"I am glad it hasn't presented a problem for your sect. Hopefully Madam Jin and Madam Yu's friendship shall withstand."

It isn't as though his sworn brotherhood to Wei Ying will make him any more acknowledged as his Father's son. If Madam Jin truly takes offense to something as minor as his continued existence, Meng Yao is not very impressed. As though he is taking anything away from her or her son, or attaining even a fraction of their wealth and safety. Her husband rejecting and humiliating him is not enough, now, she expects everyone else he encounters to do the same?

"I don't even know if Madam Jin will be as annoyed about it as Madam Yu is, Madam Yu is pretty easy to irritate. I haven't met Madam Jin more than a handful of times and never for very long." 

"Ah, that is right. I have not yet had the honor of meeting Madam Jin and so I should not make assumptions."

"Yeah, she's not like, I dunno, Wen Ruohan, I've never met him but that's not gonna stop me judging him so hard." Sigh. "I mostly try not to think about--all the dead. At least we saved most of the children at Lotus Pier, that's not nothing, but--rrgh. If I ever meet him in person I will use that one talisman that turns people inside-out again."

“How many of the children still have living parents?”

"A few. Not most of them. Lan Zhan and I did a lot of looking after them while we were there."

"What will become of the orphans?"

"Man, I'm not even sure. We'll hire nannies, I guess, if we don't get more adult disciples who can look after them. At least they'll be better off than I was, even in the meanwhile. I was on the streets for a couple years between when my parents died and when Uncle Jiang found me." 

"I did not know that."

"There was this woman...I don't know if she was a prostitute herself or a maid, but sometimes she brought me table scraps if I was sleeping in the alley behind the brothel. She was a lot nicer than any of the respectable shopkeepers who chased me away from their stalls thinking I was going to steal food. Which I would have, to be fair, I've never cared all that much about rules and I was hungry." 

"I am glad to hear that someone looked out for you. In my experience, prostitutes are often generous women. A great number of people seem to find this surprising."

"A great number of people are stupid."

Yes.

"What was she like? Your mom." 

"She was very graceful. Kind and clever; no one ever expected her to be clever, nor so decorous. Yes, very decorous... it was important to her that I grow up learning proper manners, posture, and etiquette.

She had no experience with cultivation, but she spent all her earnings on books in order to teach me. When I was young, my mother read to me about spiritual energy and meditation and the different stances I should practice.

Mother was sure that I would be a cultivator. She wanted me to be properly educated when Father came to collect us."

"She sounds wonderful. I barely remember my parents. Uncle Jiang says my father was kind and reliable and my mother was lively and spirited. Teacher Lan says I'm a lot like her but I don't think he meant it as a compliment to either of us." 

"Perhaps Great Master Lan did not intend to compliment either of you, and yet he produced such a complimentary assessment. I am sorry that you cannot better remember them, A-Ying."

For the most part, Meng Yao doesn't consider himself to be like either of his parents. He looks very much like his mother, and his manners are all hers, but the insides are very different. His mother was warm and genuine, to her core.

(He has no idea whether he shares anything with his father. His indifference, contemplating the suffering of most of the people he's ever met - perhaps that is Father's.)

He definitely got his smarts from her!!!

"Thanks. I can remember a little, anyway, and I treasure what I have. And part of what I have is a lot of great people right now, even if they aren't among them. They're gone, and so is Uncle Jiang now, but I have you, and Lan Zhan, and Shijie and A-Cheng, and--well, I would never say I'm not incredibly lucky or grateful." 

"You seem likely to be grateful even were you not so lucky. Do you never wish for more?"

"...Between when I figured out how I felt about Lan Zhan and when I figured out that she felt the same way. I wanted her to, very much. But, also, she's so wonderful and just getting to be her best friend is so much more than anyone else gets. I, I can be grateful without being satisfied." 

"Certainly you are close to many impressive people, Lan-guniang most exclusively. Are you satisfied now?"

"Hm...no. I don't think so. There's lots of things I want. I want to meet my baby, I want to be married to Lan Zhan already, I want--I want Uncle Jiang not to be dead--I want lots of people not to be dead honestly--I want to improve my cultivation even more, I want to grind Wen Ruohan's face into the dirt...I guess I don't actively want much related to being close to people who already exist more than I currently am? But it might just be that I do and I'm not noticing it behind all the other stuff I want, like, I was in love with Lan Zhan for a while without realizing it." 

That all sounds very reasonable. He hopes she gets all of those things that are possible.

It remains surreal to him, hearing A-Ying call the baby hers. Jarring, even, but he never reacts to it.

"What do you want? Besides your dad." 

Various answers to that question that he should not voice out loud include “power” and "the painful deaths of anyone who ever insulted him or his mother" and “Lan Xichen” -

A-Ying is more likely to understand than most people, but that doesn't mean there's any actual reason to be fully honest.

"I would like to secure myself a position where I can change things," he says, not untruthfully. "I do not think most cultivation sects realize how severely they overlook common people."