I don't like, need it to transform or anything. Though it is kind of funny when it sits on my head on the train and nobody can see it.

Oh, you're not, like, Haru's familiar or something? So this means he can stand up and bring the fluff with him?

No. I make contracts with anyone who has the potential and is ready to make a wish. It is quite happy to nestle in his arms and be carried, apparently. The nurse doesn't notice it.

A... wish...? Okay hang on can you just go through the 101 intro with me, if we go with whatever questions I think to ask I'm gonna just be confused all the time.

A contract is set into motion with a wish! I grant the wish, which is limited only by the strength of the feelings of the one who wishes it, and then that hope and joy becomes the power of the magical person, who can use their abilities to fight witches and use the seeds witches leave behind to replenish their magic.

The... seeds?

When a witch is defeated, it leaves behind a Grief Seed.

They're these creepy looking black doodads. My gem thingy gets less bright if I use a lot of magic, and I can brighten it up again with a grief seed till it's 'full', and then Kyubey whisks it away so it won't have a chance to hatch into another witch.

Gem thingy?

You might have seen it on the back of my glove. Usually it's a ring. It's technically 'me' now, and apparently remotely operating my body is amazing for dyspraxia, who knew. Well, I knew, actually, I asked ahead of time, I would be very bad at fighting witches if I were falling over all the time.

...wait, huh? Hold on, come again?

My soul is a rock now, I find it very convenient.

Souls are real? Hold on you're not about to tell me that fucking, like, God is real too, I have all this homosexuality to repent of if he is.

No god as far as I know, let alone such a specifically opinionated one. But there's magic and there's a thing convenient to gloss as a 'soul'.

Okay. Good. Now back to the previous topic what do you mean your soul is a rock and you're remotely piloting your body, are you, like, inside a little control room or, what do you mean—

It feels completely normal for almost all moment to moment purposes, I'm just not ontologically dependent on my brain any more.

This nerd uses such fucking complicated words for absolutely no goddamn reason.

Almost all? Is there some specific way you're not the same? 

If this clown is about to tell Yutaka that he can't cum anymore...

I can run without falling over! But I think if it weren't for that I could have not noticed, if I didn't know.

Do you still have to, like, use the bathroom and eat and stuff?

That seems like a personal question, if you're considering taking the plunge ask Kyubey about that kinda thing.

He's in the call isn't he? I wasn't aiming my questions at you personally if he's the better person to answer. 

Pet pet pet.

If you make a contract you will still have normal biology unless you do magic to change that.

...you can change stuff about your body? What kind of stuff?

Because he wouldn't say no to an extra couple of inches, he might be able to get over the whole being a fucking rock remotely piloting his body like a puppet for benefits like that.

If you have an idea, I can guess if you might be able to do it, but different wishers can do different things. Swan-san has particularly good healing powers for example.

Oh. People get different kinds of powers? ...I don't know why I'm surprised, the sailor senshi got different powers.

He is not going to ask the fluff if he can get any inches. He does not want the fluff having opinions about him like that. Plus it would feel very wrong, his voice sounds kind of like a kid's and the thought of talking about that with him squicks Yutaka out on a gut level. 

What happens if you lose your rock? ...or lose your body, I guess.