"So many bad things happened, Mommy. I have to fix it." 

Pet pet hug. "I'd believe that a lot of things would happen over thirty years that need fixing. Is there anything very urgent?"

"...You die in four years." 

It's a very strange thing to hear, but she isn't shocked. 

Pet pet. "If it is preventable, that gives us three years to come up with something. If we need that long. Has your cultivation skill traveled back with you as well? Do you have a golden core?"

Nod. "I couldn't have stopped the array otherwise. I don't know how far back things would have gone if I hadn't. I don't think I would still have existed." 

She hugs him closer. That's horrifying.

"You're safe now, my love. I am proud of you. Has your uncle noticed yet? Has anyone noticed?"

"Uncle noticed I was behaving strangely this morning but I told him I had a bad dream. I don't think anybody else has noticed anything." 

"Someone will surely notice if they check on your spiritual energy. It might come up in your classes." A-Huan does very well in his classes. She's so proud of her son for how he writes his letters and the pretty pictures that he paints. He's thirty-five. "Have you planned to tell anyone else?"

Headshake. 

"A-Zhan misses you so much. Now, when you're apart, and later, when you die. I don't know how long we can keep you alive like this. I have to get you out of here. Uncle wouldn't allow that." 

"If we try to leave and fail, I will never be able to see either of you again."

"If we try to leave, we won't fail. Nobody will be expecting the strength and knowledge of a sect leader from a five-year-old. It's not the only idea I had, though. What happened to get you stuck here? I know that you killed someone and Father married you to prevent you from being executed. But I don't know what the circumstances were. If you tell me everything, maybe I could forge new evidence that you couldn't have reached from in here and a five-year-old could never have managed, or I could reveal that I was from the future but not that I came to see you, and said that new information came to light in the future." 

"A-Huan, I don't think anyone is very interested in seeing evidence that exonerates me. And I don't...

Your father's teacher was not a good person. Not even according to the spirit of your doctrines. A city was depending on him and his students very badly, and he wasn't... nice. About it. But the Lan rules, on the surface, would not condemn him. Not for any cruelty there would be proof of. 

You know that Gusu Lan is quite wealthy. There are no rules against expecting payment for your services. And... it seems that the Lan elders have forgotten that morality exists outside of what is written. People, people's actions exist outside of what is written.

I killed him. There were witnesses including your father. I have never denied killing him. It was the loss of a valued cultivator and educator; nobody will think I acted rightly, even if they concede that the man I murdered acted poorly."

He makes an unhappy sound and leans against her. 

"A-Zhan grows up to love the Cloud Recesses," he says softly, after a little while. "If I don't have to take that away from him, I don't want to. And it will be so much easier to prevent what the Wen go on to do with the Lan sect's resources. Can you think of anything that would make them let you out? It doesn't have to be true, as long as they can't prove it isn't, if I can prove I'm from the future they'll have to take me seriously and they won't expect me to be able to prove every single claim I make." 

"I think," she says slowly, stroking his hair. "There is nothing that can convince them that I'm not dangerous. Or that I am not still worthy of punishment. Many of them hold grudges against me personally."

She wants to ask if they even gave her a proper burial after her death, but making A-Huan discuss it would be cruel.

These are the same stupid people who ordered Wangji whipped for defiance and okay maybe staying where they have power over him isn't best for A-Zhan after all. 

He's still going to cry into his mom's skirts for a minute. 

He wipes the tears away, when he's done, and asks "What did they do with your sword? A-Zhan and I don't have them yet, and we'll need at least one in order to escape." 

"Last I knew, your father had kept it."

"...Okay. That's not ideal but I'm pretty sure I can get it." He swallows. "Getting a jade pass and A-Zhan will be easier. Is there any reason to delay?"

Only that she is very, very frightened. That is not subject to change and not a good reason to delay. "I see none. Please be careful, A-Huan."

"I will, Mommy. I love you." 

Stealing his mother's sword back is definitely the most Terrifying part of this operation, but fortunately his father is as asleep as the rest of the Cloud Recesses. It...is not actually immediately obvious which sword is which, so he steals them both. They can leave Father's behind in the Gentian House. 

He is extra, extra careful not to get caught, because a small child sneaking around after bedtime would be scolded and sent back to bed, but a small child carrying swords would have people wanting to know what the fuck, and he can't think of any answers that don't complicate things at all.

Swiping a pass is easy. Well, it's easy for him, because he knows all the things, it's not easy in a way that makes him worried about general security. 

Lastly, he creeps into A-Zhan's room, and picks up A-Zhan and Bunny as carefully as he can, without waking his baby brother, and sneaks back to the house. 

Sneaking is harder with an armful of toddler you don't want to wake up, but he still makes it there without anyone seeing anything.  

She is SO RELIEVED. It hadn’t felt real that he would come back. It barely felt real that he’d been there in the first place.

“Oh, A-Huan, you did so well!” She rises and hurries to him, hands reaching for A-Zhan before she gives it conscious thought. Her baby, her babies, both of her babies are right here.

He hands over his baby brother and then carefully pulls out the swords. 

"Which one is yours?"

She cradles A-Zhan to her chest. He nuzzles against her shoulder and makes an indistinct sound without waking.

She looks up at the swords, and -- 

Does not cry in front of her five-or-thirty-five-year-old son, but it's hard. She hasn't seen her sword in six years.

"Silver," she says quietly. Her husband's sheathe is blue.

He puts down the blue and holds out the silver. "I have the jade token. I know the patrol routines, I can tell you when it's safe to move." 

She takes her sword and grips it until her knuckles turn white. She feels it thrum beneath her fingers, recognizing her. I've missed you, I've missed you.

"You're sure the routines are the same as what you're used to?"

"...They won't be the same as when I came back from, but I remember how they were before the war."