"What needs to be true about something, for it to be you?"

"...I feel like that is very obvious so maybe I'm missing the point of the question. I need to be...having some kind of experiences."

"What needs to be true about the 'I' that is having some kind of experiences? If you get turned into a statue experiences will continue to happen, just not to you; if you get turned into a devil..."

"It started as me and then got to the person it is by having experiences."

"You pretty sure that's all that's going on?"

"I am not usually pretty sure of things."

"Well, if something else were going on would the devil be you or not?"

"It depends on what the other thing is but I think at least sometimes yes?"

"What's it depend on?"

"I am not thinking of a lot of things you could do to a person that don't cash out as 'experiences' but, uh, if you cast Feeblemind on me I don't particularly think that would be me, until it was fixed."

"Delete all your memories? All at once or piecemeal, take your pick. Directly affect what you care about, like a heavy duty Suggestion? In case they don't want to do you the courtesy of presenting a list of beliefs and heresies and giving you a while. Enchantment-type effects in general, really. I guess being enchanted is sort of like having an experience but it isn't just an experience."

"I think you can make a case that while they are actively putting new thoughts in my head it's not me but once they stop it's me, just with the experience of having had the thoughts put in. If the paladins want to cause me to suddenly believe they're right and then take the spell off but now I know how believing they're right works they can absolutely do that. I think if I didn't have any memories at all including memories that are like - knowing how to do magic - that probably wouldn't be me but I know petitioners lose some when they die because you don't have the body that was part of your system for recalling them, and I have never been too upset about that. I guess I would trade a lot of money or time to avoid it if that were an option."

"I suppose that's a perspective.

Why do you think existing's better than not existing?"

"That one also seems really obvious. I spent most of eternity not existing, and now I do, and I want to keep doing that." Her voice gets a little bit choked up and she is furious with herself about it.

"Is all possible existing better than not existing?"

"Yes."

"For everybody?"

She looks slightly confused. "I don't expect them to share my priorities?"

"So if somebody dies and gets the door option, and they're like 'wow, both those alternatives sound really unpleasant' and puts mustard on their head and walks into Abbaddon, you're not like oh, no, what a tragedy?"

"I don't think it would be emotionally healthy to get invested in what other people are doing with themselves. I guess I would - expend resources to cause the person on duty at the door to be someone who is better at the pitch for Hell?"

"For Hell, or for the souls?"

"- I was motivated by thinking about the souls. It is a bonus that it's also good for Hell."

"Do you think an effective salesman would convince them that going to Hell instead was better than ceasing to exist by successfully appealing to the soul's values or by some other process?"

"...I have no idea what effective sales tactics are, I'm an arms and armor enchanter."

"I mean, I think effective sales in this situation probably looks like lying about the accommodations, what I'm trying to get at is do you think it's in the soul's best interest by its own lights to keep existing even in Hell and the ones who choose Option Mustard are just confused somehow?"