Mar 06, 2021 3:39 AM
giant snakes? in my magical boarding school? it's more likely than you think
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Nothing can keep them down.

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Heee.

Yeah.

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And Wednesday evening - and their first History class - rolls around.

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Here goes. Ellie has the "text"books, notebook, note paper, pencil, and quill. (Hopefully fewer headaches this year.)

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No headache as of Professor Lockhart walking in the room!

She might have a frustration headache by the end of class, though.

For one: he has pictures of himself, mostly in various exotic locales, decorating the history classroom. A stark contrast to Professor Quirrel, who'd had images, copies, or even examples of various historic artifacts, artwork, and documents.

For two: he introduces himself with a list of all his accomplishments and rewards - "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award — but I don’t talk about that," with a sly smile.

For three: he gives them a quiz to determine if they read his books... Which is entirely about himself and his own adventures, rather than about history.

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What the fuck.

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Their class is looking increasingly rebellious over the course of the lesson.

After, in which they've learned nothing, Anathema wonders, as the students are filing out and they're just out of the professor's earshot: "Wonder what it'll take to get him fired..."

There's scattered laughter.

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"Probably the fifth years failing their OWLs."

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"Eesh, yeah. Wouldn't want to be them," one of their roommates says.

"Maybe he won't notice if we put cardboard cutouts of ourselves in our seats, as long as they look impressed enough," another says.

Anathema giggles. "What can he do if we just don't attend class, anyways?"

The students all exchange glances - "Uh, give us all detention, take away House points? And if we avoid detention - take away more House points. Also give us all failing grades, which... Matters for going to third year History, I think?" someone says. "But I don't think it really gets on our record if next year's History professor lets us in anyways..."

From Sophie - the Hufflepuff who organized the complaints against Snape last year - "Well if everyone avoids his classes, that'll even out... We'll just be competing for which House has the least negative points."

"I think we should try to compete for the most negative," Anathema says, laughing more.

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"That doesn't help with learning the material."

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"Yeah. We can study a bit on our own I guess? But having an actual teacher really helps..."

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"Are there TAs for this year?"

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"Like, one," one of the Hufflepuffs says. "He's the same one as last year, actually. I don't know he can take over the whole class really well, though."

"Better than nothing," a Ravenclaw says.

One of the muggleborns groans. "Man, my primary school sometimes had bad teachers but I dunno ever this bad. Why's it so different with wizards."

"Well, there's a different professor every year apparently? So I guess Headmaster Dumbledore's just running out of people to hire at all... And mom said you shouldn't go into history in muggle university, because there's a lot more history majors than history jobs, so they've probably got tons of extra people to hire hanging around... Bet that lets you be pickier."

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"Professor Dumbledore should hire some of them, then."

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"...Can muggles even see Hogwarts?"

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"He can invent another use for dragon's blood. Making muggles able to see Hogwarts."

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She giggles. "We should suggest that to him, then."

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"Wonder if he'd be any happier about this petition."

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"Maybe he's just as annoyed by Lockhart as we are."

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"He doesn't have to sit through his class," she grumbles.

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"Probably has to listen to him in staff meetings, though."

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"I think that's a little different."

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"Might be a different kind of annoying."

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"I don't think getting him thrown out's an emergency... Still, we should let Professor Reynolds know we don't like him."

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