"I don't think they can normally but I do want to kiss you. --I don't think there's a reason for love? It just sort of happens."

"Oh, crap, maybe it's contagious. That would explain why it's so important to protect people from hearing about it."

"Maybe? But I'm in love with you now. So we should kiss."

A horrifying possibility occurs to Kaleva. 

"Unless you don't love me in which case, um."

"I told you I can't. I wish I could, you're great and someone ought to love you, but all I have is lust. I'm sorry." 

Bruce really really wants Kaleva to hug him, but he can't ask for comfort from the person he's sad about having wronged, so he doesn't say anything.

They return to Kaleva's room and Kaleva sits on the bed. He looks like he's about to cry.

"No, no, it's fine. You don't. Have to love me."

Kaleva is sad, which is The Worst Thing, and it's his fault, which is even more The Worst Thing. "Do you want--a hug, or me to fuck off, or what?"

"--no don't go."

"Okay. Not going anywhere." It's weird that Kaleva isn't too fed up with him to want to be in the same room, but he's glad of it. He sits on the bed too, far enough away that he can't end up touching Kaleva unless Kaleva moves toward him.

Kaleva is not going to bother Bruce by asking for hugs.

Instead he is going to curl up in a ball and cry.

Bruce is going to do the same thing, actually. As quietly as possible, because it's pathetic and obnoxious to cry about a situation that is entirely his own fault.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm gross and I made you sad I don't know how to stop."

"You're not gross."

"I want to believe you. But I don't want to convince myself of something that isn't true and let myself do wrong things because of it."

"I wouldn't love you if you were gross and I love you so therefore you are not gross."

The other half of this statement is left as an exercise for the reader.

Bruce cannot do any exercises because he is wedged between the implausibility of someone loving him and the implausibility of Kaleva being wrong about something important. He should really come up with some sort of response, though. "Thank you?"

Kaleva should hug Bruce and cry on him about how Kaleva is so terrible that even when he is in love with someone that person won't love him back.

"No, you're good, you are so good, I don't love you back because I'm terrible. I went and got my awfulness all over you and I didn't--no, I did mean to, I wanted you to like me but I didn't mean to hurt you with it. I thought I could have one friend without messing everything up." He knows he's babbling but he can't seem to make himself make sense.

"How did you get your awfulness all over me?"

"You didn't used to want to. Do things. With guys."

"I didn't want to kiss anyone because I wasn't in love with anyone."

"And if I hadn't shown up you would have fallen in love with a girl and got married and been happy."

"Probably? But I don't want to be in love with a girl. I want to be in love with you."

He looks absolutely miserable.

"But . . . why? All I've done is make you sad."