"Well I don't know! I don't know what you're looking for! And while we're at it I'm also very unclear on whether your objection is actually that you think I don't want to marry you, or whether it's in fact that you don't want to marry me, because those are very different situations and I probably only want to argue out of one of them. But - ugh, look, I'm just going to say the thing I was going to say before you asked me a completely different question instead of answering the question I asked you, okay, because I don't think I have a great handle on what you're asking but I know what I was trying to say before.
"I trust you. Not because you're Avistani, which if anything is sort of a mark against people on the trustworthiness front. And not even because you just saved my life, although that's an excellent example of the sort of behavior that leads me to believe that you're worth trusting. And I think that you ought to trust me, because - I acknowledge that I am kind of a disaster who might run out of time at any point and be called on to do horrible things for my patron, because magic doesn't come free unless you're a sorcerer. There is some level on which I am not the sort of person that anyone should trust, not to entwine their life with and commit themselves to even in the case where I am being controlled by forces beyond our understanding. But - you can at least know that I am the sort of friend who will, if I think you are in danger of being dragged to hell, drop everything to prevent it.
"I think that this sort of relationship is rare, between people. I won't claim that it's so rare as to be actually alien to most people, but it's not the sort of relationship that is trivial to create, or that a given person can expect to fall into many times in their life. It's not the sort of relationship that you create by going on first dates with lots of people. I think that it is valuable, and perhaps even one of the most important possible elements of a marriage, if it is something that you can possibly have within your marriage.
"I also think that it is more difficult for some people to achieve this sort of relationship than for others. I'm pretty bad at forging relationships of any kind at the best of times, but more importantly than that, I'm a witch, and on some level I don't think that I'm the sort of person that anyone should trust, not except under very specific circumstances or unless a truly unusual amount of trust has been forged over the course of many individual dangerous encounters. At this point I don't know how I could possibly build up a comparable level of trust with someone who I had not adventured with, and I don't actually want to adventure with anyone I don't already trust at all, so I'm not sure how such a thing would happen.
"I - suppose that you may be right, that if I were not a witch and were instead an ordinary person, I probably shouldn't marry you, and should instead explore my options. But if I weren't a witch I would just want to marry Tariq again, although I suppose I probably wouldn't have the money to do that and would be stuck in the situation I was when I left Mut, having considered and rejected everyone else who was interested in me, because I was in love with someone I couldn't have, and I couldn't respect anyone else while I was comparing them to him. And I think that is not entirely unlike the situation I find myself in now. I doubt that I would be able to respect anyone who was willing to marry me without having relied on me in a series of incredibly desperate situations, and I doubt that I would be able to respect anyone who wanted to marry me while I felt this way about one of my adventuring companions, not with all of the very good reasons why most people shouldn't want to marry me. At least not unless they had some other extremely compelling reason to want to join forces with me in particular regardless of my attitude towards them or likeliness to turn evil and randomly do horrible things, like if they were a really obsessive doctor, or something, and if such a person existed I would probably already have met them in Alkenstar. Which I didn't.
"So I don't actually think there's any point in going out of my way to evaluate anyone else, not unless you're genuinely opposed to you-marrying-me and not just me-marrying-you, and can explain why in words I can understand. Because otherwise I already know that I won't respect them, and I've been putting off marrying someone I don't respect for almost two years, now, and I like to think I'm still not desperate enough to give up on it, at least not until I've thoroughly exhausted attempts at having someone who I do."