"Sure. - not all of that, I'm not actually sure what all of that is, but the category, sure."

"Which gods have priests who can do that."

"I think to some extent that also depends on who you talk to."

"Okay. The, uh, framework that I guess I am coming from is that there are many powerful entities that concern themselves somewhat with humans. And in my world some of them are called - demon lords or demigods or heralds of the gods, or stranger things that we don't have words for. And some of them are called gods. And the difference is that gods can identify their truest followers, and grant them power to do their gods' will. All gods can do that and only gods can do that; no matter how powerful, an entity that can't do that isn't a god, and even a newborn god can do it. And - because of that there is not a lot of disagreement about which gods there are. Some places ban some of them and some places haven't heard of some of them, if they're not very interventionist or if they need something awfully rare and specific from their servants, but - but it is new to me, to imagine a place where true priests of the gods are rare enough that there are these confusions. 

I guess - I know that Hell exists, and people go there when we die. So I want to hear about what's going on in this world from the perspective of one of the faiths that says this."

"Norse Pagans and Christians both have afterlives that they refer to as 'Hell'. They are very different places. I believe the Muslims also have the concept of an afterlife of eternal suffering, but my Arabic is terrible and I don't know what they call it."

"They call two of the afterlives Hell? Uh, I mean the one where there are devils, and they're at war with Heaven?"

"Norse pagans do not accept a place called Heaven, that sounds much more like the Christian conception of afterlives."

"We have nine. They're divided by Good and Evil and Law and Chaos, which are - godconcepts, that humans try to approximate but not very adequately. The bits of them that humans can understand are like - Law is about keeping your word and obeying authority and doing things organizedly, not haphazardly, and about people living in civilizations and not just doing whatever they feel like. Chaos is about everybody doing as they please all the time. Good is about destroying Evil and appeasing Pharasma, who sorts people into afterlives and doesn't like it when they do anything to interfere with the sorting or make there be a lot to sort all at once. Evil is the innate nature of people and the way they mostly sort if they don't spend their whole lives throwing themselves at Good."

"I see. I don't know of any system with nine separate afterlives, although the Norse pagans do have nine worlds, and I suppose there are references in some stories to humans living in the halls of gods - perhaps if there were nine such gods and not just the most widely discussed three or four, you could make them fit together quite neatly - I'm sorry, this isn't very relevant, they probably come from very different traditions, and the rest of what you're saying sounds much more like a corrupted understanding of Christian thought - 

"Christianity holds that there is one God, the creator of this world and of all other worlds. There are other powers, as you say, even other powers that can bestow magical abilities on humans, but they pale in comparison to this single God, who is powerful enough to decide precisely what happens to everyone at any point in time. This is not a power He fully exercises, as He wants every human to freely choose to follow Him, and accept His offer of salvation. The offer was made in the form of the sacrifice of His son, who He allowed humanity to kill, that the son might take on the burden of their sins, of their fundamentally evil natures, as you say, and pay the torturous price of all their crimes against Heaven. In this way He made it possible for humanity to accept a free offer of forgiveness, and to join Him in heaven, regardless of the magnitude of their crimes, if they would forsake that evil nature and commit to try to be good, and delight in goodness, and love all humans as God loves all humans. And so those who follow Him are not condemned to Hell, but welcomed into his home as adopted sons and daughters.

" - it's not a very popular understanding, around here. Very popular in other places, but here they've put too many Christians to the sword and the gallows. But that's the understanding I hold with, if it matters to you."

"It seems like it'd be popular at home - well, illegal at home but popular in some other countries, if He's really claiming He can get his followers to Heaven even if they don't sort Good. ...your sorting system might work differently from ours, if He can do that.

If He's the only god what's - going on with Hell, according to that tradition?"

"There are some different precise theological understandings. The story goes - very long ago, before humanity was created, there were angels, also created by God, and one of these angels decided that he wished to be more powerful than God. Wished to dethrone him and be worshipped as the greatest being in all creation, and to force all others to bend before his glory. I suppose perhaps it seemed less absurd at the time, having never been tried before. This angel amassed an army of others, who pledged to serve him, and not God, but they were found out, and there was a great war in heaven, between those who favored God and those who favored the angel. And ultimately the angel and his followers were cast out of heaven.

"Hell was created as a prison for them, a realm of fire and darkness. Perhaps it was created then. Perhaps it was created later, after we were, once the fallen angels - I suppose they are what you call devils - had become so twisted from their original purpose that they vowed to drag as many humans away from God as possible, and cause whatever suffering they could. It was they who introduced evil to us, and twisted our fundamental nature away from good. I'm not sure what else is said about them. I'm not very permitted to study my own scriptures, you see. But that's what Hell is. Hell is where one goes if one persists in being twisted toward evil, if one refuses the offer to return to God and be forgiven. At the end of time it will be a prison to lock away evil, and there will be no more suffering outside it."

"Asmodeans think that Hell will win the war with Heaven. It is winning, so far, in our world."

"I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who believes that, actually. How dismal."

"I guess? I think it's lucky that the forces that are winning are ones that - use humans for something. Instead of, say, Abaddon, which just eats their souls."

"I agree that that also sounds dismal! But I'd much prefer living in a world that was made by someone who loves me like their own child."

"It is definitely a better pitch for Heaven than I have heard before! Are there priests of His here?"

"Tragically no, I'm afraid the Emperor quite dislikes them. They have a tendency to amass converts, and as the head of the Norse Pagan faith, he would much rather everyone regard him as their ultimate spiritual authority on Earth. So - sword or the gallows, if they make themselves a nuisance. Of course there are still many Christians living under Scandinavian rule, but mostly to the south. I suppose everyone's to the south, from here. They're probably still common in Britain."

"What does it mean that he's the head of the Norse Pagan faith?"

"Oh, he has a special connection to the gods and knows their will best," she says, dismissively. She looks around to see if anyone else is nearby. No one especially. "He doesn't, but you shouldn't go picking fights about it. Especially here."

"He's - pretending to be a true priest of theirs, but faking it using some other kind of magic? Can you be a true priest of multiple gods here?"

"Oh, all the pagans think you can call on whatever gods you want as convenient, if you offer them some particular thing they want. I suppose he does have some power, from - somewhere or other, who knows. Just not the kind he says he does. - I'm sorry, I shouldn't be - it's been a while since anyone wanted to talk about heaven, I suppose. In a way all the Scandinavians worship strength, so on some level all it means is that he's the strongest Scandinavian, and I suppose I can't argue with that."

"...I think I am confused again."

"Sorry. He's - the highest Norse Pagan religious leader on earth? He defends its holy sites, he holds great human sacrifices at great feasts that are attended by nearly every noble in the realm, and yes, he often claims a particular religious insight into the will of the gods. But his duties as a religious leader and a governmental one are very blended, you see, there are virtually no Norse Pagans who don't also count themselves subjects of Scandinavia. He isn't like the Christian Pope."

"And the pagan gods - do, or do not, grant him the ability to perform miracles in Their name."

"Well, you have to understand that the pagan gods are really primarily concerned with constantly winning in battle, and that his primary claim is that they are assisting him in his admittedly somewhat unbelievable record of military conquests."