what promises signed in our blood do we break

Well, that's - not one of the most straightforward ways to approach it but certainly - smarter. I'll keep your secret. I don't care. Any demands could come a decade later, a century later -

Of course, he'd have better alternatives, later, and he has very ugly alternatives, now. One kind of wonders if Leareth has realized how much he's holding -

- is there even any point in composing his thoughts into words if they're all being read anyway -

- I don't think it's anything to do with Melkor, except indirectly, he says. I - it started before he was paroled. It has been - problematic that - he's Nolofinwë's son -

the-final-accounting

:I am sorry: Leareth shields his Mindspeech less tightly than usual; they're behind another shield anyway, and maybe, just possibly, it'll help convey that he's sincere.

He leaves it at that for a moment, thinking. The same goes with Nelyafinwë as with Nolofinwë; proving his good intentions is impossible, and trying too hard is likely to incite suspicion more than it helps.

:I think there is a good chance Findekáno would end up accompanying the expedition: he sends finally. :The King wishes it to be a representative sample of the Noldor. He asked Nolofinwë to meet with you and draft a list. I suppose my question is: would it be better or worse for our strategic objectives, overall, to have Findekáno's name on that list. Note that 'strategic objectives' includes factors upstream of effectiveness. Such as, for example, your being miserable. I will believe you, if you claim you can function well either way, but it must cost you something:

- I've been working all day to get him on it, he should definitely be on it. He can keep the rest of our cousins in line better than I can, and I trust him, and Nolofinwë does too - and he'll want to go - he wants to clarify that he was distressed about betraying Findekáno to Leareth, he doesn't go around miserable whenever they're out of range of each other or anything - I think he's upset right now because he tried to talk to me earlier and I didn't think I could manage a conversation without - drawing attention - and I can clarify as soon as he's alone.

He doesn't actually want to say the rest but he can't help himself thinking it: If you hurt him I'll kill you. I made stupid reckless decisions and I have no right to be surprised if they have consequences but he is perfect and did nothing wrong and. This is stupid. There's no point in being confrontational about something Leareth has said apparently sincerely that he doesn't care about. Probably his world has lots of bigger problems and cannot really be bothered with ones that don't kill people.

the-final-accounting

:Then it seems I was the proximate cause of his distress. I apologize for that as well: Leareth ducks his head. :He sounds like a valuable addition to the team:

He leaves the rest alone, but he can't help smiling a little – there's a different flavour of respect for Nelyafinwë that he feels, sensing his thoughts, not respect for just his competence or his ultimate values, but for the fight in him, and some of that will leak through in whatever he says next and he's content to let it.

:This is not urgent yet: he sends, :but since it may become urgent rather suddenly, if we do encounter a dire threat that we cannot counter – one of my contingency plans might involve seeking a friend from my own world, whose magical strength exceeds mine: 'Friend' makes it sound a lot simpler than it is, but he'll leave it at that. :He also - prefers men to women. If this is something your people would have strong feelings about, it would be relevant to my decision. In his country, some people disapprove, but certainly he has not needed to keep it an absolute secret his entire life, and that might trouble him:

Would you be bringing some - companion of his as well? Or are you just worried people won't take it well in conversation? They ...won't, I guess, but in the Outer Lands there's nothing to be done about it so I imagine there's less fuss?

the-final-accounting

:No. Unfortunately. He lost his partner in rather tragic circumstances – as I mentioned, death in my world is not reversible. So it would be the latter that would concern me:

(One of a billion problems in the world that he can't fix - yet - and it shouldn't trouble him more than the rest, really, it doesn't make it better or worse that it was some sliver his fault, but his feelings are what they are.)

The first Quendi were created in pairs, man and wife, and that was Eru's design for all of them; but when we suffered attacks from Melkor in the Outer Lands, and people were kidnapped or murdered, we formed our own traditions to cope with the circumstances - perhaps Melkor-influenced, perhaps innocently meant. Marrying after a spouse died, for example, they didn't know the dead are reborn so they didn't know that was wrong. Demanding sexual favors in the context of a relationship not a marriage, though, that it is generally agreed they must've known was wrong even then, and lots of people think it was Melkor's work.

the-final-accounting

Leareth nods. :I will keep that in mind. Your world seems quite different from mine in this regard: At some point he's going to have to poke at how their marriage traditions work, so he doesn't step on some cultural taboo by mistake. Now doesn't seem like the time.

