–aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

In some small, quiet corner he knows he shouldn't - this is so very shaped like a thing-he-shouldn't-do, it's so obviously right in the middle of the giant blind spot where he can't trust any of his reasoning, because it's so centrally about Maitimo–

–but most of his mind is sort of frantically reaching for it, not with magic (yet) but with raw longing, his mind is screaming with it, Maitimo, Maitimo, Maitimo - who's currently in agony, and it's his fault, for not being fast enough or careful enough - and Telumë owes him this, surely, to set right all the mistakes he's made, all the places where he failed, starting with not reaching the goddamned Gate together in time - no, before that, with letting down his guard and coming back to Haven too tired to defend the person who matters most to him in the entire world... 

He can't make himself walk away from that. 

He can, however, make himself hesitate, hold still just for a moment, try to find the edges of that desperate clawing certainty that this is the right thing to do, the only thing to do, that he could fix it right here and now. 

He's pretty sure he knows what the other Leareth would have to say about his reasoning here. 

Then again, he thinks the other Leareth would go for the Ring, if he's noticed it as well (has he?), he has problems to solve and people to protect too–

(Screaming, frantic objection, is that jealousy...) 

Telumë stands rooted to the spot, most of his mind crying out to go for the Ring now and make sure he gets to it first, and one small corner still, just barely, holding him back. 

- this is the Ring of Power, and people want it to the extent they want power, and Vanyel - doesn't. It's sort of striking. The Ring is trying not to feel rejected. It has met fish who wanted power more than Vanyel does. 

And usually, the Ring would show what it can do with joy, sharing a precious thing - but there's no joy in this, just the quiet certainty that Vanyel would want to know. It can end disease. It can do what the Valar do, for Valdemar and over time for all of Velgarth, make all the crops plentiful and all the accidents temporary and all the illnesses mild and quick-passing (it could also eliminate them, but that makes people dependent on it, the Valar decided to just go for 'mild and quick-passing' and much as it infuriates the Ring to know of a bad thing and not just FIX IT, probably they got this one thing right.) 

It can bring back the dead. (It is sorry, to mention that, but all information is worth having) - it can shred Sauron, obviously, that needs doing, and then it can bring back Savil and Randi and Shavri and everyone else lost when Haven was  - 

- and Amelka, and a thousand like her whose names Karis never learned, and everyone Vanyel has ever killed - probably they should arrange for that to happen in some fashion not obviously attributable to him, it'd be so awkward, they can let Vkandis claim credit even though he REALLY doesn't deserve it - 

- and eventually they can go back through history, plucking them all out from where they were lost, get to Urtho, which will delight Leareth, though the Ring wants to change some of the laws of the universe first because changing the laws of the universe seems easier than discouraging brilliant people from coming up with terrible ideas -

- most people can't do this, even with the Ring, because it will take so long, and hurt so much - the Ring can ease it, the Ring can make it possible, but the Ring cannot make it effortless, the work of fixing a world - and most people would walk away long before every person who ever died was raised, before every person who ever feared was safe, before a thousand exhausting balance-of-power negotiations with mediocre god after mediocre god wind their way to an acceptable conclusion, most people would stop, eventually, explaining themselves, and pull on the Ring to make their enemies STOP BEING SO STUPID (and the Ring would do this for them, it can't lie to Vanyel, it will do evil not just in evil hands but also in good hands that have the impulse to power more strongly than the impulse to keep trying -)

- but it can do it with him. 

Leareth will take the Ring. This, too, the Ring shares only reluctantly, because Vanyel ought to have time to think about this, because it will be an even greater burden if taken up hurriedly - but Leareth will take the Ring, and the first thing it will do for him is make him safe from every power across four worlds that might interfere with him, and maybe he will choose the right course after that but the Ring can't help him with that, and can - will - make sure no one else does any steering either -
 

Neither of the others is moving. 

Vanyel keeps his mage-sight and Thoughtsensing on them, but turns away, so they won't see that he's crying. 

He doesn't want it. The Ring has that part right. Why does the entire multiverse keep trying to hand him more power anyway? He's so tired, and the part of him where complaints and whining come from is muttering that it really shouldn't be just his problem, to take that on–

–and the usual voice answers it; that's not the goddamned point, it's not about duty or responsibility or whether he's morally permitted to set this down. It's just...the world, and all the people in it. And no one's succeeded at fixing it so far. Even Leareth hasn't. No one would say Vanyel had a moral obligation to sacrifice everything for this - and it would be that, the Ring isn't saying it but he knows it, taking an artifact that everyone else says is evil is going to cost him everything even if it's the right thing to do. 

