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Nov 25, 2020 5:20 AM
volare AU where leareth comes back without a broken lifebond
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"Uh, it's a little easier to think around but I don't know if that's just having different facts to think with."

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"Mmm. That makes sense." 

They can cuddle some more and eventually eat dinner and then it's finally a reasonable bedtime, though Leareth has been sleepy for a while before that. 

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Belrun wraps him in her arms and sleeps, murmuring sad nouns.

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Leareth is awake before her, and lies still waiting for her to wake up; he can feel the presence of her tightly-shielded mind, with Thoughtsensing, but he can't feel her the way he should be able to and it's a distracting note of wrongness, he keeps poking at it.

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"Lemon," she says, and then she yawns and wakes up. "- hi."

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"Good morning." Leareth starts leaning in to kiss her, out of habit, and then remembers that he's currently very tiny, feels weird about this, and stops. 

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"- yeah no that'd be weird."

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"Sorry. Are you feeling anything different...?" He keeps asking even though it's kind of pointless. 

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"About like yesterday."

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He's not actually being distracted by a broken lifebond but it's nonetheless kind of distracting watching Belrun be so sad. "Do you want to ask Nayoki if she can do anything to help?" 

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"Don't you suppose she'd have said?"

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"She told me that she might be able to do something, probably not to fix it entirely but it could help a little. I am not sure of the best way to fix it properly. Maybe use magic or Healing to make me grow up very quickly?" 

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"I could try to learn that but I'm not at my best, maybe someone else can get it before me."

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"I will think who I can ask to research it. I do not want you to have to wait any longer than necessary." 

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She will... kiss the top of his head, that's not very weird. "Thank you."

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Leareth doesn't want to get out of bed at all, but staying flopped on Belrun isn't actually going to fix anything, whereas talking to his other mages and Healers might. Eventually. Not fast enough. 

"Have you noticed anything so far that does help?" he asks her. "If cuddling me helps then I am happy to have us both do as much of our work as we can while cuddling." 

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"It sort of helps and doesn't at the same time, honestly. It doesn't help as much as it seems like it should and that's bad, see -"

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"I am sure it is not as bad for me as for you, but I also find it deeply disconcerting. I remember the feeling of being lifebonded, and I keep expecting to feel it again, and I do not..." 

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"How much carries over - you've mentioned not everything -"

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"I have several dozen clear memories of events in my past. About half of them are about you. I have significantly more implicit or procedural memory - for example, I always come back speaking the languages I did in my past life, and with much of my magical skill and most of my combat reflexes intact. Your letter was very helpful, though, I did not remember everything in it very clearly." He hugs her. "I would like to hear your recounting of our relationship, actually. I can tell you which moments and conversations I do remember, and maybe you can fill in the rest?" 

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"Yeah. I can do that."

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Leareth describes the parts he remembers; even those are sometimes a bit hazy. Their first meeting, the conversation when he was injured and she was Healing him; he remembers his panicked exit from the bed, and her shouting at him about it, but not why he was trying to get up. He remembers taking her to one of his records stashes, trying to explain his past, her very understandable disbelief. He remembers telling her about Urtho, and her telling Vanyel in turn. 

...He also has a few memories that are, well, not exactly of conversations, and feel very awkward now that he's in the body of a thirteen-year-old who does not, apparently, have much of a libido yet. 

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Yes, that's very awkward, she agrees completely. She fills in the rest of it but omits to elaborate on anything in the genre.

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Leareth listens, takes some notes. Snuggles. He loves his Belrun so much, and... Oh. Interesting. 

He spends a while poking at that feeling. 

:I am thinking about how much I love you: he says, eventually. :And - none of that is the lifebond mind-control, right? The lifebond is having minimal if any effects on me, right now. Obviously some of the origins of my love are from the lifebond before, but - I think it is not fundamental? I can separately assess that you are clever and ambitious and actually trying to fix everything - you are so impressive - and I can love you for that, and...just...it feels important, to be able to notice that? And so I wanted to tell you: 

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:That is nice to know: she says, snuggling him.

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