"And mine baby."

"Somebody get Jer in here. Gotta have some fun tonight."

Josh declines to get Jeremiah, since currently, moving around seems like unnecessary exertion.

Alex turns like a panther towards Josh like he's prey, prowling off of his lap so she can stalk towards him more directly. "Joshy-poo, we could make our own fun, right here, right now, but..."

She waits, thrusting her chest towards him, flirting expertly, the way she always has to get what she wants, and waits, just till she knows he is held in her claws, on the precipice of actually making a genuine move on her, when she drops her eyelids suggestively towards his crotch.

"Unfortunately," she looks back up at him as she leans over, peering through her lashes, "you're not my type."

"You're no fun," he whines, although he sounds like he's having a good amount of fun. "You're like the Miranda and all I want to be is Carrie Bradshaw. Where's my tycoon?"

He thinks about this.

"Alex, am I Big man?"

She straddles his lap sensually, mocking him, moving like she's in a pantomime of flirting. "Well... I can only guess but from this display," she wriggles a little, though surprisingly, she's not actually touching his crotch at all, "I'm gonna say no."

"You should take this show on the road and drive it straight off a cliff. Alexma and Touise!"

Josh laughs incredibly hard about this very clever joke he has just made; he's clearly enjoying having Alex on his lap more than might be polite, though.

"Ha ha. Very funny," Toni has sarcasm dripping from her words as she sneers at the boy.

Alex takes his comment in a much better humour, rolling off of him and onto the tiny brunette's lap smoothly. "Don't worry darling, he's just jealous, he can never have anything like what we do."

That kind of feels too real but then it stops, because nothing feels real in a way that requires him to pay attention. Everything is nice and abstract and he doesn't have to really be here for any of it.

Josh kisses Alex on the neck, very gently.

She squirms away a little on instinct, but forces herself to lean into the touch, relax into it, leaning her head away and open her neck up to him.

"I could be your beard, you know. Really nice, manicured, well-kept. Not scraggly and shit. Any guy could make out with you and the beard wouldn't even bother him."

He kisses Alex's cheek but makes eye contact with Toni.

"I think the point of a beard, if I did, in fact, need one, would not be for making out with dudes."

"Are you sure? It's a lot of fun, kissing dudes. We could take the country by storm. Dudestock."

"Sure thing buddy, soon as you achieve an IQ in the triple digits," she pushes herself off and stalks away from the two.

Toni raises her eyebrows at Josh expectantly, waiting for him to react.

"You win some, you lose some."

Josh grabs a few more beers for the fridge to bring to his impromptu party on the kitchen floor.

"Think she's gay, or am I just that much of a leper? It sucks when all you friends are hot and they never want to make out with you."

"I think she's in a glass closet, dummy. Implying you'd be her beard is saying you think she's gay, a thing which anyone who has payed any amount of actual attention to her would know to be true, but she likes to pretend isn't true."

"...huh. Gotta get that gaydar checked out. Figured you and Sam were."

"Aside from that one time at summer camp, that'd be a no from me."

"Awwww. Sam too?"

"For that, you'd probably have to ask your sister, I don't really comingle with lady jocks who have repressed anger, oddly enough

"You should. Three of you, hot and heavy...girls gone wild."

"Gross, this is why you don't have any long lasting female friendships. Seriously, develop a filter Josh. And maybe an actual personality outside being a hooligan and creep."

"You're so right, Antoni-aaa...'We're not in junior high anymore. We're in the big time now.' Sam likes me. Don't ya, Sammy?"

He shouts this, in the direction of the fridge.