lost epic in Fairyland
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Evil horrible winged people look at him! They are confused.

"Hello," one says, "what's your name?"

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"Who's in charge here? I want to talk to them."

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"Here? Me."

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"Okay. You have to stop torturing people. Immediately. Why are you doing it, what do you get out of it, I might just be able to give you that thing directly -"

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"...beg pardon?"

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"Stop. Torturing. People."

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"I'm not torturing anyone," smiles the fairy. "What did you say your name was?"

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"Epic. If you're not torturing anybody then stopping shouldn't be a problem."

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"Sure. What's your real name?"

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"I don't like your orders thing very much and I think you're lying about not torturing people so I'm not going to tell you. If I can talk to all the people here and they all agree it was just a misunderstanding and you don't torture people, then I'll tell you if you want."

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"I'll round everybody up then, shall I," says a nonplussed fairy.

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"Thank you!"

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The fairy goes and talks to other fairies, who all line up and tell Epic that this fairy does not torture people.

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...yeah. And if he puts sugar in their throats and osanwës them I rescind all your orders -

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Instant chaos. Things catch fire! Fairies rocket into the air in all directions! The fairy in charge shouts at them and most of them turn around when commanded!

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...oh, right, he can probably also give them orders -

He will just stand here chanting I rescind all your orders, that seems like the thing to do.

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Fairies make aggregate progress away from the little compound. More things catch fire; surprisingly few of those things are fairies.

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That's good he really didn't want to kill anyone he is going to try to burn this entire stupid world to the ground without killing anyone. If anyone looks badly injured he will teleport over and heal them.

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Nope, the only fairy who caught fire has healed herself by the time he notices.

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Okay. And the fairy who insisted he didn't torture anyone, what's he doing?

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Also flying away, actually.

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Come back here.

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He turns around.

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"If you don't torture people why are all of these people running away setting things on fire?"

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No answer.

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