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Mordred says that Lev is supposed to go off his medications and tell Mordred if he's not feeling well and needs to taper down more slowly.
Obviously, the thing this means is that Lev is supposed to taper down as quickly as possible and hide the tremors and headaches and sweating and light hypersensitivity from Mordred so that he isn't upset by them.
Lev manages to do this for almost two days.
Once half the soup has been consumed, Lev puts the bowl to one side, says, "I should go get my rouge and get ready--" and tries to stand up.
Mordred stops him. "No."
He doesn't like having to restrain Lev, it makes him feel uncomfortably like Dr. Keaton, but it wouldn't help anything if Lev fell on his face again.
Lev looks up at him blearily and says, "do you want to have sex with me?"
Lev presses his back up against the wall, eyes darting back and forth.
"Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry I'll do better sorry," he says all in a rush.
"Please don't hurt me I'll do better I'll think more carefully about what you want."
"You don't need to be sorry." What is he not remembering - oh well it's fine he's not panicking anymore it worked.
"What did I do to make you happy? Sorry. I should know-- so I can do it again--"
"I know it's hard and scary to ask for things when you need them and I'm so proud of you for doing it."
"...........what. That's not what I was supposed to do at all." He presses himself up against the wall again. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll do better I'll figure out what you want."
"You don't need to be sorry. It's okay. You're doing great and I'm proud of you."
Extremely suspicious look. "I'm sorry that I'm so-- anxious and in pain and my hands keep shaking-- I don't know what's wrong. I'm trying to hide it. I'm sorry that I can't hide it I know I should be grateful to you I know I should--"
"You don't have to hide it. I would rather know than not know. And you don't have to be sorry for being in pain."
"And I keep breathing fast and my head hurts and there are flashes of light and my skin is crawling and the light being on hurts my eyes. And I'm trying to... not... and it's hard and I know there's no excuse for failing but. I should be grateful because you love me and you're taking care of me and you're making me happy. And I'm yours."
Mordred gets up and turns the light off and kind of expects that Lev is going to try and get up.
He does try to get up but when Mordred is close enough to the bed to stop this.
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