Apr 16, 2021 6:56 AM
James goes to Hogwarts in the 1940s
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"But I am sure you will be magnificent when it is time to retrieve our luggage! Tintin," he introduces himself. "Henri Saint-Martin is my Christian name, but I do not often call myself that."

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"What's a Christian name?" asks James. He also fetches another chocolate frog from his robes. "Want one? Also what are you wearing? - oh wait are you a muggleborn?"

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"I am muggleborn, or at least that is what they tell me! A Christian name is one's first name, and I am wearing short trousers and a shirt, and I would very much like a chocolate even if it is frog-shaped."

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"How many of those do you have?"

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Here's a chocolate. "It jumps. Once. Make sure you don't lose it. Why is it called a Christian name, I thought Christian was a name?" To David: "I think I have another ten... I have other stuff, too."

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"It jumps. Wizards have such ideas. Ah, it is the name you are given at baptism, the name you have in the eyes of God, thus your Christian name. I suppose it is not really my Christian name, since I have not found a priest who would baptise me again, but if God is paying any attention then He knows that my name is Henri, and if He is stupid enough not to know that then I see no reason to care."

Tintin opens the box one-handed, keeping his other hand by the opening, and snatches the frog from the air as it jumps. He bites it in half mercilessly.

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"Who's God? What's a priest?"

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"...I am not sure I am qualified for this," Tintin warns. "God is... the one who created the world, and who Christians worship. I suppose He is also worshipped by the Musulmans and the Jews, but it is mostly the Christians. Priests are people who have learned a great deal about God, and who tell people what He wants, and perform various rituals like weddings and baptisms."

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"Someone created the world?"

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"It is what the nuns told me. It seems the kind of thing that must have happened at some point, though I am not sure they are right in the details. - nuns are like female priests, but instead of always telling people what God wants they do more useful things sometimes, like taking care of orphans."

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"I thought the world just... always existed. You know."

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"I suppose it is possible! The nuns would say that nothing can be without first being created, but frankly that begs the question of who created God, and they have never had a satisfactory answer to that."

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"How would the nuns even know that though."

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"Supposedly many years ago God told some men wandering through the desert, the Jews, and they wrote a very long and very tedious book about it. And then He had a son, and sent the son down to the same desert, and His son wrote some additions to the book which were mostly also very tedious. And then the Jews killed His son, very unpleasantly, and for some reason this made God forgive the sins of humanity, except that we must still be very careful not to sin. It is a very confusing religion."

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"What's 'sin'?"

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"It is when you do something very bad. God does not like this. But God thinks many things are very bad, and I do not agree with all of His opinions."

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"...well lots of people think things are bad, why would anyone care what this one guy thinks in particular? Like sure I guess he made the world but you know, sometimes you disagree with your parents and they made you, right?"

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"Oh, I do not have parents. But yes, I think I would disagree with them on many things."

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"Wait, what do you mean you don't have parents? Surely you do."

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"Well I had them at some point, but I do not remember them and they died when I was young, and I did not have any other family, and so I was sent to les Soeurs du Sang Sacré. And they raised me, along with a few other children, until it turned out that I was a wizard, and that I had done magic for the first time in the British Isles, and now I am a ward of Hogwarts. Which I think is rather nice."

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"Oh. Wait so you might not even be a muggleborn, right? If your parents were wizards."

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"If they were wizards he'd've been put with a wizarding family," David says. "Even the French don't put wizard kids with muggles."

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"I am Belgian."

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"My sincerest apologies."

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"Maybe they were hiding from the government? Maybe Henri's parents were secret agents from a secret society."

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