He is, and has always been, a pattern that can't walk away. 

...

Also, he was warned in very clear terms that the ring mind-controls people. Everything it's telling him, everything he's thinking right now, feels deeply compelling and true. But it would. 

He remembers, distantly, a night spent at the top of a tower, with Yfandes gone, and how certain he had been that he should jump. This isn't at all comparable, the same heuristics don't apply – but he remembers thinking that too, back then. 

It feels very fake right now, but there's still a small voice in him yelling and waving around an imaginary flag, informing him that you don't make irreversible decisions in five minutes while standing at the top of towers, you just don't. 

The Gate is still open behind them. It's been seconds. Neither Leareth nor Telumë have moved.

:Yfandes?: 

:We should get out. Now: 

:We should get out: 

Vanyel turns away. It's the hardest thing he's ever done, and he's still in tears, but he's not actually confused, about what the right choice is. 

...He's also not sure if he's actually powerful enough to fight both other Leareths, or wrestle them through a Gate. 

:We need to leave now: he tells them instead. :I know it's talking to you too. We'll know if it's lying, right, once we're away. And we can talk as a group about...whether to come back, and if so, which of us should. But it'd be a really big decision. Deserves consideration: 

And he nudges both of them back toward the Gate. 

He needs to talk to Belrun he needs to talk to Belrun he needs to talk to Belrun... Leareth still isn't sure he could have walked away unprompted, but that litany in his mind was enough to get him to pause, and it's enough that he doesn't resist Vanyel's nudge. Vanyel has pretty good sense. Especially the older one, who's been through so, so much. 

He almost strikes at Vanyel, who doesn't and can't possibly understand, but - on reflection that thought is a very untrustworthy one - Van would understand if it were Stef in Maitimo's position, and he's morally consistent and can empathize, he knows the stakes of Telumë's problem. 

Telumë trusts Vanyel. A segment of his core memories, not the majority but some, are literally built on Vanyel. 

He doesn't resist being pushed back through the Gate. 

Yfandes herds them from behind. 

And then they're back, Leareth's Gate is down, and his head is clear again. Clear-ish. He's still sort of reeling. 

:Well, good and bad news: Vanyel sends to everyone in their party with Mindspeech, as well as Elrond. :Good news, we can do magic here safely, and Sauron doesn't know what just happened over there. Also we know the location of the One Ring. Bad news. We know the location of the One Ring. I think probably none of us should go that close to it ever again: 

Telumë is crying quietly. 

Vanyel gives him a hug. 

That's what - 

- oh, of course it'd show up as Sauron to a scry - 

:Yes: Leareth is kind of shaking now. He really, really wants Belrun here. :It was stupid of me not to raise that hypothesis: 

It should definitely have occurred to us. At least you were a mile away. 

It lies, you know, it makes it feel like every other route is hopeless but they aren't.

Belrun can tell that Leareth wants her and comes at a brisk walk from her room to where he is.

:I know. I...sort of knew at the time, even. Also I think it was lying that its way was actually an option. I'm pretty sure it would mind-control me into...not wanting the same things anymore: 

Leareth pulls Belrun into his arms. He's still trembling. :That was terrifying. I was not– we were just barely careful enough. I am not sure I could have walked away, if Vanyel were not there: 

He wants to share what the Ring said with her, even if he's now pretty confident it was one giant lie, but maybe it should wait until their meeting here is done. 

She hugs him very hard. :Thank you, Vanyel: she says.

:You're welcome: He's still hugging Telumë, who is still crying. Vanyel isn't sure he wants to know what the Ring offered him. 

Stef arrives and tries to extract his Vanyel. 

Sure, he can escape and go try to calm down in his room, it's not helping to keep being upset about it; the Ring was lying, there are other ways to fix it, even if not as fast, and - it's all right, it'll be all right in the end if they fix it at all - and the Ring wouldn't, actually, fulfil that promise, not really, it would twist him into something else... 

"Now we know magic in here is safe," Vanyel eventually remembers, calling it back to Leareth and Elrond. "Should I go invite Findekáno to join us?" He makes a face. "This is going to be such a mess to explain." 

"Findekáno - oh! Yes, absolutely."

The not-node is still there, so Vanyel can pull some energy from it, gather himself together, and Gate back to Vinyamar in his Arda. 

:Findekáno?: