:'Fandes, what–:

She jerks away from him, rising, pacing, kicking at a pebble. :I - I can't - I, you, I don't - Van, this isn't - how can you–:

:'Fandes, I know he's done horrible things, just - so have we, right? In the war. And - there is a world where he's doing it for the right reasons, where it's worth it, and - I have to be able to look at reality: 

Yfandes is silent for a long time, apparently frozen. 

Finally she tosses her head. :I don't know you any more. You - you aren't the person I chose....: Aching confusion in her mindvoice, and frigid coldness. :I - I have to go. Don't come after me: 

:'Fandes–: But it's too late. She's blocked him out of her mind, there's an icy wall where she should be, and her white shape is vanishing into the night. 

Vanyel puts his head down on his knees and stays like that for a long time. 

Eventually he drags himself to his feet, slowly, wearily. He should go - somewhere, the sun is rising and he desperately cannot handle anyone looking at him or talking to him. 

Well, his barrier is right there; he can easily part it for a moment and slip back into the palace, and no one can follow him. Start walking. One foot in front of another. 

...Without meaning to, he finds himself standing in front of the door to the Heartstone room, reaching to open it. Well, why not, it's nice and shielded and no one can bother him. 

He curls up on the floor. It's not fair, some part of him keeps wanting to cry out, but that's not the point. Reality doesn't care. And - reality has judged him unworthy, wrong. Or his Companion has, at least, which might as well be the same thing, really. 

He's been up all night now, he's so tired and everything hurts so much. He's aware, on some level, that he should probably contact Savil with the communication-spell, or something, but he can't bring himself to. It's hard to see how it would even help. She'll only be angry with him - she'll know, that his own Companion said he was too far gone to be worth staying with, and left.

- his thoughts go to Tashir, and from there to Tylendel, and then bounce in circles around the fraying remains of Melody's block. What would Tylendel think of him now? (Bounce away, disorientation, dizziness.) That he was corrupted, broken, evil, for even considering siding with Leareth - that he doesn't deserve to be a Herald...

( - A flash of another world that never happened: the Heralds’ temple - Tylendel’s body laid out on the bier. Dressed in Whites, hair fanned out around his face, he might have been sleeping except for how he lay, with his arms folded over his chest, ‘Lendel had never slept in anything but a sprawl that took up three-quarters of the bed. And Vanyel knelt by him, and took the dagger from his belt - )

Vanyel blinks back to awareness, jolting out of the awful false-memory. Finds himself sobbing, and looking down at his belt-knife in his hand. Blood gushing down his other arm, soaking his Whites, already pooling on the floor. 

Did he do that...? For a few seconds all he can do is stare blankly at it. It hurts but even the pain of it is distant, barely holding him to the present moment; reality feels fragile, like a painted stage-backdrop that he could easily tear away. 

He should - what - probably he should do something but Yfandes is gone, and, and–

Focus. He's already dizzy, and he can't seem to make himself move, but the Heartstone shields block even his attempt at the communication-spell. 

Finally, shaking, he manages to drop the knife and shuffle to the door. He's too lightheaded to stand, but he shoves it open and sprawls out into the hallway. 

<Savil. Help> 

Those two words are all he can manage. 

Savil, who's been pacing around for the last few minutes after drafting the note for Leareth, stops dead. 

<Van? What?> But she can't get through to him, he's not picking up his end of the spell. 

Savil spins around. :Matirin, Van's in trouble, I need to go back there NOW: 

<Do you want to use the shuttle or is it urgent enough you should Gate ->

:- I should Gate. But can you send the shuttle anyway to catch up with us? Van's sensitive to Gates, if we need to get him out of there I can't take him through a Gate: 

<I can send it. To the same location as last time?>

:Yes. Please:

And she raises a Gate on the nearest door-shaped area, conveniently everything here is big enough to fit a Companion, and Gates to the outer palace Gates, a little extra distance but it'll be less likely to hurt poor Van, if he's inside his shield. She takes it down as fast as possible. 

:Van. Where are you:

He's lying on the floor and sort of confused about how he got there. He feels the Gate, of course, even through shields, and whimpers. :...Savil? By...Heartstone room...: 

:I'm coming, ke'chara, I'll be right there: 

And she's there less than a minute later, sprinting down the hall with a mage-light ahead of her, falling to her knees. :Van, what - did someone...: There's no sign of anyone. :Van. Did you do that?: 

No answer. 

For maybe five seconds until her brain starts working, Savil has no idea what to do. 

:Shh, it's all right, the shuttle's coming, we're going to get you somewhere safe:

She can try to stop the bleeding, pulling off her shirt and tying it crudely around his wrist, and then pick him up and stagger down the hall toward the main doors - he's not heavy but she is old, and tired, and she would like literally anything else to be happening right now please.

:Van, where's Yfandes: 

He doesn't answer. 

:Van -?: 

When the shuttle arrives, she's standing in the palace grounds next to Kellan with Vanyel in her arms, wheezing for breath, both of them covered in blood. She has a simple illusion over them but she's shouting to the Andalite pilot with Mindspeech. 

The pilot lands! He's - really concerned, they do have first aid things in the shuttle, they're for Andalites but they can at least stop bleeding more effectively than a shirt. 

<What happened ->

:I don't know! I found him like this, and his Companion's nowhere to be found. He - did this to himself, there was no one else there, but - I don't know why, he won't tell me: Savil is almost in tears. 

The Andalite seems to - stiffen, at that. He provides the first aid kit and then flies them back.

Vanyel is silent the whole way. He does his best to stay curled in a ball and ignore everything happening around him, though he lets Savil bandage his arm properly. 

As they fly over northwest Valdemar, Savil is able to reach one of the Heralds on circuit, though Haven is still outside her range. She asks for a priority-one-urgency message to be sent to Haven, Yfandes is missing and Vanyel is - currently incapacitated - and can they please figure out what happened to his Companion, does Taver have a way to tell if she's dead.

Savil is so confused and panicked about Vanyel and everything and aaaaaaaaaah. 

They land. 

Matirin comes over for an update.

:Something happened to Vanyel's Companion, I don't know what, and he - tried to kill himself, gods, I shouldn't've left him there alone...: 

He goes stiff much less noticeably than the other one. <Could Leareth have done this?>

:I wondered if Leareth could have killed his Companion, that's - well, Heralds don't usually survive it...: