Leareth has been assuming that Maitimo is not really in a mood to hug him right now and won't be for a while, which seems like a proportionate consequence for - all of this. He does, however, quite badly want a hug. 

Maitimo hugs him, though admittedly much more stiffly than usual. 

:Thank you. For - not being angry: He is pretty sure at this point that Maitimo would be very angry if anyone else had done this to him, and is holding that back specifically because it will hurt Leareth a lot, which is true, it would be so terrifying.

He's not especially scared right now - well, not more than the baseline level, which isn't zero, but mostly he feels tired and sad and ashamed. 

Hug. Sigh. 

:Can you sing me to sleep before you go?: 

Yes. 

And he does that.

:That went about as well as I could possibly expect: Melody seems relieved. :Thank you. I understand that you feel you owe him everything, and that's fair, just - I also recognize that you're navigating a really difficult situation here, and I appreciate it: 

Thank you. 

Are we explaining things to Vanyel? I feel like asking him to a Gate to Vinyamar with no explanation is very rude.

:I don't think he'll consider it especially rude if you ask for a Gate and don't explain why. Though I do think he should have the context, in the longer run - he's going to notice that, er, things are different between you, and Leareth may want more support from him in order to give you space: 

Maybe I will ask for the Gate now and promise to explain afterwards.

:That seems fine to me: 

Vanyel is outside his room in the courtyard, pacing and singing to himself; he looks kind of worried. 

"Hey. I'm so sorry. We're being horrendously rude. Nothing's on fire and no one hates anyone, I promise...I was going to offer to explain later but I can explain now, if we're going to have you distracted all day with this anyway -"

"Oh? Er, it's fine to explain later." Vanyel tries for a reassuring smile. "I figured if something was on fire you'd have told me that. I'm just also stuck on the stupid spell I was working on anyway." 

"Any chance I can trouble you for a Gate to Vinyamar? Then if there is anything else to consider someone will point it out, and the thing I explain to you will sound all the more reasonable."

Vanyel blinks, seems slightly confused, but bobs his head. "Of course! Um, do you want me to leave you there and give you a Gate back in a couple of hours?" 

"That would be good if it's not too much trouble!"

"It's fine! You fixed my Gate problem from before, and without that Gates are really easy actually." And Vanyel gives him a Gate to Vinyamar. 

And he goes through.

Finds Findekáno.

Explains everything to Findekáno.

"I was angry earlier but now I think I mostly - feel really sad? And tired."

"I think you should spend more time here in Vinyamar. I realize this inconveniences Vanyel but I think you should do it anyway."

" - huh. Why -"

" - I think that trying to point all of yourself at a person usually isn't going to turn out fair to you or to them? There's a lot of you, and normally it's pointed in like ten different directions, and it can still - shift oneself weirdly, to be on the receiving end of. And on your side...normally you're pointing it in ten different directions so not a lot of your self-esteem and happiness are riding on any one of them having any particular returns? 

I know how much we owe Leareth. But I think he should be at most one third of what you are doing with your life."

"I think the problem here was that he had gotten convinced that I'd leave him if he didn't - keep me satisfied or something -"

"That was definitely a problem! Not really a problem it is obvious to me you could have prevented - and don't tell me 'I could've not been attracted to him', you could also have solved it by being 'dead', I'm interested in solutions that aren't dumb - but I think you could, uh, have prevented getting this fucked up over it."

"I'm not fucked up over it."