:I did still want to speak briefly of Nolofinwë: he sends. :Honestly, I like him. He is - refreshing. He mistrusts me, but for all the correct reasons – my arrival here is suspiciously convenient for Fëanáro, and I do have powerful magic that your people know little of – so there is not much I can do to address it and I am not sure that I ought. He does seem to think that the expedition is a bad idea, even leaving aside whether your father leads it, but he is letting it be for now:

He's a good man and in a different context would be a good King. Not under these circumstances, though.

the-final-accounting

Leareth nods slowly. :I suppose all we can do is make the best of the circumstances we are, in fact, in. I am planning to sleep now, and I told the King that I would provide shielding for a room where all the swords can be kept – Nolofinwë recommended banning them, your father pointed out that you need them for training before the expedition departs, I suggested the King ban wearing them on the streets but allow practice in an assigned room. If you have urgent need of me for some reason, you can wake me:

He drops the barrier and goes to stretch out on one of the couches again.

He waits until Leareth is asleep to talk to his boyfriend. He's in a better mood by the time Leareth wakes up - working on selecting people for the expedition but not frantically distracting himself from everything he's doing.

the-final-accounting

Leareth is also in a better mood. The threatening reaction-headache from overusing his magic is gone, as has the slowness of fatigue. He's ravenously hungry.

With his shields up, it shouldn't be obvious to any passers-by whether he's actually asleep or in trance. And nothing seems to be on fire. Leareth takes a few minutes to do what he really ought to have done sooner, except that there were almost no free moments for it, and he's been more sure of it since his Gate worked. He slips into trance and launches his mind toward the Void.

It's there, exactly where it ought to be.

So is his sanctuary.

It's not actually obvious that if his body dies here, he'll go there. There are some gods in the way who might have opinions. Still, if Mandos decides to meddle, that route also seems likely to result in his not permanently dying. He'll try to avoid risking it anyway.

He reaches out to find Nelyafinwë's mind, to ask if anything interesting has happened and where he can find food.

He's talking with his assistant and with Nolofinwë about the thousand people, and with Findekáno about the management of some other cousins, and with Macalaurë about whether Leareth's magic could be emulated or blocked or anything.

Hey! All quiet, as far as I know. I can send someone in with food. He passes this on to the assistant.

the-final-accounting

:Thank you:

So Macalaurë is a person he could talk to, to learn more about how magic works here. Leareth decides to leave it alone for now. He has the main thing he needs – an energy-source – and, in terms of building an alliance, it might actually help if the Quendi can ask him for help on their terms, while knowing that he can't use his power to harm them. It would be inconvenient if he decided he wanted to take over, of course, but probably it'll take them long enough, if they can do it at all, that he'll have made a final decision.

:When am I due to retrieve Tyelcormo?: he asks. :I do not yet know how to tell time, here:

It's the middle of the golden hours now, we'll fetch them after the next Mingling. The candles in that room burn down in eight hours, if that's helpful for timekeeping, and we have another twelve.

the-final-accounting

:That is helpful, thank you: Leareth drops the connection, and goes looking for the King's mind while he waits for food. :I am rested now and still available to assist with guarding weapons, if you wish:

Thank you! We've picked out a room for them and made people aware of the rule.

the-final-accounting

:I hope that is all going smoothly. If you would like to send someone to the library to show me the way, I will be ready as soon as I have eaten: Quick skim of the King's thoughts, mainly looking for affect: is he hopeful, frustrated, tired...?

Tired. So so tired. I'll send someone. Thank you.

the-final-accounting

Leareth waits. He takes some notes, using a memorized personal cipher that he isn't intending to mention to Fëanáro and that hopefully even the cleverest of the Quendi wouldn't be able to figure out on his own if he decided he felt like going through Leareth's belongings.

(Not that the notes have anything especially controversial in them, mostly trying to keep track of names and relationships and magic interactions, but: paranoia.)

Someone arrives shortly after that to show him the way to the room where they're storing weapons and doing training!

the-final-accounting

Leareth packs away his notes and carries the pastry he's still eating and follows them, senses open for ambient magic and any random surface thoughts or emotions he happens to glimpse.