"I - um - I was - " he swallows hard, "I was lifebonded, to someone, and he died." 

"I'm sorry."

"Dunno if you have context on - what that is. People...don't usually survive losing... Apparently I hold the record for. Not killing myself about it." 

"I know the - bare facts, but I'm not culturally attuned to it."

"Mmm." He takes another breath, blinks, rubs his eyes. "- Sorry. Hard to concentrate. I - can't remember what my point was. I guess just that I...have problems...because of that. Even before my Companion ran away."

Nod nod.

"Anyway. Wingsister - knows that. But the King...doesn't, really. I don't really want him to, it's - embarrassing, right. So he - won't realize why I can't do things. And then he'll be mad." 

"Why's it embarrassing?"

He blinks at her. "Because it's something wrong with me." 

"...I've been assuming here you didn't kill him -"

"- What? No, why would I - what...?" 

"...so, it's not your fault?"

"I did some kind of stupid things that - contributed - I was sixteen, I did a lot of dumb things then - but I didn't kill him myself." 

"I'm not embarrassed about things wrong with me that aren't my fault but I guess that's just me."

He blinks, unsure how to respond. "I, er, anyway. Do you think I should go back even though I don't want to?" 

"Not especially. If you want to stay here more than you want to prevent them from being upset that seems like their problem, not yours."

"It's not - I don't think I should go back to make them less upset, it's just that I might have important strategic information and so it'd be my duty to make sure they have it too?" 

"...you could put it in a letter? Or I guess if you think somebody else'd read it you could put it in more code than usual?"

"But they might not– Right, this is coming back to the same problem as before, the Truth Spell thing. I guess - it's probably better to send a letter than not do that? And if they want to question me under Truth Spell to make sure I'm not lying, maybe I'll feel more up for it later." 

"Can you truth spell yourself? You could do that and tell me you did that and I could report that you did that."

"Oh, um, I - don't know? Never tested it. I guess I can try and you can tell me if it works." 

"Sure. What will I notice?"

"Um, a blue halo around my head, but I guess I could just be saying whatever I want, and you don't have mage-sight to check it's real, you could ask someone else to confirm if you want to." 

"I don't have mage-sight. I could see if it makes a harmonic ripple but an illusion could do that too. But we can see if you get a halo and then someone can come confirm and then I can be your witness next trip."

Vanyel attempts to cast a Truth Spell on himself.