"It seems like it'd be popular at home - well, illegal at home but popular in some other countries, if He's really claiming He can get his followers to Heaven even if they don't sort Good. ...your sorting system might work differently from ours, if He can do that.

If He's the only god what's - going on with Hell, according to that tradition?"

"There are some different precise theological understandings. The story goes - very long ago, before humanity was created, there were angels, also created by God, and one of these angels decided that he wished to be more powerful than God. Wished to dethrone him and be worshipped as the greatest being in all creation, and to force all others to bend before his glory. I suppose perhaps it seemed less absurd at the time, having never been tried before. This angel amassed an army of others, who pledged to serve him, and not God, but they were found out, and there was a great war in heaven, between those who favored God and those who favored the angel. And ultimately the angel and his followers were cast out of heaven.

"Hell was created as a prison for them, a realm of fire and darkness. Perhaps it was created then. Perhaps it was created later, after we were, once the fallen angels - I suppose they are what you call devils - had become so twisted from their original purpose that they vowed to drag as many humans away from God as possible, and cause whatever suffering they could. It was they who introduced evil to us, and twisted our fundamental nature away from good. I'm not sure what else is said about them. I'm not very permitted to study my own scriptures, you see. But that's what Hell is. Hell is where one goes if one persists in being twisted toward evil, if one refuses the offer to return to God and be forgiven. At the end of time it will be a prison to lock away evil, and there will be no more suffering outside it."

"Asmodeans think that Hell will win the war with Heaven. It is winning, so far, in our world."

"I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who believes that, actually. How dismal."

"I guess? I think it's lucky that the forces that are winning are ones that - use humans for something. Instead of, say, Abaddon, which just eats their souls."

"I agree that that also sounds dismal! But I'd much prefer living in a world that was made by someone who loves me like their own child."

"It is definitely a better pitch for Heaven than I have heard before! Are there priests of His here?"

"Tragically no, I'm afraid the Emperor quite dislikes them. They have a tendency to amass converts, and as the head of the Norse Pagan faith, he would much rather everyone regard him as their ultimate spiritual authority on Earth. So - sword or the gallows, if they make themselves a nuisance. Of course there are still many Christians living under Scandinavian rule, but mostly to the south. I suppose everyone's to the south, from here. They're probably still common in Britain."

"What does it mean that he's the head of the Norse Pagan faith?"

"Oh, he has a special connection to the gods and knows their will best," she says, dismissively. She looks around to see if anyone else is nearby. No one especially. "He doesn't, but you shouldn't go picking fights about it. Especially here."

"He's - pretending to be a true priest of theirs, but faking it using some other kind of magic? Can you be a true priest of multiple gods here?"

"Oh, all the pagans think you can call on whatever gods you want as convenient, if you offer them some particular thing they want. I suppose he does have some power, from - somewhere or other, who knows. Just not the kind he says he does. - I'm sorry, I shouldn't be - it's been a while since anyone wanted to talk about heaven, I suppose. In a way all the Scandinavians worship strength, so on some level all it means is that he's the strongest Scandinavian, and I suppose I can't argue with that."

"...I think I am confused again."

"Sorry. He's - the highest Norse Pagan religious leader on earth? He defends its holy sites, he holds great human sacrifices at great feasts that are attended by nearly every noble in the realm, and yes, he often claims a particular religious insight into the will of the gods. But his duties as a religious leader and a governmental one are very blended, you see, there are virtually no Norse Pagans who don't also count themselves subjects of Scandinavia. He isn't like the Christian Pope."

"And the pagan gods - do, or do not, grant him the ability to perform miracles in Their name."

"Well, you have to understand that the pagan gods are really primarily concerned with constantly winning in battle, and that his primary claim is that they are assisting him in his admittedly somewhat unbelievable record of military conquests."

"Do they have priests who raise the dead."

"Not that I've seen."

She nods. Doesn't expand on what implications that might have. "I see. And - the Lawful Good god who claims to be the only god, does He have priests that raise the dead?"

"Sure. Not all of them, you know, it takes someone very holy, but there've been plenty of them over the years."

Nod. "I think I'd like to meet one."

"Well, good luck with that, under the present political situation. There are probably a few somewhere. Maybe somewhere in Italy. Maybe in France. Maybe in Ireland. Hard to get word up here."

"Well, maybe we can travel, later." Not that she can really explain why she wants to talk to the priests of the Lawful Good god. Probably they will want to smite her on the spot. But it's an intriguing concept, right, a god who can smuggle people into Heaven even though they don't belong through some ancient ritual sacrifice. And she ought to find out for Asmodeus more about it.

"Maybe so. I'm afraid you're probably stuck with us for the winter, though, the ships won't go out again until spring."

"I would be happy to stay here and meet your court wizard. I would like to learn magic as it is done here."