"Why bother? They're fine. Heaven controls Avernus now. They'll get -" vague handwave - "moral education and houses and stuff -"

"...don't you think they'd rather be alive??"

"- I mean, yes, but they'd think it's odd, if I did it. We're not close. Maybe if you've moved back to Corentyn you know them better."

" - Leareth, dear, did you not tell her that you are the King of Cheliax."

Leareth has been busy taking notes, deep in thought, and it takes him a moment to look up. "What? - Oh, no, I definitely told them! I am not sure how it could have avoided coming up, really, since my being around was part of why Aroden felt able to go for the Starstone at all." 

"I - wasn't paying attention."

<She - was upset> Mhalir explains.

Probably Carissa has a point, he thinks vaguely, that it'd be better if he talked to her. But he's so tired and - right now he sort of just wants to curl up here, where he does feel safe, and let someone else do all of the things for a little while. They'll be back to the Yeerk ship soon enough and then he'll have far too much to deal with again. 

"Well. We live in Egorian. We might move the capitol back but it matters less now that there are Gates."

"Because you are the Queen of Cheliax."

"Yes."

Snort.

"Who is your Aroden planning to put in charge when he ascends?"

"I think he's planning to not, not for a while, Pharasma's mad at him and that's relevant to whether he can pull it off."

- nod. 

"Anyway I don't love my parents or anything but I do prefer them alive to dead, so I'm going to arrange alive? It doesn't have to be more complicated than that. I mostly don't talk to anyone I knew from before but I still think I'd feel worse about things if none of them could even have a future in the country I was building."

"We don't really do anything in Cheliax particularly."

"...with spellsilver that cheap you could - get every village paired mirrors, get every kid a headband, we're doing a thing with illusion-movies -"

"We do have movies, Earth's really good at that."

"Leareth - Mhalir - isn't going to think of all of that stuff, because he hardly has any hobbies other than magic research. You know this stuff."

"You know this stuff. Maybe they can get you on loan."

"I'm not - smarter than you - probably I am less smart on account of not having every fancy object money can buy - are those goggles of Trueseeing -"

"They're useful. I doubt you are smarter than me but you're clearly something-yer than me and I don't think you can inspire me into it."

"That's why I thought maybe if it was not the case that everyone you know is dead you'd inspire yourself into it by - having any reason to think of it at all, as - a part of who you are, not a tragedy you're running from -"

"You can see how you feel about it once you've murdered everybody's parents and grandparents and dead kid sisters -"

Ouch.

He - no, it's not the right thought to think that he deserved that, 'deserved' isn't how anything works, but...Mhalir understands it. He's been in Carissa's head for a long time, after all. 

And maybe he understands it enough on his own behalf, too. He was there. He saw the cities turned to glass too, through her eyes. 

He remembers the look in Ma'ar's eyes, when he woke from nightmares about it, after he read the memories out of Carissa's mind. 

Leareth gets up, abruptly, and paces. 

It's not going to help to be distressed about this, he's very aware of that - aware that this other Carissa Sevar isn't his and doesn't want to be his and wouldn't consider that either of them owes the other anything. And yet. 

:- She needs the opposite of this: he Mindspeaks to his Carissa. :Can we. Is there a way to - not involve her - should we offer to bring her somewhere - I could rent her an apartment in Axis, if that would be better...:

He doesn't know what would be better. And it would be worse for Mhalir, surely...