"We, uh, brought brownies?" says the woman standing next to him. "Wow, you've been having a bad day, huh." She winces slightly and adds, "Sorry, uh, to... uh, sorry."

maybe if she scrunches even SMALLER and covers her head with her arms even HARDER there will STOP BEING THINGS

"Do you want to come outside and - be outside," Tintin asks Ari somewhat desperately.

"Yes please," he says thickly.

Tintin heads inside, crouches next to Chantal, and speaks softly, as one might to a frightened animal or a crying girl.

"I'm taking your soulmate outside," he says, "and you can be alone, and if you want you can come out with us later, and if you don't then you don't have to. Alright?"

...okay. That is an allowed thing. Maybe.

She manages the tiniest nod, really more of a rock, a shifting of the whole arms-over-head assemblage. A sniffle emerges. Then she goes back to trying to curl up the smallest that anyone has ever huddled in the history of very sad people.

"So," Tintin says to Ari once they're all outside and sitting at one of the patio tables scattered around the lawn, "I suppose I don't have to ask how your day's been."

"Pretty well shirt, yeah. Sh- yep. Pretty forking bad."

"...is there a personal decision not to say fork going on here, or... Wow, okay, that's happening."

"I'm so happy to help you with this step on your personal journey."

Snort. "Thanks."

"I suppose we'll go around the table and introduce ourselves, how's that? Tariq Saint-Martin, call me Tintin, professor of ethics and philosophy. I like white wine and the work of René Descartes. Pass to the left?"

"Ariel Kaltmann, call me Ari, ethical slut and former architecture student. I like... most things... but sex and architecture hold special and distinct places in my heart."

"Veronica Chaplin. Still processing the fact that apparently I died of being hit by a car while jaywalking, like some kind of modern Aesop."

"Oh, that sucks. I apparently had a seizure and drowned at the beach. Which - I mean, everybody's death traumatizes somebody, but - I dunno. There were kids there."

"Before we know the words for it, before we know that there are words, out we come, bloodied and squalling, with the knowledge that for all the compasses in the world, there's only one direction, and time is its only measure." Tintin shakes his head. "Regrettably untrue. You have my sincerest condolences, Ari."

"Wow, yeah, that sucks. I guess dying usually does."

Did her death traumatize somebody? Is she supposed to care about that? Whoever ran her over probably didn't have a great day but she kind of feels like that's their problem and not hers.

Tintin glances at her thoughtfully, then back to Ari. "I'm sorry to ask this of you, but would you explain what caused you to be in the state in which we found you? I'm doing some research, you might say - trying to figure out why this place is so, well, poorly optimized."

"Well... I wasn't in a great way to start, what with dying. And Johanna said some things that reminded me of my mother, and how she... wasn't the best person? And then I met my soulmate, and she's a girl from my high school, like, she was nice enough but she didn't leave an impression - and we get to the house and the architecture is kind of okay in some ways and utterly batshirt in others, and Chantal's having an even worse time of that because she's shy and it's designed for me when it's designed for anyone at all, and - and I tried to fix it, got some dividing panels in, but - she doesn't even want me - sorry, just - my soulmate isn't attracted to me at all and it's kind of forking me up."

...oh shit, wait, what's the Good Person move here? She could sympathize with him but then she'd be kind of being a dick to Tintin??? And also it probably wouldn't ring very true because she doesn't actually feel all that sympathetic? Maybe she should sympathize with the crying girl?? No, then she's being a dick to Ari... ugh, being good is exhausting.

"Sorry to hear that," she says vaguely. "Do you, uh, want a brownie." Shove baked goods in people's faces, prevent them from saying words she has to respond to, take credit for her soulmate's generosity, win-win-win.

"Sure, I guess."

Ari takes a corner piece and nibbles on it. 

Tintin is squinting at Veronica, but stops when she looks at him, instead turning back to Ari.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure by now you've noticed that many things are wrong here, and I think the soulmate matching system may be the most fundamentally broken. I'm not sure yet if our true soulmates are around here somewhere, or if... well. I'm beginning to come up with a hypothesis about our situation, but it's not very polished - I'd need to consult an expert."

"Well. That's better than not having any idea what's going on. This brownie is very nice," he notes aside to Veronica.

"Thanks!" she says, feeling incredibly fake and surreal about how chipper she sounds. "Baked it myself, with a little help from my soulmate!" Wait, no, obvious lie, turn it around. "That's a joke, he did all the work." Humility is a good person thing, right?

Ari chuckles. "You're very lucky, then. He's cute, too, that has to help."