"...It used to hurt," Leareth says, slowly, hesitantly. "Every time that I weighed up what would - mean being possible to cooperate with, in that way - and what would work, and had to trade the former to get the latter. And then I suppose I decided it did not help anything, to anguish over it every time, and so I - stopped. I think...Vanyel has done things he wished he did not have to, but I imagine it still hurts him, and - that affects his choices, on the margin if not always. I am not sure if that is the only way I could be more the shape he is." 

"Oh, child." And she steps across the room and takes his hand. "Good isn't about hurting, but it does hurt. And maybe you were weaker for your hurt, maybe your pain made it harder for you to do what must be done - but there is hurt that leaves us stronger. There is hurt that does not need to fall silent, because it is not getting in the way. I do not think that all of Vanyel's pain is dragging him in the wrong direction on the margin, and I would lessen it but I would not advise him to discard it. And this is not because there is anything I would not compromise to see us win."

Maybe she has a point, because there's some sort of pain Leareth is feeling now that he's not at all tempted to fold away. 

"I think - it makes a significant difference, whether one has allies who are - witnessing the same tragedies and - feeling the same things," Leareth manages, eventually. "And - there was no point pining for it when it seemed forever out of reach, but - I want so badly to live in the world where I can have that. I felt so alone, in Velgarth, and I am so tired of it." 

The conversation is having an odd effect on him, Leareth thinks. He feels like a child again - as though remembering some distant hazy past he's nearly forgotten - and she reminds him of Urtho, a little, only with the key difference that she's really and truly trying to win. Because that was the part that Urtho never understood, he thought trying to win was ambition and ambition was dangerous, and - if instead of someone like Urtho it had been someone like Iomedae, trying to teach him what virtue meant, then he can't imagine what else could have been different. 

She abstracts away the motion that ought to have been necessary between standing there holding his hand and sitting on the couch with him tucked into her arms, his head resting on her shoulder. 

"We are given so little," she says, "and the world takes so much. But you have this, now, you work side by side with Vanyel and you have the chance to live in a world where people like you are possible to cooperate with - possible to trust - possible to love - take it, be good to it, forever is such a long time but for as long as you can -"

"I will try." And now, again, he finds himself fighting not to cry, but for a completely different reason. For the fact that if he had met her as a human, he suspects it would have taken him about thirty seconds to decide that it was worth almost anything to have her on his side - and a world that contains more than a handful of people like that is one where he would have ended up a different shape all along, not one that necessarily hurt less to be but one that meant carving away less of himself -

- and this is probably the category of thing people refer to as a 'religious experience', it's bizarre, Iomedae is terrifyingly good at it. At making him feel very small and young and yet not alone.

(Some quiet voice in him is noting this, that it's a lot of uncharacteristic emotions for him at once, and deciding to hold back final judgement on it and propagating any changes in his thinking until he's not having the mind-altering experience of talking to a god, but for now he doesn't mind it, it seems like something he can afford right now and it's...kind of nice, actually, in a way he would never ever ever have thought to look for.) 

She holds him for a long time, and then eventually she departs and he is alone in his head. He does not have a headache.

The lack of headache is very nice, but he's still drained in some other way, and stays where he is for a while, lost in thought. Mostly trying to figure out why the conversation with Iomedae made him so emotional, where's it coming from. 

He's still confused about it but eventually goes back to his other responsibilities, he can poke at it later. 

Vanyel swings by after he's used up all the reserves that multiple Lesser Restorations can eke out on diamonds. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" 

"Yes. If you can wait a little, I will have Nayoki join us." 

She does so a few minutes later. "Aroden said–"

"Yes, I wish for you two to plan a trip to Haven. The pharaoh will likely send a diplomatic party either with you or shortly afterward."

And he explains their concerns about Starwind and Moondance. 

Vanyel frowns. "I - think you're right, probably, that we should make sure they can't do this again, and - that that's a higher priority than whether it's fair to them as people. And I agree there's a concern they'll Gate out if they have any warning. Just...I also get why the Heralds want to take their time with making a decision first, and - you'll really be leaving me with some explaining to do to Randi." 

"Oh, I think you ought agree on burning out their Gifts through the Heralds' official channels, whatever those are. Nayoki will not be doing that immediately, I just thought I would send her in case your Mindhealer is not comfortable with it. It had sounded as though the Heralds had already discussed using pre-emptive compulsions to keep them captive, and narrowly decided not." 

"True. I think Randi will forgive me for it, just - feels a little like abusing my position, getting away with that." 

"I know. But, I suspect their judgement may - not be unaffected. There is a Heartstone in Haven, I remembered." 

"Oh." 

Vanyel freezes. 

"Oh no. I - completely didn't think of that - I don't know what powers it'd actually give Her but I bet She can affect the Companions' Foresight that way, and...a lot of the Heralds just trust their Companions' gut feelings on things fully..." 

"That reminds me, I ought also explain our plan there." Leareth relays his conversation with Abadar and the tentative plan. 

Vanyel looks both awed and very concerned. "Abadar thinks you - we - can pull that off?" 

"He claimed so. I intend to do considerably more planning before we carry it out." 

"You had better! When you die it scares me." 

Vanyel can't help chuckling a little, even though it's not really funny. 

They discuss further logistics. He can be ready to leave the next day. 

