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There's a total lunar eclipse two weeks later, the first one since January 2001. That semiquarter and most of the next pass without much more noise. Jackson is occasionally sad because of his dom's electric toy, and he's occasionally more stripey than he wishes to be, but there's not a whole lot Sadde can do about that. Against his hopes, Mason doesn't dump Jackson, and nothing gives.
Sadde continues socializing with people, but no one new. And as the semiquarter approaches its end and summer break gets closer, Sadde receives an email from Tobias, saying that he fully expects his daughter to come home and tell everyone all about her first half year at magic school.
The email tells Sadde to behave.
Sadde is not in a good place.
Sadde and Isabella in Eclipse
switch_between
eclipsi
"I mean - when I met you you'd come out of more than two weeks of that. And you still told me you were a switch, you were still shaped like a boy. You were you and not his trained stereotype."
switch_between
"Yeah, because I—resisted. I was still a, a switch, an—and sometimes a boy, then, with him. It's—these two weeks, I wasn't. I never did resist. Not once. It's—a—" He trails off, failing to articulate what he means.
switch_between
"...I—" He breathes deeply, then exhales slowly, and thinks. "I don't know. Pr—probably not. He'd—I'd—he'd have made me—I wouldn't—have come back. I think. He kept—praising me, for what a good girl I was being, how well-behaved I was, and I felt good when he did, damn it."
eclipsi
"All mine." Head-kiss. "He was just ignorantly complimenting you on your high-quality deep-cover mole behavior."
switch_between
Indeed, and there he can kneel on a kneeling pad instead of the floor. Much more comfortable.
"I d—don't think. He'll. I'll forget. Me. Even if I spend a long time around him."
"I d—don't think. He'll. I'll forget. Me. Even if I spend a long time around him."
switch_between
He clears his throat and tries again. "I said I don't think I'll forget me. It may—if I spend too long, like that. It may take a while. For me to—remember. But it's—I guess—it was an experiment. I—" He shakes his head against her legs. "I know I can survive it, now. I think."
eclipsi
"Yeah. It's not fast enough. But there's only one more break of that length before you're free."
switch_between
"Yeah," he sighs. "I wonder if I'll ever be able to convince him to let me spend another break not with him."
eclipsi
"I don't know. Sounds like the way he wants you to be doesn't have a lot of room for negotiation built in."
switch_between
He sighs. "It doesn't. And if it did, he would never approve of my using it to try to be with you more."
switch_between
"He probably thinks you're just wrong about yourself. Just like he thought I was wrong about me. And now thinks he's right. Maybe you just haven't found 'the right dom' yet, or something."