. You're really cool, you know that?

I should tell you - if I die, but you figure out how I got here, how to get the message out -

There's another thought starting to gestate, in the back of Shavri's mind, but it's not out in words yet, and it can wait. 

:Sure. Just let me get you that hot milk first. Right now I...can't actually stop the Proto from pulling nourishment from you, so the best we can do is try to feed you enough for you and it both: 

She slips out, checks herself for any Proto, and heads for the kitchen. 

She's still not infected. It doesn't, actually, seem very contagious, lots of human diseases are worse on that front. 

So far. 

Julie lies down and tries taking deep breaths and shivers.

Shavri is back shortly with sweet cider in a waterskin and more of the broth and more milk-and-honey, this time mixed half with cream. 

:Here. This is as much nutrition as I can cram into one cup of liquids. Do your best with it, all right? It's fine if it takes you a while. How's your stomach feeling?: 

She has a closer look at Julie's stomach and gut. Maybe she can use her delicate-poking strategy to convince the Proto film to relocate a little and let Julie absorb the nutrients she needs? 

The proto likes hanging out in Julie's stomach and gut and is reluctant to be poked away but not unpokeable. 

Julie will do her best with the liquids but they're kind of nauseating after all this not-eating she's been doing! 

:It'll get easier, I promise - you just need to get your body used to food again: 

Shavri's mindvoice is distracted - she's busy trying to, via discreetly timed miniscule taps of Healing-energy, herd the Proto out of a lengthwise strip of Julie's intestine - it can have the rest if it wants. She Heals the underlying irritation from wherever she's able to free up. 

Eventually she re-emerges, rubbing her eyes and blinking. Her head isn't hurting yet but she feels a bit dazed. :...Gods, sorry, it's easy to lose track of time doing that. You can explain the message thing now, if you're up for it: 

If you figure out how to get to my world, and I'm dead, you're going to want to tell the ship the pilot's dead and put comms and docking on autopilot. I was going to Eros, border there isn't super strict, you should have signal well before you get to the part where they want to know your business and the ship's registration and insurance, you click on this - she demonstrates a marking on the screen of the hand terminal - and then this, to set your profile live and start looking for matches.

The terminal changes to show a shirtless picture of a man of Shavri's ethnicity, about thirty, handsome with very generic features. 

The pic's fake, Julie says. Everyone'll notice, the poster in the background is a dead giveaway, so I won't get many matches, but that's fine. It says I'm a dude named Lionel Polanski, which is a name Dawes'll know to look for. That's all you have to do, depending how much you're trying to avoid attention you can scrap the terminal after that.

That - wasn't a very good explanation, was it. 's hard to think.

:It's enough for me to figure it out if I have to, I think. And - hopefully you'll be able to think better when you're not so weak: 

The silent 'if' hangs unspoken in the air between them. 

Shavri sighs. :I - we should talk. Sorry, I know you're foggy, but...you should know what's going on: She takes a deep breath. :I don't know how to cure the Proto. I'm sorry. It's - there's too much of it, it's too intertwined with you, damaging it tends to damage you even more. Short of a really huge breakthrough, I - I think the best I can do is slow it down, and get you a bit stronger so you can...have some time to figure things out...: 

Yeah.

Might be - something they can do - at home. She doesn't really believe it.

:Maybe: Shavri rubs the back of her neck, which aches with tension. :So far the thing that works best without harming you is - so it's sort of based on research I was doing with nerves, you can use Healing to poke at them and make them fire off messages. Anyway it seems like something similar works on the Proto, and I can - convince it to leave vital organs alone. It's possible I could get it to - stop growing, stop taking so much from you, and then it'd be more like one of the slow-growing cancers that people can live with for a long time...: 

- huh. That'd - do you think you can?

:I don't know. Maybe. It's the best idea I've got so far: Shrug. :The Proto - learns from what happens. It's scary but maybe I can use it: 

She's not intentionally sending it but she's thinking that her father would kill for what Shavri probably now can see about the protomolecule. Has killed for less, if she's at all right about what plans were underway.  

She can't think of a good plan here and she's not sure if it's because her head is fuzzy or because there isn't really a good plan here. 

Do you, uh, know anyone who could make progress on figuring out how I got here and how to get back.

:...I don't, sorry. Maybe Savil, she's the most experienced at magic, but I don't know if magic is even what we need here. Kilchas knows things about astronomy, if that helps. Once we're back in Haven we can ask: 

Okay. Thanks. Magic...might be what we need, honestly. Astronomy says this shouldn't have happened.

:Mmm, that's a point:

Shavri feels too tired and frazzled to think about this now. She settles herself against the wall, absently rubbing her breast, which is aching again. :Have some more broth. I want to see if I can get the Proto to let you absorb more of your food: She isn't sure how, but she's starting to shape better intuitions for how the Proto responds to her poking. 

Healing-trance is calm and peaceful and soothing, and the Proto is sort of pretty to Look at, however scary it is. She sinks deeper and further into her Sight with something like relief. Tries to get in even closer, this time, to see if the ripples in the Proto's life-energy or its very fine structure resolve any clearer with more practice. 

There's a lot going on at a very small level. In some ways, the smaller she gets, the smaller it feels like she should get to really understand what's going on; it's happening at a very fine level, much smaller than the corresponding processes in the body. It seems to broadly be doing three things: replicating itself, forming crystal structures and substructures that channel nutrients to the crystal structures, and imitating parts of Julie. 

Huh. 

A long time later, she surfaces, and tries to fumblingly explain to Julie what she saw. 

Huh. Do you have, uh, microscopes, I don't know when those got invented...

:I don’t know - I can’t quite follow what you mean so probably not? We have telescopes. For looking at stars. Is it like that?:

Kinda, only it's for looking at small things. I don't know how to build them. I could maybe figure it out if I wasn't so tired. Lenses are involved?

Shavri nods. :That might be enough for Sandra to figure it out, honestly. Don’t worry about it right now, just try to get some rest. I’m going to -: she stops, winces. :Actually, first I need to go breastfeed my daughter: The neighbor has a little one too and can feed her when Shavri is here - Jisa won’t starve - but she’s getting quite uncomfortable again. :Do you need anything else?:

Headshake. How old?

:Almost three months. She came early, though, so she’s little: