"There are a lot of things they say would make the heckin line go down.   . . . I think you would be shocked at the intelligence of some of the people who genuinely believe it. Because if they disbelieve it they get told to go back to Tian Xia slip for real.

. . . What's it like, where you're from?" She feels a pang of anticipatory jealousy, even though she knows basically what the River Kingdoms are like already, and that it's better than Osirion in some ways for women specifically but overall has fewer powerful people and therefore less nice everything and so quality of life is worse.

"Well, for one thing, it snows in the winter, so that automatically makes it better than here. Especially for someone so... Well-insulated." Belly poke. She couldn't bear to pass that opportunity up.

Purr. Head pat.

Tentative offer of dried meat.

"Tell me more. What about the people?"

She has the sufficiently-tainted, ritual-clinching raw wolf cut, for whenever she gets Katie ready.

"They're not the best, but they've got a hell of a lot less of a stick up their collective asses than these heatbrained Lawtards. Gods, you're still eager to feed me? Fine, I guess the lovemaking freed up enough space for one more bite."

-- That doesn't sound like it's very much space.


It doesn't feel like it's very much space, either.





"You do have to eat this--" she holds up the plated cut of raw wolf, which looks at least human-manageable "to pledge yourself to Urgathoa, but we've got plenty of time."

"Lawtards. Heh.

Where you're from--can people just build things, iterate on ideas, experiment freely and sell the fruits of their labor?" That doesn't square with Tazich's understanding of the River Kingdoms, or with logic, frankly. How would anyone stay Good, or Lawful?

"Well, it depends, but like, mostly. There is this one country that I think is considered part of the RKs that's run by a ninth circle wizard who claims he's a god and will execute anyone who says otherwise and is basically mini-Cheliax, but they don't count. Lots of leaders that petty and egotistical, but most of them don't have the capacity to prevent their subjects from leaving because they're not ninth circle wizards, so even if their citizens can't gang up and kill them they can usually just leave and the next warlord over will be grateful for the extra hands. People die a lot so we've got more arable land than people to work it."

The "people die a lot" part is familiar but the RK rate still sounds worryingly high.

"Is he a god? Why don't the actual gods just smite him? Who do people worship up there, anyway? How do they stop you from building better plows, isn't anybody working on that?"

"Probably not but you never know, why doesn't Pharasma smite you, mostly the big Chaotic gods plus our local patroness Hanspur, and I don't know but probably because all the smart people are too busy learning wizardry so they can fight in all the constant wars."

Hm. It doesn't sound that bad, actually . . . stop it, Tazich, the Abyss would in fact be that bad.

"Pharasma doesn't smite me because I'm not stealing mindshare from Her.

Those sure do sound like some constant wars."


[ Squirm. ]

"Eh. You get used to it." Nuzzle. Tazich is cute when she squirms.

Katie is warm. Tazich wants to throw her around. Instead she just runs her warm hands firmly over what little muscle Katie has, down her arms and then back and then legs, like a carpenter checking the integrity of her project.

"Appraising what you've got to work with, are we?" She playfully squeezes the tiefling's meaty upper arm.

Flex. Smile.

"-- I suppose so."

Mainly what she's got to work with is Katie's tummy. She does appraise it, then. Eyes and hands.

"Mmm, yeah, this thing's gonna be important. Gonna have to stretch it out a lot before I can eat enough to maintain a physique like that." She moved her hand from Tazich's bicep to her tummy to indicate that she means both the muscle and the fat.

Hum. Tummytrace.



"That's the other thing. I think Somayyeh noticed. You have an attitude toward food and an appetite like one of us, already, without even trying. The other three eat a lot and don't look like Teg and I, sure, but--and I'm not saying you're a lost cause even if you are a difficult case, medically--I would have assumed they had lots of food in the River Kingdoms if people are dying all the time." Inquisitive look.

"Well, y'know, I'm picky, and I have a tendency to self-neglect, and like, I'm a princess in the sense that my dad bosses around a bunch of guys with swords but it's not really quite like being a princess here or in Cheliax or Taldor. People die a lot, but crops get trampled or burnt or neglected because the farmers die. Weird that they eat as much as you and don't gain weight even though the kind of undead they are can, though. "

"Not as much as us. Maybe half? Still a lot more than ordinary Osirians. It's actually a subject of great research interest for all of us."

Tummytrace.

aaaaaaagh so is Katie hungry all the time oh no that's too terrible she can't be hungry



"Picky? What do you like?"

"Fresh fish. Rare meat. Sour fruit. Sweets."

dude that's exactly what Tazich likes

wait

"Do they have dairy products up there?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"That's the only major thing you're missing from my list of favorite foods. If you count pastries among sweets."

"Oh, yeah, I like cheese too, but mainly as a component of larger meals, rather than just with bread or crackers or whatever, because the kinds of cheese I like are the really salty ones and those need moisture to balance out the saltiness."

This makes a lot of sense. She mentally notes it down. "What about cream and butter and stuff? I mean, butter's kind of a seasoning, but."

"Yes and yes. Well, I like cream in savories. Not so much in sweets. Gods, if you're surprised I'm skinny, have you always been this girthsome, or were you just a little twig like me before the vampire or some other zaftig cultist swept you off your feet, turned you into a weird living-undead hybrid, and bulked you out 'til your arms could fell cops in one strike and your arse couldn't fit in chairs? Is that how Urgathoanism works?"