"Thank you," says Carissa Sevar, with a smile that must look incredibly fake, why is she so bad at this, she needs to practice in front of a mirror or in front of Grandmother or something. "That's all I wanted to know. Uh -"

And she leaves. Maybe she needs to practice exits in front of a mirror too. Practicing exits in front of Grandmother wouldn't help because Grandmother always wheedles you into staying for some pie and another three hours. Her heart is pounding and her mind is meandering. She tries walking slowly, home, in case it'll get the heart pounding under control, which it kind of does.

The man that the Inheritor has been sending her strange dreams about is Aroden's son.

Aroden's heir, she corrects herself, she does not know whether or not he's Aroden's son, the person she asked to identify him from a sketch said "Aroden's son" but he was just a random person in Egorian for the coronation, he wouldn't have more information than she does about that. What everyone knows is that Aroden has a wife, and children, kept them far away during the war lest anyone threaten them, lives in the palace with them now. They're all very old. Aroden can extend his own life but not theirs, maybe. And Aroden went to Tian Xia, in search of allies for his war and battles that'd give him the strength for it, and Aroden long ago travelled the Great Beyond and maybe knew where allies could be found on other worlds, and he'd built up an army in the world called Velgarth with its strange sorcerers, and one of them was his heir. People were assuming his son but probably Aroden is beyond petty mortal concerns like paternity and also the distant ancestor of literally everyone in Cheliax. 

Probably.

So why is the Inheritor sending visions of Aroden's heir? Aroden's heir, standing in the snow. Aroden's heir, fighting with magic. Aroden's heir, deep in intimate conversation with another person she doesn't recognize, and which none of her sources recognize either...

...there are several possible explanations but the likeliest is that he is evil and in the service of Asmodeus or something and she needs to do something about it. If she didn't need to do anything about it, she probably wouldn't be getting visions about it, and if he were a perfectly lovely person suited to take over should anything happen to Aroden she probably wouldn't need to do anything about it. And if he just needed...advice...or something...the Inheritor could probably give him that herself?

This leaves the question of what Carissa Sevar, who is twenty-five and has third-circle spells like anyone competent in school and was working full time enchanting weapons for the crusaders at the Worldwound before Aroden showed up and closed the Worldwound, who was evil until she got an Atonement to neutral about it three weeks ago and has been a cleric of the Inheritor for two, is supposed to do about it. 

The main question is - how does this cleric thing work? If the way it works is that Iomedae is functionally omniscient and picked her because she is the absolute best person in all of Cheliax to do something about the situation, then she can actually do a lot of reasoning from the precise fact that she's the absolute best person to do something about the situation. ...it's mostly very confused reasoning, but still. For example, probably enchanting weapons is a necessary element of the solution, and probably Iomedae's agent needs to be someone who has attracted little attention in their life and can pass undercover. ...it is getting way ahead of herself to assume that she is supposed to assassinate the heir to Cheliax, that is stupid and almost definitely not what she is supposed to do, presumably she is supposed to learn enough to take the proof to Aroden so he can pick a better heir, but anyway, she should still assume that enchanting weapons will be involved somehow, if she was literally the best person in Cheliax for this job. 

But maybe that's not how it works at all and actually all of the Inheritor's clerics and paladins got this dream and she should instead use detect alignment as often as she can get away with it, in large crowds, scanning desperately for people who like her carry a loud Lawful Good alignment which is unlikely to be their own, and get in on the secret conspiracy, and make weapons from the comfort of her basement. 

That option sounds a lot more soothing which is no information about whether it's right. 

Or maybe the dreams are just to prompt her to do research and there will soon be additional, clarifying dreams about what to do next. That option sounds even more soothing and is - almost certainly wrong, actually, gods have limited resources, she remembers reading that, sending instruction is costly. Probably if she does nothing next she'll get dreams prompting her, assuming this mission is in fact specifically meant for her, but those dreams cost Good something, cost the Inheritor something, and she's pretty sure that you're supposed to walk alone as long as you can and not need constant prodding from behind. Better to do something wrong, and need correction, than to do nothing at all. 

- unless you do something that tips off Aroden's heir. That would be much worse than doing nothing. And she's not sure if she can reason from the dreams that she's probably not going to do something wrong or Iomedae wouldn't have sent the dreams, because Foresight isn't a thing anymore. 

What actions definitely won't tip him off and are probably a good idea. 

She asks an aunt in Egorian if she can move to the city. Says, vaguely, that maybe she'll open a magic shop or something. Learn to enchant something other than weapons. She sells all her possessions that definitely are not going to be useful for saving Cheliax or joining a conspiracy that saves Cheliax or - she should keep an open mind, maybe it'll be something entirely unrelated to that. 

She's heard of people who can bluff truth spells, bluff casual mindreading. She might need that. She starts looking into it. She's not 100% sure this is how being a cleric of Iomedae is supposed to work but her goddess is there every morning, proud, determined, full of righteous conviction. 

That evening Aroden prepares a Sending to the pharaoh, alerting him that Vanyel is planning to depart the next day for Velgarth, probably it makes sense for him to do so directly from Cheliax and then retrieve the diplomatic party once he's cleared the air with Randi. 

Once he's waited for confirmation, he sits down and prays to Iomedae. 

And she catches him and then they're sitting, in his mind, in a room together. 

"Very good to see you! I hear you have instructions for me regarding some superweapons."